Pandemic Humor: 137+ One-liners to Lighten the Mood

Introduction

In times of hardship, humor often acts as a coping mechanism. Amid the pandemic, laughter has become a valuable asset to lift spirits and foster resilience. 

Let’s delve into some light-hearted pandemic jokes that might bring a smile to your face!

Read More: Jokes About Male Nurse

Pandemic Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award during the pandemic? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. What’s a pandemic-proof job? Social distancing referees – they always keep people at arm’s length!
3. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm during a pandemic? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
4. How did the computer get sick during the pandemic? It caught a virus.
5. What’s a quarantine person’s favorite song? “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police.
6. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright – she had to shade her eyes!
7. How do you stay sane during lockdown? By taking it one Zoom at a time.
8. Why did the tomato turn red during the pandemic? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. What’s the best way to avoid touching your face? A glass of wine in each hand!
10. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
11. Why don’t we ever see bats at parties during the pandemic? Because they’re afraid of coronas!
12. What’s the difference between quarantine and isolation? Quarantine is spending time with your family; isolation is spending time with your family!
13. Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story bestseller you wish you never bought!
14. Why did the tomato refuse to stay in lockdown? It couldn’t ketchup with the latest news!
15. What’s a virus’s favorite game? Hide and Sneezes!
16. Why did the scarecrow get promoted during the pandemic? Because he was outstanding in his field of social distancing!
17. How did the barber win during the lockdown? By shear determination!
18. What’s a politician’s favorite type of mask? Two-faced.
19. Why did the WiFi break up with the computer? It couldn’t handle the social distance.
20. What did one mask say to the other? “You cover me, and I’ll cover you!”
21. How does the virus communicate? By sending text messages – RNA messages, to be precise!
22. Why don’t we ever play hide and seek with the virus? Because it’s good at finding hosts!
23. What did the hand sanitizer say to the hand? “Talk to the palm!”
24. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
25. What’s a pandemic zombie’s favorite dessert? Quarantiramisu!
26. Why was the calendar always scared? Because its days were numbered!
27. What’s a quarantine bee’s favorite pop group? The Bee Gees!
28. Why don’t we ever tell secrets about the pandemic? Because they tend to go viral!
29. What did the pen say to the face mask? “You complete me!”
30. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
31. What’s a germ’s favorite hangout spot? The “hot spot”!
32. Why did the astronaut bring a mask to space? To protect himself from comet-19!
33. What’s the best thing about Switzerland during the pandemic? Their flag is a big plus!
34. What did the face mask say to the mouth? “Cover for me, I need a break!”
35. Why don’t skeletons catch the virus? They’ve got no body to infect!

Read More: Jokes About EMT

Hilarious Pandemic Jokes

36. What’s the virus’s favorite kind of music? Heavy contagion!
37. Why don’t they play baseball during the pandemic? They’re afraid of catching too many bats!
38. Why was the math book upset? Because it had too many problems, but the virus wasn’t one of them!
39. What’s a germ’s favorite board game? Pandemic!
40. Why was the gym closed during the pandemic? The weights were spreading rumors!
41. What did the mask say to the ears? “Thanks for always being there to support me!”
42. Why did the bubblegum refuse to wear a mask? It didn’t want to stick to the rules!
43. How does the virus throw a party? It spreads the word!
44. What did the quarantined cell phone say? “I’ve got no bars!”
45. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of sanitizing!
46. How do you organize a virtual party? You click together!
47. Why did the tomato turn red while in quarantine? Because it saw the salad dressing!
48. What’s a virus’s favorite holiday? Flu Year’s Eve!
49. Why don’t viruses watch much TV? Too many germs!
50. What’s the virus’s favorite school subject? Spelling!
51. Why did the clock get sick? It had too many ticks!
52. What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”
53. Why was the snowman so good at social distancing? He was an expert at chilling!
54. How did the vegetable patch keep safe during the pandemic? It raised its “quarantine”!
55. Why was the broom late? It swept in past curfew!
56. What’s the virus’s favorite movie genre? Outbreak dramas!
57. Why did the chicken get a vaccine? To avoid being called a “chick-ill”!
58. How does the virus prefer to travel? By “flu” plane!
59. Why did the balloon refuse to attend the party? It needed to maintain some “air” of caution!
60. What do you call a germ that sings? A microbe-phone!
61. Why was the bank so quiet during the pandemic? It lost interest!
62. How did the germ feel when it entered the room? It felt like it was the “virus person” there!
63. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom – the stock market!
64. What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The Wurst Käse scenario!
65. Why did the baker go to work every day during lockdown? Because he kneaded the dough!
66. What’s a virus’s favorite car? A Volkswagen (“Volks-virus”)!
67. What’s the difference between quarantine and a nightclub? In quarantine, the spirits are high but the attendance is low!
68. Why did the tomato refuse to go outside? It was afraid to catch the “Heirloom” virus!
69. How did the virus break into the house? Through the cell door!
70. Why do they call it “quarantine hair”? Because it’s a curling issue!
71. Why don’t we ever play hide-and-seek with the virus? Because it’s always up for a game of “seek and infect”!
72. What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle waiting to happen… or a very confused pandemic!
73. What’s a pandemic zombie’s favorite show? The Walking (two meters apart) Dead!
74. Why was the math book unhappy? Because it had too many problems without solutions – just like the pandemic!
75. What’s the virus’s favorite type of footwear? Sneakers – always on the run!

