Roman Reign: 67+ Jokes About Thinking of the Roman Empire

Introduction

When history and humor collide, you get a legion of jokes about the mighty Roman Empire. From its grandeur to its downfall, these Roman Empire jests will have you rolling on the floor like a chariot wheel. So, buckle up your togas and get ready for a comedic journey through time!

Read More: Jokes About Is Civil Air Patrol A Joke

How Often Do You Think Of The Roman Empire Jokes

1. How often do you think of the Roman Empire? Only when I’m trying to conquer my morning coffee.
2. Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons? He wanted to draw his plans for world domination.
3. What do you call a Roman emperor with a cold? Julius Sneezer.
4. Why did the gladiator break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too “swordinary.”
5. What do you get when you cross a centurion with a snowman? Frost-bite.
6. Why was the Colosseum such a popular venue? It had great “arena” lighting!
7. How did the Roman fisherman greet each other? With a “Tide, Julius!”
8. Why did the Roman farmer become an artist? He wanted to make his crops “draw” attention.
9. What’s a Roman’s favorite type of soup? Caesar salad.
10. Why did the Roman student do so well in math? He knew how to count on his fingers…and his gladiators.
11. What’s a gladiator’s favorite TV show? “Sparta-cus.”
12. How did the Roman barber cut hair so quickly? With a “Julius Scissor.”
13. Why don’t Romans like playing hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when everyone’s wearing togas!
14. Why was the Roman musician terrible at concerts? He was always fiddling around like Nero.
15. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
16. How did Caesar like his pizza? Et tu, pepperoni?
17. Why did the Roman athlete go to culinary school? He wanted to master the art of throwing salads.
18. What do you call a Roman ghost? Julius Squeezer!
19. Why did the Roman soldier go to art school? He wanted to draw his sword with precision.
20. Why did the Roman poet always carry a pencil? To “script” his verses.
21. What’s a Roman’s favorite fruit? A grape, because it’s always crushing it.
22. Why did the Roman comedian get booed off stage? His jokes were all colossally bad.
23. How do you know if a Roman is lying? His toga’s on fire!
24. What did the Roman say to the bartender? “I’ll have a Caesar, with extra Brutus.”
25. Why don’t Romans play cards in the Colosseum? Too many cheetahs.
26. How did the Roman keep his chariot wheels clean? He gave them a “toga” party.
27. Why did the Roman gardener get arrested? He was caught “caesar-ing” the vegetables.
28. What do you call a Roman with a cold? A citizen!
29. Why did the Roman gladiator always carry a spear? He liked to “point” out his opponents’ flaws.
30. How do you know if a Roman has been using your computer? There’s Latin all over your keyboard!

Read More: Jokes About Medicare Plan G

Best How Often DoYou Think Of The Roman Empire Jokes

31. Why did the Roman architect go broke? Because he kept building colosseums in the clouds!
32. What’s a Roman’s favorite type of movie? Gladiator flicks!
33. Why did the Roman gladiator go to therapy? He had too many “axes” to grind.
34. How did the Roman general communicate with his troops? He sent them “tablet” messages!
35. Why did the Roman emperor go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “Caesarean” section coming on.
36. Why don’t Romans play hide and seek in the bathhouses? Too many steamy surprises!
37. What did the Roman say to the actor who forgot his lines? “Et tu, Promptus?”
38. How did the Roman lawyer win his cases? He always had a “forum” of evidence!
39. What did the Roman politician say to the crowd? “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears… I seem to have misplaced mine!”
40. Why did the Roman poet always write outdoors? He wanted his verses to have a “natural” flow.
41. Why did the Roman athlete refuse to run in the rain? He didn’t want to catch colosseum fever!
42. What did the Roman comedian say to the heckler? “Are you not entertained?!”
43. Why did the Roman musician start a band? He wanted to play some “tuba” tunes in the Colosseum.
44. Why did the Roman baker get promoted? He always rose to the occasion!
45. What do you call a Roman who’s a big fan of puns? A “Pontifex Maximus” of wordplay!
46. Why don’t Romans ever tell secrets? Because they’re always worried someone will spill the beans in the forum!
47. Why did the Roman engineer become a stand-up comedian? He wanted to “build” a better audience!
48. What did the Roman sailor say when he bumped into someone? “Row, row, row your boat… gently into the Tiber!”
49. Why was the Roman poet terrible at relationships? He always ended up in “Eros and Psyche” drama!
50. How did the Roman chef spice up his dishes? With a sprinkle of Pompeii pepper!
51. Why did the Roman gladiator bring a suitcase to the arena? He wanted to pack a punch!
52. What did the Roman philosopher say to the pessimist? “Don’t be such a ‘Seneca’ about things!”
53. Why did the Roman emperor start gardening? He wanted to plant his “reign” in history!
54. How did the Roman comedian greet his audience? “Ave, Caesar! Welcome to the laughatorium!”
55. Why was the Roman musician always out of tune? He kept playing lyres and violas!
56. What did the Roman say to his chariot when it broke down? “Veni, vidi, vici… or maybe just vici!”
57. Why don’t Romans trust elevators? They’re afraid they’ll “ascend” to power too quickly!
58. Why was the Roman poet never invited to parties? He always brought too much “Ovid” poetry!
59. How did the Roman baker make such delicious bread? He kneaded it with love and Roman flour power!
60. What did the Roman say to the time traveler? “When in Rome, do as the Romans do… but don’t touch anything!”
61. Why was the Roman librarian so popular? He always had the scrolls on the latest gossip!
62. Why don’t Romans use smartphones? They prefer to “scroll” through their parchment rolls!
63. What did the Roman actor say to his understudy? “Break a laurel wreath!”
64. Why did the Roman artist only paint naked people? He wanted to capture the naked truth of humanity!
65. How did the Roman barber style Caesar’s hair? With a little bit of “Imperial pomade” and a lot of ambition!
66. What did the Roman politician promise the people? “Bread, circuses, and a toga for every citizen!”
67. Why don’t Romans play dodgeball? Because they don’t need to dodge anything with those shields!
68. Why did the Roman athlete go to therapy? He had a chariot complex!
69. What did the Roman say to the gladiator who lost his sword? “Looks like you need to ‘get a grip’ on things!”
70. Why was the Roman comedian always so confident? Because he knew his jokes were “Colosseum-worthy”!

Read More: 

Jokes About Less Funny As A

Jokes About Juan

Conclusion

The Roman Empire may have fallen, but its legacy lives on through these timeless jokes. Whether you’re a history buff or just appreciate a good laugh, these quips prove that even empires have a funny side.

FAQs