Rule the Laughter: 95+ Hilarious Ruler Jokes and One-liners

Introduction

In a world of serious matters, laughter serves as a valuable ruler to measure the happiness in our lives. Jokes and one-liners have a magical way of bringing joy and light-heartedness. 

So, let’s embark on a lighthearted journey filled with 95+ ruler-themed jokes and one-liners that will tickle your funny bone.

Jokes and One-liners

1. Why did the ruler go on a diet? It wanted to lose some inches!
2. What do you call a ruler who is always right? A “straight” shooter!
3. Why was the ruler always invited to parties? Because it could “inch”ertain everyone!
4. Why did the ruler become a musician? It could measure the “beats” perfectly!
5. What did the ruler say to the pencil? “You make a fine point!”
6. Why did the ruler break up with the calculator? They had too many “dividing” issues!
7. How does a ruler greet its friends? “Long time no see!”
8. Why did the ruler become a teacher? It knew how to handle “lengthy” explanations!
9. What did the ruler say to the tape measure? “You’re a long-distance friend!”
10. Why did the ruler refuse to attend the party? It didn’t want to “rule” the night!
11. Why was the ruler a terrible chef? It could never get the “measurements” right!
12. How did the ruler react when it saw a ghost? It became “straight” as an arrow!
13. Why did the ruler refuse to play cards? It couldn’t handle all the “inches” and outs!
14. What’s a ruler’s favorite type of music? Ruler and “bass” guitar!
15. Why did the ruler feel lonely? It couldn’t find its “long-lost” twin!
16. What do you call a broken ruler? A “mis-measure”!
17. How does a ruler stay organized? It uses a “foot”note system!
18. Why did the ruler apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to “measure” up to the competition!
19. How does a ruler stay in shape? It practices “straight” yoga poses!
20. What did the ruler say to the saw? “You’ve got some ‘edge’ over me!”
21. Why did the ruler become a detective? It was great at “measuring” the evidence!
22. What did the ruler say to the scissors during an argument? “You’re cutting me deep!”
23. Why did the ruler refuse to become an artist? It was afraid of “drawing” too much attention!
24. How does a ruler send a love letter? With “straight from the heart” measurements!
25. Why did the ruler join a rock band? It wanted to be the “ruler of rock” and roll!
26. What’s a ruler’s favorite type of movie? “Measuring” spoons!
27. Why did the ruler refuse to go to the beach? It didn’t want to be “ruler of the tides”!
28. What did the ruler say to the compass? “We’re in the same ‘circle’ of friends!”
29. Why did the ruler become an actor? It loved “measuring” up to different roles!
30. How does a ruler send a text message? “Inches” by inches!
31. Why did the ruler feel uncomfortable in a math class? It didn’t want to be “squared” with anyone!
32. What did the ruler say to the protractor? “You’re such a ‘curve’ball!”
33. Why did the ruler join a circus? It loved the “measure” of excitement!
34. How does a ruler communicate with aliens? Through “universal measures”!
35. What’s a ruler’s favorite time of day? “Centimeter” morning, and “centimeter” night!
36. Why did the ruler become a race car driver? It loved to “speed” things up!
37. What did the ruler say to the paperclip? “You’ve got me all ‘bent’ out of shape!”
38. Why did the ruler refuse to tell jokes at the office? It didn’t want to “measure” up to expectations!
39. How does a ruler tell the weather? It uses “inch”tuitive forecasting!
40. Why did the ruler become a stand-up comedian? It could “measure” up to the audience’s expectations!

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Best One Liners About Ruler:

