87+ Napoleon Bonaparte Jokes: Conquer Your Funny Bone

Introduction

Napoleon Bonaparte, the legendary French military leader and emperor, may have left his mark on history, but he’s also inspired plenty of jokes and humorous anecdotes. 

Let’s explore a selection of Napoleon one-liners and puns that pay homage to the Little Corporal himself.

Read More: Jokes About French Military Victory

Napoleon Jokes

1. Why did Napoleon get invited to all the parties? Because he knew how to “conquer” the dance floor!
2. What did Napoleon say when he lost his favorite pen? “It’s my Waterloo!”
3. Why did Napoleon go to therapy? Because he had a complex… Napoleon complex!
4. Did you hear about Napoleon’s favorite dessert? Shortbread, of course!
5. Why did Napoleon become a baker? He wanted to rise to the occasion… and knead the dough!
6. What did Napoleon say when asked if he believed in ghosts? “I’m not afraid of spirits… I’m Emperor!”
7. Why did Napoleon visit the eye doctor? He was having trouble with his “corps de vision”!
8. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his hat? “I’ve met my match!”
9. Why was Napoleon always calm during battles? He had a “piece of mind”… a piece of the battlefield!
10. Why did Napoleon take up gardening? He wanted to conquer the land… one flower bed at a time!
11. What did Napoleon say when he saw the size of his opponent’s army? “That’s a little corps!”
12. Why did Napoleon become a chef? He wanted to rule the kitchen with an iron skillet!
13. What did Napoleon say when he won a game of chess? “Checkmate… or should I say, ‘checque’ mate?”
14. Why was Napoleon always invited to movie nights? Because he knew how to “conquer” the popcorn!
15. What did Napoleon say when asked about his favorite type of bread? “I’m a fan of ‘loaf’ and war!”
16. Why did Napoleon bring a ladder to the battlefield? Because he wanted to reach new heights… of victory!
17. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his socks? “I’ve been defeeted!”
18. Why did Napoleon invest in a telescope? He wanted to keep an eye on his “enemies on the horizon”!
19. What did Napoleon say when asked about his favorite fruit? “I’m quite fond of ‘plums’ of victory!”
20. Why did Napoleon become a poet? He had a way with words… and conquest!
21. What did Napoleon say when his troops complained about the food? “You’ll eat what I say… or face the ‘conséquences’!”
22. Why did Napoleon take up painting? He wanted to brush up on his artistic skills… and conquer the canvas!
23. What did Napoleon say when asked about his favorite type of cheese? “I’m quite fondue of Brie-lliance!”
24. Why did Napoleon bring a map to the party? He wanted to make sure he could “navigate” the conversation!
25. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his favorite horse? “Looks like I’m hoofing it!”
26. Why did Napoleon become a musician? He knew how to orchestrate victory… and the occasional symphony!
27. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his keys? “I seem to have met my ‘lock’!”
28. Why did Napoleon start a cooking show? He knew how to whip up a “recipe for conquest”!
29. What did Napoleon say when he ran out of ink? “I’ve been ‘penalized’!”
30. Why did Napoleon become a tailor? He wanted to rule with a stitch in time!
31. What did Napoleon say when he lost his favorite hat? “I’ve met my match!”
32. Why did Napoleon become a comedian? He had a talent for delivering punch lines… and punches!
33. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his glasses? “I’ve been blinded by my own ambition!”
34. Why did Napoleon start a bakery? He wanted to conquer the dough… and the hearts of pastry lovers!
35. What did Napoleon say when asked about his favorite type of bread? “I’m quite fond of a ‘croissant’ of victory!”
36. Why did Napoleon bring a compass to the party? He wanted to navigate through social circles!
37. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his gloves? “Looks like I’ve been disarmed!”
38. Why did Napoleon become a musician? He wanted to orchestrate harmony… and conquer the symphony!
39. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his socks? “I’ve been defeated from toe to toe!”
40. Why did Napoleon start a gardening club? He wanted to cultivate victory… one flower bed at a time!
41. What did Napoleon say when he lost his pen? “It seems I’ve run out of ink… and ideas!”
42. Why did Napoleon become a sculptor? He had a knack for chiseling away at his enemies… and marble!
43. Why did Napoleon become a teacher? He wanted to school his enemies… and his troops!
44. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his horse? “Looks like I’ll have to hoof it!”
45. Why did Napoleon start a theater troupe? He wanted to conquer the stage… and the spotlight!

