Laughing Down Under: 207+ Hilarious New Zealand Jokes

Introduction

New Zealand, with its stunning landscapes and friendly locals, is also home to a rich vein of humor.

From poking fun at Kiwi culture to playful jabs at their neighbors across the Tasman Sea, here are some rib-tickling jokes that capture the essence of New Zealand.

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New Zealand Jokes

Why did the kiwi bring a ladder to the rugby game? Because they heard the try line was up there!
What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand? A leisure center!
Why don’t New Zealanders ever get lost? Because wherever they go, they’re always in Aotearoa!
How does a Kiwi find their sheep in tall grass? Delightful.
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of music? Ba-a-a-roque!
Why did the Kiwi stare at the orange juice for hours? Because it said “concentrate”!
Why did the Kiwi quit his job as a baker? He kneaded a change!
What do you call a Kiwi in a suit? The accused!
Why did the Kiwi bring a car door to the desert? So he could roll down the window when it got hot!
What do you get when you cross a Kiwi with a kangaroo? A hopping good time!
Why did the Kiwi go to school with a ladder? Because he thought it was high school!
What do you call a Kiwi flying a helicopter? A rotorua pilot!
Why don’t Kiwis ever get lost in the dark? Because they can always see the sheep’s eyes glowing!
Why was the Kiwi astronaut always hungry in space? Because he could only eat stardust!
What did one Kiwi say to the other when they bumped into each other? “You Auckland me!”
Why did the Kiwi cross the road twice? He wanted to prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the Kiwi wear a raincoat? Because the weather forecast said there would be ewe showers!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of movie? Ram-coms!
Why don’t Kiwis ever win at poker? Because they’re always folding!
Why was the Kiwi’s vacation to Australia a disaster? He couldn’t find any parking for his sheep!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite dessert? Ewe-nique pie!
Why did the Kiwi put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets!
What do you call a Kiwi with a sheep under each arm? A pimp!
Why did the Kiwi become a gardener? Because he had a green thumb – and four green hooves!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite Beatles song? “I Wanna Hold Your Hand… (On a Sheep)!”
Why did the Kiwi go to the dance with a ladder? Because he heard the music was “rung-tastic”!
What do you get when you cross a Kiwi with a snake? A jump rope!
Why did the Kiwi become an artist? Because he was drawn to it!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite TV show? “Wooly Who!”
Why did the Kiwi bring a pencil to the party? In case he needed to draw blood!
What do you call a Kiwi with a dictionary? A smooth talker!
Why did the Kiwi bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
What did the Kiwi say to the iceberg? “Nice to sleet you!”
Why was the Kiwi’s computer cold? It left its Windows open!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite footwear? Sheepers!
Why don’t Kiwis ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re surrounded by sheep!
Why did the Kiwi bring a spoon to the barbecue? Because he heard it was a hot plate!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite vegetable? Leeks (because they make sheep’s clothing)!
Why did the Kiwi take a pencil to bed? In case he needed to draw the curtains!
Why don’t Kiwis ever go hungry in the desert? Because they always pack lamb chops!
Why was the Kiwi’s resume always so long? Because he had a lot of “ewe” experience!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite card game? Go Fish…ing for compliments!
Why did the Kiwi bring a ladder to the concert? Because he heard the band was “climb-mazing”!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite holiday destination? Sheep Island!
Why did the Kiwi put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!

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Humorous New Zealand Jokes

What do you call a Kiwi with a black belt? A woolly bully!
Why did the Kiwi go to space? To find the sheep’s Milky Way!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite pastime? Counting sheep… and losing track!
Why don’t Kiwis ever get lonely? Because they’re always surrounded by their “fleecy” friends!
Why did the Kiwi go to the doctor? He had a bad case of “lamb-in-go”!
Why did the Kiwi become a musician? Because he wanted to play the ewe-kulele!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite mode of transportation? Sheeprides!
Why did the Kiwi become a detective? Because he had a nose for sheepish behavior!
What do you call a Kiwi with a map? Lost!
Why was the Kiwi’s garden always so lush? Because he had a great relationship with his plants – they were “rooting” for him!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite app? EweTube!
Why did the Kiwi open a bakery? Because he wanted to make a lot of dough!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite board game? Flockopoly!
Why did the Kiwi bring a broom to the party? He heard there would be a sweepstakes!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of cheese? Brie, the ewe-nique kind!
Why was the Kiwi’s phone always so busy? He was always “wool-ing” his friends into conversations!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite subject in school? Ewe-niversity!
Why did the Kiwi become a tailor? Because he was great at fitting in!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite outdoor activity? Baa-baa-cuing!
Why did the Kiwi go to the doctor’s office with a sheep? It was feeling a little hoarse!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite kind of party? A sheep-counting party!
Why did the Kiwi become a pilot? Because he wanted to soar above the clouds and count the sheep from the sky!
What do you call a Kiwi with a headache? A baaaad decision-maker!
Why did the Kiwi go to art school? Because he wanted to draw out his creativity!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite fruit? Sheepberry!
Why did the Kiwi start a band with his sheep? Because they had great “baa-lance”!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of bread? Baa-guette!
Why was the Kiwi always so calm? He had a natural talent for “sheep zen”!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite part of a song? The “ewe-nison”!
Why did the Kiwi bring a spoon to the beach? Because he heard there would be “sand-witches”!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite sport other than rugby? Baa-dminton!
Why did the Kiwi bring a ladder to the concert? Because he wanted to get a “baa-lcony” seat!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite way to relax? Sheep counting and “wool” gathering!
Why did the Kiwi go to the baseball game with a sheep? He heard it was going to be a “batter’s flock”!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite social media platform? Flockbook!
Why did the Kiwi become a tailor? Because he had a talent for stitching things together!
What do you call a Kiwi with a snorkel? Sheep diver!
Why was the Kiwi always so good at math? He had a natural talent for “fleecing” numbers!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite superhero? The Wool-verine!
Why did the Kiwi go to the bar with a sheep? Because he heard there would be plenty of “ram” around!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite dance move? The sheep shuffle!
Why did the Kiwi become a banker? Because he wanted to keep track of his “fleecy” assets!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of coffee? Flat white, just like their clouds!
Why did the Kiwi bring a ladder to the beach? Because he heard the waves were “high”!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite way to stay warm in winter? With a cozy fleece!

