30+ Hilarious Baptism Jokes to Brighten Your Day


Baptism is a significant event in many religious traditions, symbolizing the initiation and purification of an individual’s spiritual journey. But that doesn’t mean we can’t sprinkle some humor into the mix! 

Whether you’re attending a baptism or just looking for a good laugh, we’ve curated a collection of jokes that are sure to make a splash. So, let’s dive in and enjoy these lighthearted baptism jokes!

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Hilarious Baptism Jokes

  1. Why was the baby baptized in milk? Because it was pasteurized for greatness!
  2. What did one baptismal font say to the other? “Is it just me, or is it getting a bit crowded in here?”
  3. Why did the fish refuse to attend the baptism? It didn’t want to get caught in a religious net!
  4. What do you call a baptism that takes place in a coffee shop? A decaffeinated immersion!
  5. How did the water react after the baptism? It said, “I feel so holy now!”
  6. What do you get when you cross a baptism with a basketball game? A dunking contest!
  7. Why did the baby’s diaper attend the baptism? It wanted to be holy, sheet!
  8. What did the priest say when he accidentally dropped the baby during baptism? “Heaven help us!”
  9. How did the priest dry off after baptizing a baby? He used a holy towel!
  10. Why did the baby refuse to be baptized? It thought the water was too deep-end-ent!

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Puns About Baptism

  1. How did the preacher get through the cold baptismal water? He had faith in his insulated vestments!
  2. What did the baby say after getting baptized? “I guess this is just how I wash my sins away!”
  3. Why did the baby wear floaties during the baptism? It didn’t want to sink into sin!
  4. What did the minister say to the baby during the baptism? “Just keep your chin up, little one!”
  5. How do you know a dolphin has been baptized? It’s all smiles and flips!
  6. Why did the baby bring a sponge to the baptism? It wanted to soak up the holy spirit!
  7. What’s a priest’s favorite water sport? Baptisurfing!
  8. How did the baby feel after the baptism? All washed up!
  9. What do you call a humorous baptism? A comic conversion!
  10. Why did the baby’s baptism turn into a food fight? The priest accidentally said, “Let us spray!”

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One-Liners About Baptism

  1. What did the baby say to the priest during the baptism? “Thanks for the liquid refreshment!”
  2. Why did the baptismal water start singing? It wanted to make a joyful noise!
  3. How did the baby describe the baptism? “It was a total plunge into righteousness!”
  4. What did the priest say when he accidentally baptized the wrong baby? “Oh, baptism and confusion!”
  5. Why did the baby bring a towel to the baptism? It wanted to make a holy dry humor joke!
  6. What do you call a group of frogs getting baptized? The choirpond!
  7. Why did the baby’s baptism take place in the ocean? It wanted to be fully immersed in spirituality!
  8. How did the baby feel about the baptism ceremony? It thought it was a “shell-ebration”!
  9. What did the priest say to the baby during the baptism? “I hope you’re ready for a tidal wave of blessings!”
  10. Why did the baby receive a special gift after the baptism? It was a “seasational” occasion!
  11. Why did the baby’s baptism turn into a dance party? Because it was ready to make a splash on the dance floor and show off its holy moves!
  12. What did the priest say to the baby after the baptism? “You’re officially a member of the H2Oly Family now!”

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Jokes About Saint Peter

Kneeling Jokes


Laughter is a universal language that can bring joy and unity, even in the context of sacred traditions like baptism. These jokes offer a lighthearted take on the occasion, highlighting the humorous side of life. 

Remember, while it’s important to respect the solemnity of the event, there’s no harm in adding a sprinkle of humor to brighten everyone’s day. So, the next time you attend a baptism or find yourself in need of a good chuckle, share these jokes and spread the joy!


Can jokes be appropriate for a religious occasion like a baptism?

Absolutely! These jokes are meant to bring a smile to people’s faces and add a touch of humor to the celebration. Just ensure that the jokes are respectful and don’t detract from the significance of the event.

Are these jokes suitable for all ages?

Yes, these jokes are family-friendly and can be enjoyed by people of all ages. They are meant to be light-hearted and entertaining.

How can I incorporate these jokes into a baptism celebration?

You can share these jokes during the reception or gathering after the baptism ceremony. They can be a great icebreaker and help create a joyful atmosphere for everyone present.

Do these jokes have any religious references?

Some jokes may mention religious elements like priests or the holy spirit, but they are meant to be inclusive and not offensive to any specific faith.

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