173+ Anthony Jeselnik Jokes: Dark Humor at Its Finest

Introduction

Anthony Jeselnik is renowned for his dark and edgy humor that pushes boundaries. His one-liners are sharp, controversial, and often leave audiences both shocked and amused. 

In this article, we’ve compiled a list of 173+ jokes that capture the essence of Anthony Jeselnik’s comedic style. Brace yourself for a wild ride through the world of dark humor!

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Anthony Jeselnik Jokes

1. Why did Anthony Jeselnik cross the road? To offend the chicken.
2. Jeselnik’s humor is so dark; it makes the night look like daytime.
3. He once told a vampire joke, but it was so bloody, even Dracula blushed.
4. Anthony Jeselnik doesn’t do knock-knock jokes; he does shock-shock jokes.
5. If laughter is the best medicine, Jeselnik’s humor is like the black plague.
6. Jeselnik’s favorite holiday is April Fools’ Day because he considers every day a potential prank.
7. They say laughter is contagious, but Jeselnik’s jokes are more like a pandemic.
8. Why did Jeselnik become a comedian? Because the world needed a villain with punchlines.
9. If Anthony Jeselnik hosted a roast for the devil, even Satan would be speechless.
10. Jeselnik’s humor is so dark, it has its own gravitational pull.
11. He told his therapist a joke, and now his therapist needs therapy.
12. Why don’t people play hide and seek with Jeselnik? Because he always finds the darkest hiding spots.
13. Anthony Jeselnik’s sense of humor is like a fine wine: it gets better with every offense.
14. He once made a GPS system, but it only gave directions to the dark side.
15. Why did the comedian cross the line? Because Anthony Jeselnik already burned it.
16. Jeselnik’s humor is like a double-edged sword; it cuts through taboos and sensibilities.
17. If Anthony Jeselnik wrote a book, it would be titled “How to Lose Friends and Offend People.”
18. He told his girlfriend a dark joke, and now she’s his ex-ghostfriend.
19. Why did Jeselnik refuse to play cards with the ghosts? Because they always had a “spook-tacular” poker face.
20. Jeselnik’s humor is so dark; it could make a black hole look bright.
21. Why did the chicken attend Jeselnik’s comedy show? To see what came first, the joke or the offense.
22. If you can’t handle Anthony Jeselnik’s humor, you’re in the wrong comedy club.
23. He told a joke so dark; even the abyss looked back and said, “Too far, man.”
24. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a rollercoaster; it takes you to places you never thought you’d go.
25. Why did the skeleton go to Jeselnik’s show? Because he wanted to bone up on dark humor.
26. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they have their own gravitational pull.
27. Why did Anthony Jeselnik become a comedian? To make life’s darkest moments a bit brighter.
28. He once told a joke at a funeral, and even the corpse chuckled.
29. Jeselnik’s humor is so dark, it has its own Netflix category.
30. Why did the ghost attend Jeselnik’s comedy show? Because it heard the afterlife has great laughs.
31. Anthony Jeselnik’s comedy is like a storm cloud; it brings lightning and thunderous laughter.
32. He told a joke so dark, even his shadow disowned him.
33. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black belt in comedy; he’s mastered the art of shock and awe.
34. Why did the alien visit Jeselnik’s show? Because it heard Earth had the best dark humor in the galaxy.
35. He once told a joke so dark; it went to therapy and came out as a unicorn.
36. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they come with a waiver for emotional scars.
37. Why did the zombie attend Jeselnik’s comedy show? Because it needed a good “deadpan” joke.
38. Anthony Jeselnik’s humor is like a haunted house; you’ll scream and laugh at the same time.
39. He told a joke so dark; it got banned in Gotham City.
40. Jeselnik’s comedy is so dark; even his shadow carries a flashlight.

