57+ Funny Marriage Speech Jokes to Lighten Up the Atmosphere

Introduction

A marriage speech is a special moment to celebrate the love and joy of the couple, but it doesn’t have to be all serious. 

Injecting some humor into your speech can lighten the mood and keep the audience engaged. Here are some hilarious jokes perfect for adding a touch of laughter to your marriage speech.

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Marriage Speech Jokes

1. Why did the best man bring a ladder to the wedding? To give the groom a leg up on marriage!
2. What’s the difference between a marriage and a tornado? Nothing, they both start with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end, you lose your house.
3. Why did the bride run away from the wedding cake? She was afraid it might be a little too tiering!
4. What’s the secret to a happy marriage? Two TVs!
5. Why did the groom bring his dog to the wedding? He heard it was a howling success!
6. Why did the bride bring her phone to the altar? In case she needed to swipe left!
7. Why did the groom wear a tuxedo on his wedding day? Because it was a formal affair!
8. What’s the best marriage advice for the groom? Remember, happy wife, happy life, and if she’s not happy, buy her shoes!
9. Why did the best man wear sunglasses during his speech? Because love is blind!
10. What’s the one thing a bride should never forget on her wedding day? The groom!
11. Why did the bride throw the bouquet backward? She wanted to see who would really be the next to get married!
12. What’s the groom’s favorite type of music? Wedding march!
13. Why did the bride refuse to dance? She didn’t want to put her foot in her mouth!
14. What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener!
15. Why did the groom bring his fishing gear to the wedding? In case he wanted to reel in a good catch!
16. What did the groom say when he forgot his wedding vows? “I do… promise to remember them next time!”
17. Why did the bride bring a ladder to the wedding? She heard marriage is all about reaching new heights!
18. What’s the groom’s favorite kind of food? Wedding cake, of course!
19. Why did the bride wear white? Because it’s the color of surrender!
20. What’s the best marriage advice for the bride? If you want your husband to listen, talk to another woman!
21. Why did the bride bring her GPS to the wedding? In case she wanted to track down her single friends!
22. What did the groom say when he saw his bride walking down the aisle? “Wow, I definitely out-kicked my coverage!”
23. Why did the bride bring her own microphone to the wedding? She didn’t want anyone stealing her spotlight!
24. What’s the groom’s favorite flower? Forget-me-nots!
25. Why did the groom invite his ex-girlfriends to the wedding? To show them what they were missing out on!
26. What did the best man say to the groom before the wedding? “Don’t worry, she can’t change her mind now!”
27. Why did the bride wear heels on her wedding day? Because she wanted to be head and shoulders above the rest!
28. What’s the groom’s favorite part of the wedding ceremony? The “I do” part, because it means he can finally stop sweating!
29. Why did the bride bring her checkbook to the wedding? In case she needed to write a deposit for the open bar!
30. What’s the best marriage advice for the couple? Always remember to say “I love you,” even when you’re both asleep!

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Humorous Marriage Speech Jokes

31. Why did the groom have a stopwatch during the ceremony? To see if the bride would beat her own record for getting ready!
32. What did the bride say to the groom when he forgot the ring? “Don’t worry, I’ll wear the pants in this relationship!”
33. Why did the bride wear a veil? To hide her tears of joy… or fear!
34. What’s the groom’s favorite type of transportation? The love boat!
35. Why did the bride bring her passport to the wedding? In case she needed to make a quick getaway!
36. What’s the groom’s favorite thing about marriage? He only has to remember one anniversary!
37. Why did the groom have a map during the vows? To see if he could find a way out!
38. What did the groom say when asked if he was nervous? “No, I’m just rehearsing for my poker face!”
39. Why did the bride wear a tiara? Because she’s the queen of his heart!
40. What’s the best marriage advice for the couple? Remember, marriage is like a deck of cards – it starts with a diamond and ends with a club!
41. Why did the groom bring his wallet to the wedding? In case he needed to pay for his mistakes!
42. What did the bride say when the groom asked her to dance? “Sure, as long as you don’t step on my dress!”
43. Why did the groom have a cheat sheet during his vows? In case he forgot the most important part – “I do!”
44. What’s the bride’s favorite type of music? Wedding bells!
45. Why did the groom bring a spare suit to the wedding? In case he got cold feet!
46. What did the groom say when asked if he believed in love at first sight? “Of course, that’s why I’m marrying her!”
47. Why did the bride bring her own microphone to the wedding? She didn’t want anyone to miss out on her singing!
48. What’s the best marriage advice for the couple? Remember, marriage is all about compromise – she admits she’s wrong, and he admits she’s right!
49. Why did the groom bring his golf clubs to the wedding? In case he needed to practice his swing before saying “I do!”
50. What did the bride say when asked if she believed in happily ever after? “Of course, that’s why I’m marrying my prince charming!”
51. Why did the groom bring a toothbrush to the wedding? To clean up his act before saying “I do”!
52. What’s the groom’s favorite type of movie? Rom-coms, because he loves a good “happily ever after”!
53. Why did the bride bring her own spotlight to the wedding? She wanted to make sure all eyes were on her!
54. What’s the best marriage advice for the newlyweds? Remember, marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops!
55. Why did the groom have a notepad during the ceremony? To jot down all the reasons he loves his bride before he forgets!
56. What did the bride say when asked about her honeymoon plans? “We’re going wherever the wind takes us… or wherever his credit card can afford!”
57. Why did the groom bring a compass to the wedding? To make sure he’s always heading in the right direction – towards his bride!
58. What’s the bride’s favorite type of dessert? Wedding cake, of course – it’s sweet like love!
59. Why did the best man bring a stopwatch to the wedding? To time how long the groom’s speech lasts before he starts rambling about his favorite sports team!
60. What’s the groom’s favorite kind of dance? The “married shuffle” – one step forward, two steps back!

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Conclusion

Adding humor to your marriage speech can turn an ordinary toast into a memorable moment for everyone involved. 

These jokes are sure to keep the laughter flowing and create a joyful atmosphere for the newlyweds and guests alike.