Highly Amusing: 113+ Stoner Jokes to Make You Laugh

Introduction

Stoner jokes have become a staple in the world of comedy. While we don’t endorse or encourage drug use, there’s no denying that these jokes have a unique way of tickling your funny bone. 

In this article, we’ve compiled a list of stoner jokes that are sure to make you laugh, no matter what your state of mind. So, sit back, relax, and prepare to be amused.

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Stoner Jokes

1. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What do you call a stoner with two spliffs? Double jointed.
3. Why did the stoner refuse to play cards with the jungle animals? He was afraid of cheetahs.
4. How do you know a stoner has been at your computer? You find a lot of “cookies.”
5. What do you call a stoner who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
6. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of comedy? Stand-up.
7. How do you get a stoner to talk? Bring up the topic of pizza.
8. Why did the stoner always carry a pencil? In case he came across a “high” point.
9. Why don’t stoners solve mysteries? Because they always lose track of time.
10. What’s a stoner’s favorite way to communicate? “Weed” chat.
11. Why did the stoner go to the beach with a ladder? Because he wanted to get even higher.
12. What do you call a stoner who bakes bread? A “baker.”
13. Why did the stoner name his dog “Lighter”? Because it kept getting him in “hot water.”
14. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of math? Al-gebra.
15. How do you make a stoner stop smoking? Throw away the weed.
16. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the concert? Because he heard the music was “uplifting.”
17. What’s a stoner’s favorite kind of music? Rock and “roll.”
18. Why don’t stoners ever win at poker? Because they’re always too “bluff.”
19. What do you call a stoner who can’t find his way out of a maze? Lost.
20. Why don’t stoners ever use elevators? They’re scared of getting “lifted.”
21. What’s a stoner’s favorite season? Winter, because it’s the “chillest” time of the year.
22. Why don’t stoners ever become librarians? Because they can’t keep “quiet.”
23. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of movie? “Bud” comedies.
24. How do you make a stoner laugh on a Sunday? Tell them a joke on a Wednesday.
25. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the art gallery? He wanted to see the “high”lights.
26. Why don’t stoners ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re giggling uncontrollably!
27. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of math? High school.
28. Why did the stoner refuse to take an elevator? He was afraid of getting too high.
29. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it, or in a stoner’s case, a little bud!
30. What’s a stoner’s favorite chocolate bar? “Nug”tella!
31. What do you call a stoner with two spliffs? Double-jointed.
32. Why did the stoner plant cheerios? He thought they were doughnut seeds.
33. What do you call a stoner with two eyes closed? A stinker.
34. What’s a stoner’s favorite game show? The Price Is Right… after a good sale at the dispensary.
35. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a stoner? Frostbite.
36. How do stoners stay up to date with current events? They read the “high” news.
37. Why did the stoner break up with the calendar? He was tired of waiting for 4/20.
38. What did the stoner say to the refrigerator? “Are you running? Because I’m feeling a little ice-high!”
39. Why was the stoner always so calm during thunderstorms? He knew it was just a little “high” voltage.
40. What’s a stoner’s favorite rock band? The Rolling Stoned.