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Best Napoleon Jokes

46. What did Napoleon say when asked about his favorite type of wine? “I prefer my victories aged!”
47. Why did Napoleon bring a telescope to the ball? He wanted to keep an eye on his opponents… and the dance floor!
48. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his sword? “I’ve been disarmed… again!”
49. Why did Napoleon become a poet? He had a way with words… and world domination!
50. What did Napoleon say when he lost his hat? “Looks like I’ve been crowned!”
51. Why did Napoleon start a fitness club? He wanted to lead by example… and conquer push-ups!
52. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his crown? “I’ve been dethroned!”
53. Why did Napoleon become a meteorologist? He wanted to forecast victory… and conquer the weather!
54. What did Napoleon say when he lost his watch? “I’ve run out of time!”
55. Why did Napoleon start a debate club? He wanted to argue his way to victory… and conquer opinions!
56. What did Napoleon say when asked about his favorite type of dessert? “I’m quite fondue of victory cheesecake!”
57. Why did Napoleon become a painter? He wanted to brush up on his artistic skills… and conquer the canvas!
58. What did Napoleon say when he couldn’t find his gloves? “I’ve been disarmed from fingertip to fingertip!”
59. Why did Napoleon become a vintner? He wanted to bottle up success… and conquer palates!
60. What did Napoleon say when he misplaced his compass? “Seems I’ve lost my sense of direction!”
61. Why did Napoleon establish a dance academy? He aimed to master the art of conquering the dance floor!
62. Why did Napoleon take up cooking? He aimed to whip up culinary triumphs… and conquer taste buds!
63. What did Napoleon utter when he couldn’t find his umbrella? “Looks like I’ll have to weather this storm!”
64. Why did Napoleon pursue winemaking? He sought to bottle success… and conquer palates!
65. What did Napoleon say when he lost his map? “I’m directionally challenged!”
66. Why did Napoleon become a tutor? He aimed to school his foes… and his troops!
67. What did Napoleon quip when he misplaced his horse? “Looks like I’ll have to hoof it!”
68. Why did Napoleon venture into theater? He sought to conquer the stage… and the spotlight!
69. What did Napoleon say about his preferred wine? “I prefer my triumphs aged!”
70. Why did Napoleon carry a telescope to the ball? He wanted to keep an eye on his rivals… and the dance floor!
71. What did Napoleon mutter upon misplacing his sword? “Disarmed… again!”
72. Why did Napoleon dabble in poetry? He had a flair for words… and conquering hearts!
73. What did Napoleon exclaim upon losing his hat? “Looks like I’ve been crowned!”
74. What did Napoleon say upon misplacing his crown? “I’ve been dethroned!”
75. Why did Napoleon become a weather forecaster? He aimed to predict victory… and conquer the elements!
76. Why did Napoleon pursue viticulture? He sought to bottle triumph… and conquer palates!
77. What did Napoleon say when he lost his bearings? “I seem to have lost my sense of direction!”
78. Why did Napoleon open a dance studio? He wanted to master the art of dominating the dance floor!
79. Why did Napoleon delve into culinary arts? He aimed to whip up culinary conquests… and delight taste buds!
80. What did Napoleon remark when he couldn’t find his umbrella? “Looks like I’ll have to weather this storm!”
81. Why did Napoleon engage in winemaking? He sought to bottle up success… and conquer palates!
82. What did Napoleon say upon misplacing his map? “I’m directionally challenged!”
83. Why did Napoleon become an educator? He aimed to school his adversaries… and his troops!
84. What did Napoleon quip upon losing his steed? “Looks like I’ll have to hoof it!”
85. Why did Napoleon immerse himself in theater? He aimed to dominate the stage… and the limelight!
86. What did Napoleon opine about his preferred wine? “I prefer my victories aged!”
87. Why did Napoleon bring a spyglass to the soirée? He wanted to keep tabs on his foes… and the dance floor!
88. What did Napoleon say when he misplaced his hat? “Looks like I’ve been crowned!”
89. Why did Napoleon establish a gym? He aimed to lead by example… and conquer push-ups!
90. Why did Napoleon start a fashion line? He wanted to conquer the runway… and style!

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Conclusion

Napoleon Bonaparte may have been a formidable military leader, but even he can’t resist a good joke. These humorous quips offer a playful glimpse into the lighter side of history.

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