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Hilarious New Zealand Jokes

Why did the Kiwi become a comedian? Because he had a knack for pulling the wool over people’s eyes!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite dessert topping? Wool whip!
Why did the Kiwi go to the party with a sheep? He heard there would be a “fleece market”!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of boat? A sheep schooner!
Why did the Kiwi bring a ladder to the golf course? Because he heard there were birdies up there!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of sandwich? Lamb-burgers!
Why did the Kiwi become a gardener? Because he wanted to grow his own wool!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of exercise? Sheep aerobics!
Why did the Kiwi bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he heard the film was “climb-tastic”!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of pizza? Sheep and cheese!
Why did the Kiwi bring a map to the bar? Because he wanted to find the baa!
What do you call a Kiwi who’s also a chef? A master of lamb-chops!
Why was the Kiwi’s phone always low on battery? Because it kept searching for ewe networks!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite subject? “Sheep counting, it’s ewenicorn!”
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the movies? Because he heard it was a baa-rgain matinee!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite hobby? Shear delight!
Why did the Kiwi become a musician? Because he wanted to play the ewekulele!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite music genre? “I’m into fleece jazz!”
Why did the Kiwi open a bakery? Because he kneaded the dough!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite dance move? The woolly shuffle!
Why did the Kiwi go to the pet store? To buy some ewe-nique companionship!
What do you call a Kiwi detective? Sherlock Baa-nes!
Why did the Kiwi become a comedian? Because he had a knack for eweproarious laughter!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of art? Wool painting!
Why did the Kiwi go to the airport with a suitcase full of wool? He wanted to fleece the scene!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite TV show? “I love watching shear brilliance!”
Why did the Kiwi become a referee? Because he had a good eye for the try line!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite sport besides rugby? Ewe-lf!
Why did the Kiwi start a gardening business? Because he had a natural affinity for grass!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite superhero? “Superman? Nah, I’m all about Captain Eweniverse!”
Why did the Kiwi go to the gym? To work on his bice-baas!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of candy? Sheepishly good!
Why did the Kiwi become a sailor? Because he wanted to explore the ewencharted seas!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite board game? Flock and Roll!
Why did the Kiwi become a tailor? Because he had a talent for making wool suits!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite season? “Spring, because that’s when the sheep get their fleece back!”
Why did the Kiwi become a photographer? Because he had a knack for capturing ewe-nique moments!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite social media platform? Sheeptagram!
Why did the Kiwi go to the party with a sheep? Because he heard it was a baa-sh!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite fruit? “Kiwi, of course! It’s ewe-licious!”
Why did the Kiwi bring a ladder to the beach? Because he heard the waves were ewe-normous!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite mode of transportation? The baa-cycle!
Why did the Kiwi become a mathematician? Because he loved counting sheep!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite fairy tale? “The Woolf and the Seven Sheep!”
Why did the Kiwi become a lifeguard? Because he was a ewe-nited States swimming champion!