Read More: Jokes About Eye Patch

Pandemic One-Liners

76. Why did the grape stop socializing? It was worried about getting too close and turning into a raisin!
77. What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell-lightful distraction!
78. How does the virus send emails? By using an “e-choo” server!
79. Why was the doctor always calm during the pandemic? They had a lot of patients!
80. Why did the chicken go to the seance during lockdown? To speak to the other side!
81. What do you call a virtual party for bugs? A Webinar!
82. Why don’t viruses use social media? They prefer super spread events!
83. What’s a germ’s favorite game? Hide and Sneezes!
84. Why did the cheese refuse to social distance? It couldn’t help being so “grate”!
85. Why don’t they play cards during the pandemic? Because someone’s always dealing!
86. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of the lockdown.
87. Why did the tomato refuse to socialize? It didn’t want to ketchup with anyone!
88. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field of social distancing!
89. What do you call a germ that loves to ski? A slope-y virus!
90. Why did the computer get glasses during the pandemic? To improve its “web” sight!
91. What’s the virus’s favorite board game? Pandemic, of course!
92. What’s the virus’s favorite vacation spot? Fluorida!
93. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
94. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems and not enough solutions, just like 2020!
95. What do you call a germ that’s a fantastic singer? A microbe-phone!
96. Why did the cell phone go to the party? Because it was hoping to catch a good signal!
97. Why did the tomato turn red during quarantine? Because it saw the salad dressing!
98. What’s a virus’s favorite instrument? The sick-tar!
99. Why don’t viruses use social media? They already went viral once!
100. Why did the musician stay home? He didn’t want to “catch a chord”!
101. What did the face mask say to the mouth? “Thanks for covering for me!”
102. Why was the calendar so scared? Its days were numbered!
103. What’s the virus’s favorite exercise? Coughing lunges!
104. Why did the math book look worried? It had too many problems but couldn’t find the solutions!
105. What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle waiting to happen!
106. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, maintaining social distance!
107. Why did the chicken join a band during lockdown? Because it had the drumsticks!
108. What did one mask say to the other mask? “You cover me, I’ll cover you!”
109. What do you call a germ that’s a poet? A “mico-bard”!
110. Why don’t they play cards during the pandemic? Too many hands to sanitize!

Read More: Jokes About Eye Doctor

Best Pandemic Jokes

111. Why did the tree go to the doctor? It had a bad case of “bark-teria”!
112. What do you call an alligator in a vest during the pandemic? An “investi-gator”!
113. Why don’t viruses like humor? They can’t take a joke, they’re too viral!
114. What’s the virus’s favorite kind of joke? A “sick” joke!
115. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of staying indoors!
116. What do you call an alligator wearing a face mask? An “alli-gator”!
117. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field of essential work!
118. What did the blanket say to the bed? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”
119. Why don’t we ever see spiders at a pandemic party? They’re excellent at social distancing – they have enough “web” space!
120. What’s a virus’s favorite accessory? A fashionable “mask”!
121. Why did the ghost go to the party? To liven up the “boo”m!
122. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing without a mask!
123. What’s a germ’s favorite game? Contagious Twister – it’s all about reaching out and touching someone!
124. Why was the musician asked to wear a mask? He had a high note!
125. What’s a virus’s favorite board game? Clue(do), where they can figure out who spread it!
126. Why don’t viruses use social media? They already went viral!
127. What’s a germ’s favorite dance move? The “Contagious Cha-Cha”!
128. Why was the broom late? It swept in after the curfew!
129. What do you call a germ that likes to run long distances? A marathon-virus!
130. Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems, just like 2020!
131. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
132. Why was the calendar always afraid? Its days were numbered!
133. What do you call a germ that loves to exercise? A fitness influenza!
134. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of quarantine!
135. What did the toilet paper say to the hand? “I’m on a roll!”
136. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing!
137. What did one mask say to the other mask? “Let’s stick together!”
138. Why don’t viruses like parties? They prefer more intimate gatherings!
139. What’s a virus’s favorite hobby? Cross-contamination!
140. Why did the cell phone go to therapy? It had a case of separation anxiety!

Read More: 

Jokes About Dumb People

Jokes About Doctor For Adults

Conclusion

Humor acts as a tonic, especially during challenging times. These pandemic jokes are a reminder that laughter can be the best medicine. 

Let’s continue to find joy amidst adversity and share smiles with those around us!

FAQs