Hilarious Notre Dame Jokes To Tickle Your Funny Bone

Whether you’re a die-hard Fighting Irish fan, a Notre Dame student looking to lighten the finals mood, or just someone who loves clever college humor, you’ve landed in the right end zone.

We’ve gathered 101 original Notre Dame jokes—from football fails and student struggles to holiday hilarity, all infused with that unmistakable blend of school spirit and sarcasm.

These aren’t your average jokes about Notre Dame. We’re talking divine punchlines, sideline giggles, and campus classics that’ll make even Touchdown Jesus chuckle. And yes, if you’re here for Notre Dame football jokes, we’ve got more plays than the entire playbook.

So lace up your cleats (or your rosary beads)—it’s time to laugh like you just beat USC in overtime.

Notre Dame Jokes

Why don’t ghosts haunt Notre Dame anymore?
They got scared off by the loudest walls in South Bend.
I tried telling jokes about son-in-laws at a Notre Dame tailgate…
But the only thing colder than my punchlines was the beer.
The Notre Dame football team tried switching to a vegetarian diet…
But they couldn’t say no to meatballs shaped like mini helmets.
My friend said Notre Dame jokes are outdated.
I told him, “They’re like the Fighting Irish—timeless, scrappy, and slightly confusing.”
Why did the Notre Dame fan get kicked out of the library?
He tried tailgating in the historical section.
A leprechaun walked into Notre Dame Stadium…
And immediately asked for the smoothie bar.
What do Notre Dame fans and flip-flops have in common?
They’re only loud when walking into a loss. Seriously, flip-flops are noisier than the student section.
Notre Dame football players meditate before games.
They call it “touchdown visualization,” but it looks more like yoga meets oxygen deprivation.
What’s the difference between Notre Dame and a buffet?
Nothing—both serve way too much hype and leave you bloated.
Notre Dame fans tried doing a “silent” protest.
Too bad they forgot the headphones.
My cousin wore boxer shorts to a Notre Dame game.
Turns out they were funnier than his entire wardrobe.
Why did the pencil get accepted into Notre Dame?
Because it was sharp, Catholic, and always ready for extra homework.
What’s the most Notre Dame thing ever?
Cheering a missed field goal like it was divine intervention. Almost as funny as jokes about winning.
A Notre Dame football player walked into a smoothie shop and asked for a protein shake.
He got served a green-colored joke about kale and Catholic guilt.
The Notre Dame mascot got mistaken for a caterpillar last week…
Apparently all the green made him look too insect-friendly.
I asked a Notre Dame fan if he had a flag for the game.
He said, “Yes, it says ‘Rebuilding since 1988!’” Talk about peak flag comedy.
Notre Dame football is like August weather:
Hot, promising, and always disappointing by mid-season.
Tried calling Notre Dame to ask for free tickets.
They told me to “Hang up unless you believe in miracles.”
Notre Dame’s playbook now includes “the smoothie shuffle”.
It’s just players pretending to blend strategies with zero output.
Why do Notre Dame students love flip-flops?
Because they match their season’s win-loss record—one step forward, two flops back.
What do Notre Dame jokes and offensive office jokes have in common?
They’re inappropriate at work, but gold at the tailgate.
Notre Dame is the only school where the walls talk…
And they all whisper, “Should’ve gone to Michigan Tech.”
How does Notre Dame decorate for holidays?
With gold tinsel, green beer, and a football made of fruitcake.
Notre Dame fans are like chicken nuggets:
Crunchy on the outside, but soft when it’s fourth and goal.
If Notre Dame had a mascot for academics, it’d be a confused pencil doing yoga.
What’s Notre Dame’s favorite science?
Quantum football: Every play is a win and a loss until you check the score. Definitely one for the science jokes fans.
Why do political jokes and Notre Dame games feel the same?
Because everyone’s yelling, nobody agrees, and someone’s always blaming the refs.
Notre Dame’s travel budget was cut this year…
So they’re now outsourcing football via Zoom.
My relationship with Notre Dame football is like my last breakup…
It ended with tears, a Hail Mary, and nachos.
Notre Dame students treat exam season like game day:
Loud prayers, dramatic pacing, and zero game plan.