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Hilarious Anthony Jeselnik Jokes

41. Why did the vampire go to Jeselnik’s show? Because he heard it was a “fang”-tastic experience.
42. He once told a joke so dark; it became a legend in the underworld.
43. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black hole; once you’re in, there’s no escaping the laughs.
44. Why did Anthony Jeselnik start doing stand-up? Because he wanted to prove that laughter has no limits.
45. He told a joke so dark; it had its own gravitational pull.
46. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a haunted mansion; you’ll never forget the scares and laughter.
47. Why did the mummy attend Jeselnik’s comedy show? Because it wanted to unwind with dark humor.
48. He once told a joke so dark; even the ghosts were like, “That’s too spooky for us.”
49. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black belt in comedy; he’s mastered the art of shock and awe.
50. Why did the zombie go to Jeselnik’s show? Because it needed a good “deadpan” joke.
51. Why did Anthony Jeselnik become a stand-up comedian? Because it’s the only job where being a professional jerk pays off.
52. Jeselnik’s humor is so dark; even the abyss is like, “Can you tone it down a bit?”
53. What does Jeselnik and a black hole have in common? They both suck you in with their gravity.
54. If you think Jeselnik’s jokes are too dark, remember, he once made a vampire cry.
55. What did the psychiatrist say to Jeselnik? “You’re not crazy, just a bit twisted.”
56. Jeselnik told a joke so dark; it got arrested for loitering in the shadows.
57. How does Jeselnik prepare for his shows? By reading obituaries for fresh material.
58. They say laughter is the best medicine, but Jeselnik’s humor is more like a prescription for chaos.
59. What’s the difference between Jeselnik’s comedy and a horror movie? In his comedy, you can’t look away.
60. Jeselnik once told a joke at a funeral, and even the deceased chuckled from the afterlife.
61. Why did the ghost hire Jeselnik to host its party? Because it wanted hauntingly good jokes.
62. If you can’t handle Jeselnik’s humor, maybe you should stick to knock-knock jokes.
63. What did the pessimist say after seeing Jeselnik’s show? “I thought my life was dark until now.”
64. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a lightning bolt; it strikes with precision and leaves you electrified.
65. What’s the secret to appreciating Jeselnik’s humor? A strong stomach and a dark sense of humor.
66. He told a joke so dark; it eclipsed the sun for a moment.
67. Why did the zombie invite Jeselnik to the apocalypse? Because he needed a good laugh before the end.
68. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they have their own “no entry” sign.
69. What did Jeselnik give the devil for his birthday? A list of the darkest jokes ever told.
70. He once made a vampire turn on the lights, just to escape his darkness.
71. Why did the werewolf invite Jeselnik to the pack? Because even under a full moon, his humor shines.
72. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black belt in comedy; he’s the sensei of shock value.
73. How does Jeselnik stay inspired for new jokes? He watches horror movies and takes notes during the scary parts.
74. He told a joke so dark; it got banned from the dark web.
75. Why did the ghost bring Jeselnik to the séance? To lighten up the afterlife.
76. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they make shadows look pale.
77. What’s the one thing Jeselnik is afraid of? A world where no one laughs at his jokes.
78. If Jeselnik ever became a detective, he’d solve crimes with his punchlines.
79. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite kind of comedy? The kind that makes you question your moral compass.
80. He once told a joke so dark; even his microphone whispered, “That’s too much.”