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Funny Stoner One-Liners

41. What did one stoner say to the other stoner at the grocery store? “Dude, this place has the dankest produce.”
42. Why don’t stoners play cards in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs.
43. What do you call a stoner who just broke up with their significant other? Single and ready to “mingle.”
44. How do stoners make decisions? They take a hit or miss approach.
45. Why was the stoner always calm in traffic? Because he had a bumper stash.
46. What do you call a stoner who can’t find their weed? Lost in the pot-dles.
47. Why did the stoner sit on the clock? He wanted to be on “high” time.
48. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a “baked” plot.
49. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the concert? Because he wanted to get to a higher note.
50. What did the stoner say when he won the lottery? “I’m gonna be a bud-ionaire!”
51. Why did the stoner bring a backpack to the desert? He heard it was a great place to find sand weed.
52. Why did the stoner apply for a job at the bakery? He wanted to work with some “dough” in a relaxed environment.
53. What do you call a stoner with a lot of cats? A purr-aholic.
54. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the concert? He wanted to get even higher.
55. How do you know if your friend is a stoner? Don’t worry; they’ll tell you… repeatedly.
56. What’s a stoner’s favorite kind of gardening? Weed-eating.
57. Why did the stoner call 911 at a music festival? He lost his jam.
58. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of music? Rock ‘n’ Roll, of course.
59. What’s a stoner’s favorite board game? Monopoly, because they like the idea of having their own space.
60. Why did the stoner go to the airport with a suitcase full of herbs? He wanted to catch a “flight.”
61. What do you call a stoner with two semesters of college under their belt? A sophomore-ificated.
62. Why don’t stoners ever argue? Because they always find a joint resolution.
63. What do you call a stoner with a broken leg? A cast-away.
64. Why did the stoner put their money in the blender? Because they wanted to make liquid assets.
65. What’s a stoner’s favorite dance move? The “twist” and shout.
66. Why did the stoner apply for a job at the hotel? They heard it was a “high”-end establishment.
67. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the beach? To catch the high tide.
68. What’s a stoner’s favorite place in the library? The “high”-story section.
69. Why did the stoner become a chef? Because he knew how to make a mean pot roast.
70. What do you call a stoner on a bicycle? Two-tired.
71. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the nightclub? Because he wanted to get on the same level as everyone else.
72. What do you call a stoner who wins a poker game? A potluck.
73. Why did the stoner go to the movie theater with a ladder? He heard the movie was on another level.
74. What’s a stoner’s favorite month of the year? April, because it’s 4/20 for an entire month.
75. Why did the stoner become a musician? He wanted to hit all the high notes.
76. Why did the stoner refuse to buy a smartphone? He was afraid of getting too “stoned” with apps.
77. What’s a stoner’s favorite Shakespearean play? “Macbetha Kush.”
78. Why don’t stoners ever take up archery? They can’t stop hitting the “bowl.”
79. Why did the stoner start a garden? He wanted to grow his own “pot.”
80. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of puzzle? A maze, because they enjoy getting lost.

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Humorous Stoner Jokes

81. Why don’t stoners ever become weather forecasters? They can’t predict the “highs” and “lows.”
82. What do you call a stoner who’s a professional dancer? A “ballet” dancer.
83. Why did the stoner go to the doctor? He thought he had “chronic” pain.
84. What’s a stoner’s favorite childhood game? Hide and “reefer.”
85. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the gym? He heard it was a great place to “lift.”
86. What’s a stoner’s favorite superhero? The “Green” Lantern, of course.
87. Why did the stoner become a gardener? He had a green thumb, especially when it came to cannabis.
88. What’s a stoner’s favorite style of comedy? Sativa-irical.
89. Why don’t stoners ever play cards in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs and wild card games.
90. What did the stoner say to the vending machine? “I’ll have one of everything, please.”
91. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the art gallery? He wanted to get a higher perspective on the paintings.
92. What’s a stoner’s favorite musical instrument? The “bongos.”
93. Why did the stoner apply for a job at the bakery? He wanted to roll some “dough.”
94. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of weather? A “high” pressure system.
95. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the zoo? He wanted to see the “ganja”-roos.
96. What do you call a stoner who’s always losing their keys? A “pot” holder.
97. Why did the stoner go to the baseball game with a ladder? He wanted to catch a “fly” ball.
98. What’s a stoner’s favorite instrument to play in a band? The “bass” guitar.
99. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the forest? He wanted to see the “high” trees.
100. What do you call a stoner who’s also a lifeguard? A “swim”stoner.
101. Why did the stoner become a gardener? Because he wanted to be surrounded by good “vibes.”
102. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the picnic? He wanted to reach a “higher” level of relaxation.
103. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of pasta? Pot-tellini.
104. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the space launch? He thought it was a “joint” venture.
105. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the bank? He wanted to check his balance.
106. What’s a stoner’s favorite holiday? 4/20, the “highest” of all.
107. Why don’t stoners ever get mad at video games? They’re too “blown” away by the graphics.
108. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the orchestra? He wanted to get closer to the “high” notes.
109. What do you call a stoner who loves science fiction? A “space” cadet.
110. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the comedy club? He wanted to “stand-up” comedy.
111. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of movie snack? Popcorn with “butter.”
112. Why did the stoner go to the mountain with a ladder? He wanted to climb to “higher” ground.
113. What do you call a stoner with a lot of plants? A “weed” farmer.
114. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the fashion show? He wanted to “rise” to the occasion.
115. What’s a stoner’s favorite type of footwear? “High” heels.

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Conclusion

Stoner jokes, often characterized by their witty wordplay, have found a place in the world of humor. They don’t promote drug use but rather playfully poke fun at stoner culture. 

Humor can be a great way to connect with people and find common ground, and these jokes are a testament to that. Remember to enjoy them responsibly and always prioritize your well-being.

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