Notre Dame Football Jokes

What does Notre Dame call a fumble?
A “sacramental offering” to the other team.
The Hail Mary is Notre Dame’s favorite play.
Too bad their quarterback’s arm is more of a Hail Maybe.
Notre Dame football is like a family gathering:
Loud, dramatic, and someone ends up crying.
Touchdown Jesus heard my prayer…
But even he couldn’t stop that last-minute interception.
Why do Notre Dame players carry pencils during the game?
To draw new plays in the dirt when all else fails.
Notre Dame fans are so faithful…
They still believe the team is rebuilding from the 90s.
The only thing scarier than a Notre Dame defensive collapse?
Offensive dad jokes in the tailgate lot.
Coach told the team to “hit the books”…
So they tackled the school bookstore.
Why did Notre Dame practice on Zoom?
Because their defense already had virtual tackling down to a science.
The team brought smoothies to the locker room…
Turns out they tackled the blender harder than the quarterback.

Notre Dame Student Life Jokes

Notre Dame students don’t cheat on tests…
They just pray for divine Wi-Fi.
The hardest thing about attending Notre Dame?
Balancing theology, tailgates, and chicken nugget addiction.
What do Notre Dame students and flip-flops have in common?
They both fall apart during finals.
One guy majored in “football theory” and minored in buffet logistics.
Why do Notre Dame students love pencils?
Because pens can’t erase bad theology papers.
What’s more inconsistent than Notre Dame weather?
Their student relationship status updates.
Why do Notre Dame kids wear boxers under their robes?
Because even in prayer, they like to keep it comfy.
“Study abroad” at Notre Dame means one semester praying from Rome,
And the other praying they pass their midterms.
When the Notre Dame internet goes down…
You can hear an entire dorm scream like it’s a tech apocalypse.
Why don’t Notre Dame students walk during August?
Because it’s too hot to think and too holy to run.

Notre Dame Holiday Jokes

Notre Dame’s idea of a Christmas tree?
A pine with golden lights and one football helmet as the angel.
What do Notre Dame fans hang on their trees?
Mini chicken nugget ornaments.
Notre Dame’s version of Halloween?
Students dress up as “Hopeful Playoff Contenders.”
At Thanksgiving, Notre Dame fans pass mashed potatoes…
And inherited disappointment from generation to generation.
The Notre Dame Leprechaun doesn’t visit during Christmas…
He’s too busy blending smoothies in the offseason.
What do you call a snowstorm at Notre Dame?
Just another day for the football team to blame slippery conditions.
Notre Dame’s version of a “silent night”?
The stadium after a missed field goal.
Why does the Easter Bunny avoid Notre Dame campus?
Too many traps set up by the engineering students.
During Lent, Notre Dame students give up soda…
But not buffet brunch, because some sacrifices are too great.
Why is St. Patrick’s Day basically a Notre Dame holiday?
Because it’s the only day their fans wear green on purpose.

Random & General Notre Dame Jokes

Notre Dame’s idea of a group project?
Four people pray, one person does it, and the rest hang up in the group chat.
My Alexa started telling Notre Dame jokes.
Now she only answers Hail Mary commands.
I asked Siri for jokes about Notre Dame.
She replied, “Sorry, I don’t do fiction.”
Notre Dame is so Catholic, even their vending machines give out holy water and flip-flops.
A Notre Dame fan walked into a wall…
Then apologized for not listening to the warning signs.
Why don’t Notre Dame students use meatballs in pranks?
Because they already wasted them on last week’s pep rally.
Notre Dame jokes are like puns about walls—solid at first, then just start crumbling.
They tried adding a comedy minor at Notre Dame…
But it got rejected for being too offensively random.
What did the Notre Dame statue say after the football loss?
“At least I’m immovable and not offensive.”
Notre Dame fans are like pencils without erasers—
Optimistic, sharp, but never ready to admit last year was a total flunk.