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Anthony Jeselnik One-Liners

81. Why did the zombie pick Jeselnik as its lawyer? Because he could make a dead case funny.
82. Jeselnik’s humor is like a horror movie; you’ll scream, laugh, and then question your life choices.
83. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite bedtime story? Anything with a tragic ending and a punchline.
84. He told a joke so dark; it left a stain on the universe.
85. Why did the ghost invite Jeselnik to its haunting? Because it wanted some “boo”-m-diggity humor.
86. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they cast shadows on his own shadow.
87. What did the vampire say after watching Jeselnik’s show? “Now that’s what I call a bloody good time.”
88. He once made a zombie laugh so hard, it almost reanimated.
89. Why did the demon bring Jeselnik to the underworld? Because even hell needed a good laugh.
90. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black hole; it sucks you in, and you never escape unchanged.
91. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite thing to do on a rainy day? Tell jokes so dark, the rainclouds blush.
92. He told a joke so dark; it made the Grim Reaper take a sick day.
93. Why did the alien invite Jeselnik to their intergalactic comedy festival? Because Earth jokes are out of this world.
94. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a haunted mansion; you can’t leave without a few scares and belly laughs.
95. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite genre of music? The kind that plays when someone’s about to get murdered in a horror movie.
96. He once told a joke so dark; it made the devil himself cringe.
97. Why did the witch invite Jeselnik to her coven? Because even her spells needed some dark humor.
98. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black cat; some people avoid it, but others see it as good luck.
99. What’s the best way to describe Jeselnik’s comedy style? A descent into hilariously disturbing chaos.
100. He told a joke so dark; it created a temporary eclipse of reality.
101. What did the shadow say to Anthony Jeselnik? “You’re making me look good!”
102. Jeselnik’s humor is so dark; even the Grim Reaper asks for a lighter.
103. Why did Anthony Jeselnik audition for a horror movie? Because it was the only script dark enough for him.
104. If you think Jeselnik’s jokes are too dark, just wait until you see his sense of fashion.
105. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite part about scaring people? Watching them laugh when they realize it’s just a joke.
106. He once told a joke so dark; it made the devil chuckle and say, “Well done.”
107. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite color? Black, like his sense of humor.
108. They say Anthony Jeselnik doesn’t have a heart; he has a punchline.
109. Why did the zombie invite Jeselnik to its comedy club? Because he killed it every time.
110. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they’re like a flashlight in a cave made of shadows.
111. What’s Jeselnik’s secret to staying calm under pressure? He’s always the one applying the pressure.
112. He told a joke so dark; it got banned in the underworld.
113. Why did the vampire invite Jeselnik to the blood bank? Because he wanted to hear some “O-negative” humor.
114. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black hole; once you’re in, there’s no escaping the event horizon of laughter.
115. What’s the difference between Jeselnik and a horror movie villain? The villain gives you nightmares; Jeselnik gives you darkly comedic dreams.
116. If Anthony Jeselnik wrote a self-help book, it would be titled “Embrace Your Inner Darkness.”
117. Why did the ghost invite Jeselnik to its séance? Because it wanted the spirits to laugh in peace.
118. He once told a joke so dark; it created an eclipse of common sense.
119. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite board game? Monopoly, because he can own all the dark corners of the board.
120. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a rollercoaster; it takes you on a wild ride through the abyss of humor.

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Funny Anthony Jeselnik Jokes

121. What did the zombie say after watching Jeselnik’s show? “I died laughing!”
122. He told a joke so dark; it came with a “viewer discretion advised” warning.
123. Why did the witch invite Jeselnik to her potion-making class? Because she wanted to brew some dark laughter.
124. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black market; it deals in the forbidden and sells laughs under the table.
125. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite kind of pizza? Extra dark with humor as the topping.
126. He once made a mummy unravel from laughter.
127. Why did the ghost call Jeselnik a kindred spirit? Because their sense of humor was eerily similar.
128. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they make the night seem like a dimly lit room.
129. What’s the first rule of Jeselnik’s comedy club? There are no limits, except the laughter limit.
130. He told a joke so dark; even the NSA couldn’t track its origins.
131. Why did the alien invite Jeselnik to their stand-up comedy showcase? Because they needed a taste of Earth’s darkest humor.
132. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a haunted forest; you’ll get lost in laughter and eerie surprises.
133. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite way to start a conversation? With a punchline that leaves you speechless.
134. He once told a joke so dark; it made a black cat cross his path for good luck.
135. Why did the zombie bring Jeselnik to the apocalypse? Because even in chaos, you need a laugh track.
136. Jeselnik’s humor is like a horror movie soundtrack; it sets the mood for fear and laughter.
137. What’s the key to understanding Jeselnik’s humor? Open your mind and embrace the darkness.
138. He told a joke so dark; it inspired a cult following.
139. Why did the vampire ask Jeselnik to be his stand-up coach? Because he wanted to sharpen his “bite-sized” humor.
140. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they have their own gravitational pull on your funny bone.
141. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite form of transportation? The dark comedy express, always on track to offend.
142. He once made a werewolf howl with laughter during a full moon.
143. Why did the ghost invite Jeselnik to the haunting? Because it needed a laugh track for its eerie activities.
144. Jeselnik’s humor is like a haunted house; you’ll scream with laughter and fear simultaneously.
145. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite type of book? Anything with a tragic ending and a twisted punchline.
146. He told a joke so dark; it got a standing ovation from the shadows.
147. Why did the witch bring Jeselnik to her broomstick convention? Because her broom needed a good cackle.
148. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a black mirror; it reflects society’s darkest corners with humor.
149. What’s the best way to describe Jeselnik’s comedic journey? A descent into hilariously disturbing depths.
150. He once told a joke so dark; it left an imprint on the fabric of reality itself.