41. What did the ruler say to the pencil case? “You hold all the ‘pointed’ ones!”
42. How does a ruler become popular? It “rulers” the social scene!
43. Why did the ruler go on a roller coaster? It wanted to experience “ups and downs” like never before!
44. What did the ruler say to the eraser? “You make all my ‘mistakes’ disappear!”
45. Why did the ruler start a fashion line? It wanted to set the “standard” for style!
46. How does a ruler do magic tricks? It “measures” its way to astonishment!
47. What did the ruler say to the rubber band? “You’ve got some ‘stretch’ to you!”
48. Why did the ruler become a DJ? It could “inch” in all the right tunes!
49. How does a ruler handle stress? It uses “inch by inch” relaxation techniques!
50. Why did the ruler get a part-time job at the construction site? It wanted to “measure” up to the task!
51. What did the ruler say to the thermometer? “You’re getting a ‘degree’ too hot!”
52. How does a ruler start a speech? With a “measured” introduction!
53. Why did the ruler become a scientist? It loved “measuring” the mysteries of the universe!
54. What did the ruler say to the calendar? “You’ve got the ‘days’ covered!”
55. Why did the ruler join a dance class? It wanted to learn some “straight” moves!
56. How does a ruler solve a mystery? With “inch”vestigative skills!
57. What did the ruler say to the stapler? “You hold everything ‘together’!”
58. Why did the ruler start a blog? It had so many “inches” of knowledge to share!
59. How does a ruler become a motivational speaker? By “measuring” out inspiration to others!
60. What did the ruler say to the calculator? “You’re the ‘sum’ of all my dreams!”
61. Why did the ruler become a lifeguard? It wanted to keep everyone “afloat” in safety!
62. How does a ruler make a wish? It measures “inch” by “inch” of hope!
63. What did the ruler say to the glue? “You stick with me through thick and ‘thin’!”
64. Why did the ruler become a photographer? It loved capturing “long-lasting” memories!
65. How does a ruler win a race? By taking “inch” by “inch” strides to the finish line!

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Humorous Jokes On Ruler:

66. What did the ruler say to the paintbrush? “You’ve got some ‘strokes’ of genius!”
67. Why did the ruler become a detective? It had a “lengthy” list of mysteries to solve!
68. How does a ruler become an architect? By “measuring” out grand designs!
69. What did the ruler say to the needle? “You’ve got some ‘sharp’ edges!”
70. Why did the ruler become a travel agent? It could “measure” out the best adventures!
71. How does a ruler tell a bedtime story? “Inch by inch” of excitement!
72. What did the ruler say to the scale? “You’re my ‘weigh’ to success!”
73. Why did the ruler join a music band? It could “inch”lude all the musical notes!
74. How does a ruler do math homework? “Inches” and outs of calculations!
75. What did the ruler say to the calendar? “We’ve got the ‘dates’ covered!”
76. Why did the ruler become a gardener? It could “measure” the growth of plants!
77. How does a ruler play hide and seek? By finding the perfect “straight” hiding spot!
78. What did the ruler say to the pen? “You’ve got the ‘write’ idea!”
79. Why did the ruler become a pilot? It could “measure” the heights of the sky!
80. How does a ruler choose a book to read? It judges “inch”redible covers!
81. What did the ruler say to the keyboard? “You’ve got some ‘straight’ typing skills!”
82. Why did the ruler become a coach? It loved “measuring” players’ potential!
83. How does a ruler go on vacation? “Inch” by “inch” exploration!
84. What did the ruler say to the map? “You’ve got all the ‘directions’!”
85. Why did the ruler become a fashion designer? It could “measure” up trendy outfits!
86. How does a ruler calculate expenses? “Inch” by “inch” budgeting!
87. What did the ruler say to the sewing machine? “You’ve got some ‘stitches’ of magic!”
88. Why did the ruler join a choir? It could “measure” up harmonious melodies!
89. How does a ruler navigate a maze? With “inch”uitive strategies!
90. What did the ruler say to the notebook? “You’re filled with ‘lined’ pages!”
91. Why did the ruler become a firefighter? It wanted to “measure” up to bravery!
92. How does a ruler plan a party? With “inch”redible attention to detail!
93. What did the ruler say to the microscope? “You’ve got some ‘focused’ vision!”
94. Why did the ruler become a comedian? It could “inch”clude everyone in laughter!
95. Why was the ruler always so confident? Because it always knew how to measure up!
96. Why did the ruler win the race? Because it ruled the straight line!
97. How did the ruler become so popular? It had a “ruler-tastic” personality!
98. Why did the pencil break up with the ruler? It felt like it was always being measured up!
99. Why did the ruler become a teacher? It loved showing others how to measure success!

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Conclusion

Laughter truly reigns supreme, and these ruler-themed jokes and one-liners have showcased how humor can bring joy and smiles to our lives. So, the next time you’re feeling down, remember these jokes and let them measure the happiness in your heart.

FAQs