Work & Office-Themed Notre Dame Jokes

Notre Dame students interned at a law firm…
They were most skilled at making coffee runs and touchdowns.
The Notre Dame career fair only offers two paths:
Finance or Fighting Irish mascot.
What’s the most Catholic office at Notre Dame?
The break room—everyone takes communion with their smoothie and protein bar.
HR at Notre Dame now offers stress chickens—
Every squeeze plays the fight song.
At Notre Dame, “Zoom fatigue” just means
You missed your Hail Mary call on mute.
The printer in Notre Dame’s main office was blessed last year—
It still refuses to work on Sundays and exam weeks.
Notre Dame’s definition of “remote work”?
Logging in to class during a football watch party.
The only office supply students trust during finals?
That one loyal pencil from Catholic school.
The office thermostat war ended when someone
Threatened to replace the AC with a confessional booth.
Notre Dame’s new work policy bans caffeine…
Which means buffet naps are now mandatory.

Animal, Food & Drink-Themed Notre Dame Jokes

The only thing more aggressive than Notre Dame’s defense?
Chicken nuggets in the dining hall.
Why did the caterpillar enroll at Notre Dame?
To become a butterfly with a theology minor. He still can’t fly, but he prays well.
Notre Dame replaced cafeteria smoothies with holy water…
Attendance spiked—miracles in mango flavor.
Notre Dame’s official fruit?
The grape—because it turns into wine and stress relief.
The only thing Notre Dame players eat before games?
Faith, fuel, and flavored flip-flops.
A squirrel at Notre Dame just graduated with honors—
His thesis? “How to survive on pencil shavings and spilled smoothies.”
What do Notre Dame fans and buffets have in common?
They overindulge and regret nothing—until November.
Notre Dame invented the ‘holy burger’—
It’s just a regular one that says grace before cooking.
Even the fish sticks in the cafeteria chant “Go Irish”
before being dipped in tartar sauce.
You know it’s midterms at Notre Dame when
students eat cereal with soda instead of milk.

Notre Dame Science & Tech Jokes

Notre Dame’s science department developed a new formula:
Faith + caffeine = 3.14 GPA.
The lab at Notre Dame was evacuated…
After someone confused holy water with nitric acid. Classic science blunder.
Physics majors at Notre Dame proved gravity exists—
By dropping their GPA during finals week.
Engineering students at Notre Dame designed a time machine.
It only goes back to the last national championship.
Notre Dame IT finally fixed the Wi-Fi…
Only for it to go out again during football live streams.

Notre Dame Parenting & Political Jokes

Notre Dame parents don’t threaten—
They say, “I’ll tell Father O’Malley about your GPA.”
When your mom visits Notre Dame,
She critiques your dorm like it’s a home renovation show.
Notre Dame’s student elections are so dramatic…
You’d think the candidates were running for the White House. Peak political flair.
A political science major at Notre Dame tried debating a priest…
He lost—and confessed afterward.

Notre Dame Vehicles & Travel Jokes

Why don’t Notre Dame students drive during finals?
Because no one trusts their vehicle or their memory.
Notre Dame travel study programs include:
Rome, Dublin, and a weekend pilgrimage to a tailgate party three blocks away.

That’s All

If you made it this far, congrats—you’ve officially earned a degree in Notre Dame comedy!We hope these Notre Dame jokes gave you something to laugh about between lectures, tailgates, or awkward campus run-ins. Don’t forget to explore even more themed laughs in our student jokes, sports humor, and even some delightfully random nonsense.

101 Hilarious Notre Dame Jokes That’ll Make You Laugh Like a Fighting Irish Fan