137+ Hilarious Newspaper Jokes For A Good Laugh

Introduction

In a world filled with serious news, we all need a little laughter. Join us on a lighthearted journey as we explore some side-splitting newspaper jokes.

From headlines to classifieds, the world of newspapers has more than just the facts!

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Newspaper Jokes

Why did the newspaper go to therapy? It had too many issues.
What’s a reporter’s favorite game? Hide and seek the truth.
Why did the classified ad for the broken pencil fail? It had no point.
How do you catch a squirrel using a newspaper? Sit by a tree and read the news until one falls.
What did the confused newspaper say? “I’m just not getting the headlines.”
Why don’t newspapers ever get lost? They always find their way to stands.
What’s a journalist’s favorite dance? The editor shuffle.
Why did the newspaper blush? It saw the comic strip without its ink.
What’s black, white, and read all over? A newspaper with a sunburn.
Why did the scarecrow start reading the paper? To brush up on current events in the cornfield.
What do you call a newspaper that tells jokes? A “pun”-lication.
Why did the newspaper get an award? Because it had the best “coverage”!
How do newspapers stay cool in the summer? They open their “news”-papers!
What did one newspaper say to the other? “I’m all folded up about this!”
Why did the newspaper get in trouble at school? It couldn’t stop spreading rumors!
What’s a newspaper’s favorite type of music? Heavy “headline” rock!
Why did the classified ad for a broken pencil fail again? The eraser was rubbing people the wrong way.
Why was the newspaper always happy? Because it had a lot of “good news”!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in the classifieds.
What’s a journalist’s favorite punctuation? The “ex-claim”-ation mark!
Why did the newspaper go on a diet? It wanted to shed some “weight” in the classifieds.
What’s a reporter’s favorite plant? A “press” conference!
Why did the newspaper fail the math test? It couldn’t count on the numbers.
What’s a newspaper’s favorite dessert? Breaking “news”berry pie!
Why did the newspaper get a library card? It wanted to catch up on some back issues.
What do newspapers do on their day off? They take a “break” from the headlines!
Why don’t newspapers ever make good secret agents? They’re always getting caught in “covers”!
What’s a journalist’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Bad News.”
Why was the newspaper running around the office? It heard the paper was going to be hot off the press!
What did the newspaper say when it got caught in the rain? “Extra! Extra! Read all about the damp headlines!”
Why did the newspaper blush again? It saw the crossword without its black squares.
What’s a newspaper’s favorite game? Hide and seek the typos.
Why did the comic strip go to therapy? It had too many issues with its family tree.
What’s a journalist’s favorite fruit? “Current”-berry!
Why did the newspaper hire a lawyer? It was involved in a “press” lawsuit!
What did the newspaper do when it got lost? It asked for directions from the classifieds.
Why don’t newspapers like to fight? They always get torn apart!
What did one newspaper say to the other during a snowstorm? “I think we’re in for a white issue!”
Why did the newspaper break up with the comic strip? It felt like they weren’t on the same page anymore.
What’s a journalist’s favorite planet? “Head”-turn!

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One-Liners About Newspaper

Why did the newspaper take up gardening? It wanted to learn how to “cultivate” stories.
What did the headline say to the article? “You’re really under my title!”
Why did the crossword puzzle feel so accomplished? It finally got all the clues together.
What’s a reporter’s favorite place to hang out? The “news” stand!
Why did the newspaper get a job as a lifeguard? It wanted to keep everyone informed about the water conditions!
What did the headline say when it got a promotion? “I’m above the fold now!”
Why did the newspaper go to the gym? It wanted to get in shape for a “front page” story!
What’s a journalist’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Misfortune.”
Why did the crossword puzzle always bring a map? In case it got lost in the “across” and “down” sections.
What’s a newspaper’s favorite ice cream flavor? “Breaking” vanilla!
Why was the newspaper a great public speaker? It knew how to deliver “headlines” effectively!
What did the newspaper say when it lost all its subscribers? “Looks like it’s a wrap.”
Why did the newspaper apply for a job as a baker? It wanted to focus on “breaking” bread.
What’s a journalist’s favorite exercise? “Press” ups!
Why did the classified ad for a missing sock fail? It couldn’t find its sole mate.
What did the newspaper say to the scissors? “You’re cutting into my space!”
Why did the newspaper become an astronaut? It wanted to be the first to report on “out of this world” news.
What’s a reporter’s favorite type of coffee? “French” press!
Why did the classified ad for a broken drum set fail? It couldn’t drum up any interest.
What did the headline say when it couldn’t find its way home? “Lost in the story!”
Why did the newspaper go to school? It wanted to learn how to make better “headlines”!
What’s a journalist’s favorite type of cookie? “News”berry!
Why did the newspaper refuse to play hide and seek? It was tired of getting “covered” up!
What did the crossword puzzle say to the dictionary? “I’ve got all the clues, but you have all the answers!”
Why did the newspaper apply for a job at the bakery? It heard there was a lot of “dough” in it.
What’s a reporter’s favorite time of day? “Press” conference time!
Why did the classified ad for a lost pencil fail? It couldn’t draw enough attention.
What did the headline say when it found a hidden treasure? “Breaking: Buried Leads!”
Why did the newspaper bring a ladder? It wanted to “climb” the ranks of newsworthiness!
What’s a journalist’s favorite clothing item? A “press” suit!
Why did the newspaper go on vacation? It needed a “break” from all the headlines.
What did the crossword puzzle say to the jigsaw puzzle? “You’re missing a few pieces, aren’t you?”
Why did the newspaper always have a backup plan? In case it got “folded” in a different direction.
What’s a reporter’s favorite movie genre? “Breaking” news thrillers!
Why did the newspaper start doing yoga? It wanted to master the art of “news”-asana!
What did the headline say when it got a promotion? “Above the fold at last!”
Why did the newspaper get in trouble at the gym? It couldn’t stop “stretching” the truth!
What’s a journalist’s favorite sport? “Press” wrestling!
Why did the classified ad for a missing key fail? It couldn’t unlock any interest.
What did the newspaper say when it found out it was going digital? “Well, that’s a click-bait headline!”