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Anthony Jeselnik Puns

151. Why did the shadow consult Anthony Jeselnik? Because it wanted to learn how to be darker.
152. Jeselnik’s humor is so dark; it makes a black hole look like a nightlight.
153. What’s the secret ingredient in Jeselnik’s jokes? A dash of chaos and a sprinkle of controversy.
154. If you think Jeselnik’s humor is too dark, just remember, even the devil takes notes during his shows.
155. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite type of weather? Overcast, so his jokes feel at home.
156. He once told a joke so dark; it got banned in the underworld’s comedy clubs.
157. Why did the zombie hire Jeselnik as a comedy writer? Because he needed jokes that were “dead-on.”
158. Jeselnik’s humor is like a black hole; once you’re in, there’s no escaping the gravitational pull of laughter.
159. What’s Jeselnik’s advice for dealing with dark times? Find humor in the shadows; it’s always there.
160. He told a joke so dark; it left a stain on the fabric of reality.
161. Why did the ghost invite Jeselnik to its haunted house party? Because it needed a comedian who could “ghost” the competition.
162. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a dark alley; you never know what’s lurking around the corner, but it’s bound to make you laugh.
163. What’s the first rule of Jeselnik’s comedy club? There are no boundaries, only punchlines.
164. He once told a joke so dark; it made a black cat cross his own path for good luck.
165. Why did the vampire ask Jeselnik for stand-up tips? Because he wanted to master the art of “biting” humor.
166. Jeselnik’s jokes are so dark; they’re like a blacklight for your soul.
167. What’s Jeselnik’s go-to snack during a comedy writing session? Dark chocolate and darker thoughts.
168. He told a joke so dark; it created a time warp of laughter.
169. Why did the alien invite Jeselnik to their comedy show on Mars? Because even intergalactic beings appreciate dark humor.
170. Jeselnik’s humor is like a haunted forest; you’ll get lost in the comedy and find unexpected laughs along the way.
171. What’s the secret to appreciating Jeselnik’s humor? Embrace the discomfort; that’s where the laughter hides.
172. He once made a werewolf laugh so hard; it turned back into a regular human.
173. Why did the ghost call Jeselnik a kindred spirit? Because they both haunt people’s minds with their humor.
174. Jeselnik’s comedy is like a midnight snack; it satisfies your cravings, but you might feel guilty afterward.
175. What’s Jeselnik’s favorite holiday? Halloween, because it’s the one day everyone appreciates his sense of humor.

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Conclusion

Anthony Jeselnik’s comedy is an acquired taste, where the line between humor and offense blurs. These one-liners capture the essence of his dark and edgy style, showcasing his unique ability to find humor in the most unexpected places. 

Whether you love or loathe his humor, there’s no denying that Jeselnik is a master of the art of shock and laughter.

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