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Funny New Zealand Jokes

What’s a Kiwi’s favorite ice cream flavor? Minty Sheep Swirl!
Why did the Kiwi become a pilot? Because he wanted to fly ewe-nique routes!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite exercise? “Sheep jumping! It’s ewenergizing!”
Why did the Kiwi go to the comedy club with a sheep? Because he heard the jokes were baa-rilliant!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of book? Ewe-topian novels!
Why did the Kiwi become a chef? Because he knew how to make a mean baa-tizer!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite holiday? “Ewe Year’s Eve, of course!”
Why did the Kiwi become a teacher? Because he had a passion for ewe-dacating others!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of sandwich? Shear delight on rye!
Why did the Kiwi go to the zoo with a sheep? Because he wanted to show it a baa-rilliant time!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite constellation? “The Fleece of the Sheep, it’s out of this world!”
Why did the Kiwi become a fashion designer? Because he knew how to make wool look ewe-nique!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite type of weather? Fleecey clouds with a chance of shear brilliance!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the art gallery? Because he wanted it to appreciate ewe-nique masterpieces!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite game show? “The Wheel of Fortune – Wool Edition!”
Why did the Kiwi take his sheep to the cinema? Because it was a baa-gain movie night!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep when it lost its wool? “Don’t worry, I’ll always love ewe!”
Why did the Kiwi become a farmer? Because he had a natural talent for ewe-griculture!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite way to relax? With some ewe-nwind time!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the dance? Because he heard it had baa-rhythm!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to join the band? “Sorry, we’re looking for someone with more baa-ss!”
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the concert? Because it wanted to baa-rock!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite mode of transportation? The baa-sicle!
Why did the Kiwi start a wool business? Because he wanted to make baa-nk!
What did the Kiwi say when asked about his favorite dance move? “The shear drop!”
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the party? Because it knew how to baa-lly dance!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite bedtime story? “The Woolf in Sheep’s Clothing”!
Why did the Kiwi become a musician? Because he knew how to hit the baa-t!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite sport to watch? EweFC!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the gym? Because it wanted to pump some baa-ron!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a comedian? “Try some baa-dum tss humor!”
Why did the Kiwi become a shepherd? Because he wanted to be the baa-ss of his own flock!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite holiday tradition? The baa-humbug!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the beach? Because it wanted to catch some baa-rrels!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to join the circus? “Break a baa-lance!”
Why did the Kiwi become a chef? Because he knew how to whip up a mean baa-nana bread!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite board game? Eweno!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the park? Because it wanted to play baa-dminton!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a model? “Work that baa-catwalk!”
Why did the Kiwi become a hairdresser? Because he was an expert at baa-rbering!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite fruit? Ewe-berry!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the library? Because it wanted to baa-rrow some books!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a singer? “Sing your baa-harmony!”
Why did the Kiwi become a magician? Because he knew how to pull a baa-nny out of a hat!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite superhero? Sheepman!

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Best New Zealand Jokes

Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the restaurant? Because it heard they had baa-ck ribs!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a pilot? “Fly high and baa-rave!”
Why did the Kiwi become a detective? Because he had a nose for baa-d guys!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite game at the fair? Baa-lloon darts!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the museum? Because it wanted to see some baa-roque art!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a doctor? “Heal with baa-tience!”
Why did the Kiwi become a tailor? Because he knew how to make a baa-suit!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite candy? Baa-nana split!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the concert? Because it wanted to hear some baa-rock music!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a teacher? “Educate with baa-sdom!”
Why did the Kiwi become an artist? Because he knew how to paint baa-eautiful landscapes!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite game to play with a sheep? Baa-dminton!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the birthday party? Because it knew how to baa-lloon animals!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a chef? “Cook with baa-sil!”
Why did the Kiwi become a scientist? Because he wanted to unlock the secrets of baa-logy!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite game show? Baa-nker’s Deal!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the comedy club? Because it wanted to hear some baa-dum tss jokes!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a dancer? “Dance with baa-llet!”
Why did the Kiwi become a writer? Because he had a knack for penning baa-llads!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite dessert? Baa-nana split with extra wooly cream!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the talent show? Because it had a knack for baa-lancing acts!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be an actor? “Break a leg and baa-bravo!”
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the spa? Because it needed some baa-lancing relaxation!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite movie genre? Baa-rilliant comedies!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the art class? Because it was a master at baa-sic painting!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a poet? “Express yourself with baa-eautiful words!”
Why did the Kiwi become a firefighter? Because he was ready to put out baa-zes!
What’s a Kiwi’s favorite exercise equipment? The baa-rrbell!
Why did the Kiwi bring a sheep to the concert? Because it wanted to join the baa-nd!
What did the Kiwi say to the sheep who wanted to be a scientist? “Experiment with baa-rilliance!”

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Jokes About Language

Jokes About Scotland

Conclusion

From sheep-related puns to clever nods at Kiwi culture, these jokes showcase the unique humor found in New Zealand.

Whether you’re a local or just an admirer of Kiwi wit, these one-liners are sure to bring a smile to your face.

FAQs

What are some common themes in New Zealand jokes?

Sheep, rugby, the Maori culture, and the rivalry with Australia are often featured in New Zealand humor.

Do New Zealanders enjoy self-deprecating humor?

Yes, Kiwis are known for their good-natured ability to laugh at themselves and their culture.