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Best Newspaper Jokes

Why did the newspaper go on a diet? It wanted to reduce its “bulk” subscription.
What’s a reporter’s favorite animal? The “press”ed hamster!
Why did the newspaper go to the spa? It needed to relax after reporting all those “hot” stories.
What did the headline say to the caption? “You complete me!”
Why did the newspaper try acting? It wanted to get some “headline” roles!
What’s a journalist’s favorite board game? “Headline” Clue!
Why did the classified ad for lost glasses fail? It couldn’t “see” a good response.
What did the newspaper say when it found out it was going digital-only? “Looks like I’ll be making e-headlines now!”
Why did the newspaper go to the spa again? It heard there was a great “head” massage.
What’s a reporter’s favorite vegetable? “Press”-tato!
Why did the newspaper attend a magic show? It wanted to see the “headlines” disappear and reappear!
What did the headline say when it won an award? “I’m head and shoulders above the rest!”
Why did the newspaper get a job at the bakery again? It had a “rising” passion for news.
What’s a journalist’s favorite science experiment? The “press”urized reaction!
Why did the classified ad for a broken chair fail? It couldn’t stand up to the competition.
What did the newspaper say to the tablet? “I used to be your ancestor!”
Why did the newspaper apply for a job in construction? It wanted to build some strong “headlines”!
What’s a reporter’s favorite season? “Press” spring!
Why did the newspaper get a job as a tour guide? It was great at “pointing out” interesting places.
What did the headline say when it couldn’t find the right words? “Stuck in the headline loop!”
Why did the newspaper audition for a play? It thought it would be perfect for a “news-worthy” role!
What’s a journalist’s favorite video game? “Press” Play!
Why did the classified ad for a lost sock fail again? It couldn’t “pair” up with the right audience.
What did the newspaper say when it met an encyclopedia? “You’re so well-“versed”!”
Why did the newspaper become a chef? It wanted to “cook up” some great stories!
What’s a reporter’s favorite fruit tree? The “press”immon tree!
Why did the newspaper become a detective? It was great at “unraveling” mysteries!
What did the headline say when it discovered a scoop? “Gotcha, exclusive story!”
Why did the newspaper go back to school for the third time? It wanted to “headline” the class!
What’s a journalist’s favorite form of transportation? The “press”-sed car!
Why did the classified ad for a missing wallet fail? It lost its appeal.
What did the newspaper say when it met a blog? “We’re like cousins!”
Why did the newspaper become a chef again? It realized it could create delicious “word” salads.
What’s a reporter’s favorite superhero power? “Press”ence manipulation!
Why did the crossword puzzle go on vacation? It needed some time “across” and “down” to relax.
What did the headline say when it discovered a buried treasure of jokes? “Comedy gold unearthed!”
Why did the newspaper audition for a movie again? It wanted to be a “blockbuster” headline.
What’s a journalist’s favorite type of bread? “Press”to!
Why did the newspaper go to the comedy club? It wanted to “headline” a night of laughter.
What did the newspaper say to the novel? “You have a great plot!”

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Hilarious Puns About Newspaper

Why did the newspaper become a painter? It loved “making headlines” with vibrant colors!
What’s a reporter’s favorite clothing brand? “Breaking” fashion trends!
Why did the classified ad for a lost pen fail? It couldn’t “ink” any interest.
What did the headline say when it won a marathon? “Breaking: Fastest Headline Ever!”
Why did the newspaper go to the theater? It wanted to see some “headline” acts!
What’s a journalist’s favorite beverage? “Press”-o coffee!
Why did the newspaper join a band? It wanted to play the “headlines”!
What did the newspaper say when it met a magazine? “I’m a big fan of your glossy stories!”
Why did the newspaper become a detective again? It had a knack for “front-page” mysteries.
What’s a reporter’s favorite planet again? “Head”-liner!
Why did the newspaper try its hand at acting again? It thought it could deliver the “headlines” with dramatic flair.
What’s a journalist’s favorite kind of sandwich? A “press”ed panini!
Why did the classified ad for a missing shoe fail? It couldn’t “heel” any interest.
What did the headline say when it discovered a secret joke stash? “Exclusive: Humor Uncovered!”
Why did the newspaper become a gardener? It knew how to cultivate “headline” roses!
What’s a reporter’s favorite type of fruit? “Press”-simmon!
Why did the newspaper try its hand at photography? It wanted to capture “picture-perfect” headlines.
What did the classified ad for a lost hat say? “Reward for anyone who finds my missing cap-ital!”
Why did the newspaper go on a shopping spree? It wanted to fill its cart with “headline” deals!
What’s a journalist’s favorite type of cookie again? “News”-berry!

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Conclusion

Laughter is indeed the best medicine, and these newspaper jokes are here to provide you with a healthy dose.

Remember, even in the seriousness of headlines, a little humor can go a long way in brightening your day. Share these jokes with friends and family to spread the joy!

FAQs

How do you come up with newspaper jokes?

We craft these jokes with a touch of creativity and a sprinkle of newspaper-themed humor.

Can I share these jokes at my local newsstand?

Absolutely! These jokes are meant to be shared, and they might even spark a few smiles among fellow readers.

Are these jokes suitable for all ages?

Yes, these jokes are family-friendly and can be enjoyed by readers of all ages.

137+ Hilarious Newspaper Jokes for a Good Laugh