Laughing Through Love: 97+ Marriage Advice Jokes

Introduction

Marriage is a beautiful journey filled with love, laughter, and a little bit of marital advice along the way. 

Let’s take a lighthearted look at some humorous jokes about marriage advice that’ll surely tickle your funny bone.

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Marriage Advice Jokes

1. Why did the marriage counselor bring a ladder to work? To help couples reach a compromise!
2. What’s the best marriage advice for newlyweds? Remember, marriage is all about finding someone to annoy for the rest of your life.
3. Why did the husband bring a map to bed? He heard his wife likes to go on treasure hunts for things he didn’t know he misplaced.
4. What’s the key to a successful marriage? Learning to say “Yes, dear” without actually meaning it.
5. Why did the wife refuse to share her husband’s secrets? Because they’re her best material for future arguments!
6. What’s the difference between marriage advice and a tornado? Nothing, they both start with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end, someone loses a trailer.
7. Why did the husband buy his wife a helmet for their anniversary? To protect her from the rollercoaster of emotions that is marriage.
8. What’s the best marriage advice for men? If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
9. Why did the wife hide her husband’s phone charger? To prove to him that he can survive without being constantly charged.
10. What’s the most important piece of marriage advice? Always keep the bedroom windows closed unless you want your neighbors to get free marriage counseling.
11. Why did the husband buy his wife a mood ring? So he could tell if it was a good time to ask for permission.
12. What’s the golden rule of marriage advice? Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
13. Why did the wife buy her husband a leash? To make sure he doesn’t stray too far from her sight during their shopping trips.
14. What’s the best piece of marriage advice for saving money? Remember, two can live as cheaply as one if one of them doesn’t eat.
15. Why did the husband install a soundproof room in their house? To give his wife a place to calm down without him hearing her complaints.
16. What’s the best marriage advice for a happy life? Always remember to say “I love you” when handing over the remote control.
17. Why did the wife buy her husband a DIY book for their anniversary? To encourage him to fix things around the house before she loses her patience.
18. What’s the best marriage advice for resolving arguments? Remember, the silent treatment only works if your spouse notices.
19. Why did the wife hide the TV remote? To prove to her husband that she’s perfectly capable of making all the decisions in the house.
20. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Never go to bed angry, stay up and argue all night.
21. Why did the husband buy his wife a vacuum cleaner for her birthday? To remind her that even though it sucks sometimes, he still loves her.
22. What’s the best marriage advice for keeping the romance alive? Schedule regular date nights and make sure they’re within walking distance of an emergency exit.
23. Why did the husband buy his wife a gym membership? To subtly suggest that she should work on her temper.
24. What’s the most important piece of marriage advice for husbands? If your wife says she’ll be ready in 5 minutes, just assume you have time for a nap.
25. Why did the wife buy her husband a GPS tracker? So she could keep tabs on his whereabouts and his excuses.
26. What’s the best marriage advice for avoiding arguments? Never start a sentence with “You always…” unless you’re prepared to dodge flying objects.
27. Why did the husband start a garden? To give his wife something to be mad at that doesn’t talk back.
28. What’s the best marriage advice for spouses with different interests? Remember, opposites attract, but they also argue about what to watch on TV.
29. Why did the husband buy his wife a self-help book? To gently suggest that she needs more help than he can provide.
30. What’s the key to a happy marriage? Laughing together, especially when your spouse is wrong.
31. Why did the wife buy her husband a cookbook for beginners? To subtly suggest that he should start helping out in the kitchen.
32. What’s the best marriage advice for dealing with in-laws? Remember, the key to a successful marriage is making sure your in-laws live far enough away.
33. Why did the husband install a panic room in their house? To give his wife a safe space to calm down after he forgets their anniversary.
34. What’s the most important marriage advice for husbands? Remember, happy wife, happy life. It’s not just a saying, it’s a survival strategy.
35. Why did the wife start a savings account in her husband’s name? To prepare for all the surprise gifts she’s going to buy herself.
36. What’s the best marriage advice for avoiding arguments? Always remember to lower your expectations, especially on your spouse’s birthday.
37. Why did the husband buy his wife a personal trainer for their anniversary? To subtly suggest that she should work on her patience.
38. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Never stop saying “I love you,” even when you’re arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes.
39. Why did the wife buy her husband a planner for his birthday? To gently suggest that he needs to start remembering important dates.
40. What’s the best marriage advice for couples with kids? Remember, you’re a team. When one of you can’t handle it anymore, tag in the other.

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Best Marriage Advice Jokes

41. Why did the husband buy his wife a meditation app subscription? To gently suggest that she needs to work on her zen.
42. What’s the most important piece of marriage advice for wives? Never let your husband know how much you actually remember about the arguments you had 10 years ago.
43. Why did the wife start a Pinterest board for her husband’s birthday? To give him some ideas for gifts that aren’t socks or ties.
44. What’s the best marriage advice for celebrating anniversaries? Remember, it’s not the gift that matters, it’s the guilt trip you can use it for later.
45. Why did the husband buy his wife a puzzle for their anniversary? To subtly suggest that she should spend more time trying to figure him out.
46. What’s the key to a successful marriage? Being able to laugh together, especially when your spouse is wearing socks with sandals.
47. Why did the wife buy her husband a beginner’s guide to mindfulness? To gently suggest that he needs to start living in the present moment, especially when she’s talking.
48. What’s the best marriage advice for avoiding arguments? Remember, it’s not about winning, it’s about making sure your spouse knows you’re right.
49. Why did the husband buy his wife a planner for their anniversary? To subtly suggest that she should start planning their vacations in advance.
50. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Always remember to say “I’m sorry,” even when you’re not quite sure what you did wrong.
51. Why did the husband buy his wife a telescope for their anniversary? To remind her that sometimes it’s good to take a step back and see the bigger picture of their love.
52. What’s the best marriage advice for remembering birthdays? Always have a backup plan and a ready excuse for why you didn’t forget.
53. Why did the wife buy her husband a gym membership for his birthday? To subtly suggest that he should work on lifting his share of household chores.
54. What’s the key to a successful marriage? Learning to compromise, especially when it comes to choosing toppings on pizza night.
55. Why did the husband buy his wife a travel guide for their anniversary? To encourage her to plan their next adventure together and remind her that their journey is just beginning.
56. What’s the best marriage advice for surviving the in-laws? Remember, it’s not about winning their approval, it’s about making sure they don’t know where you live.
57. Why did the wife buy her husband a subscription to a cooking class? To subtly suggest that he should start taking over dinner duty once in a while.
58. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Always give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, especially when it comes to blaming them for things they probably didn’t do.
59. Why did the husband buy his wife a hammock for their anniversary? To give her a cozy spot to relax and unwind after a long day of putting up with him.
60. What’s the best marriage advice for handling disagreements? Remember, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about who can apologize first and mean it the least.
61. Why did the wife buy her husband a set of noise-canceling headphones? To give him a subtle hint that sometimes it’s best to tune her out.
62. What’s the most important piece of marriage advice for husbands? Never forget to praise your wife’s cooking, even when you’re not quite sure what you’re eating.
63. Why did the husband buy his wife a telescope for their anniversary? To remind her that their love is as vast and endless as the universe.
64. What’s the best marriage advice for sharing household chores? Remember, a successful marriage is all about finding creative ways to avoid doing the dishes.
65. Why did the wife buy her husband a DIY toolkit for his birthday? To gently suggest that he should start fixing things around the house before she loses her patience.
66. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Learning to laugh at yourself, especially when your spouse is laughing at you.
67. Why did the husband buy his wife a spa day package for their anniversary? To give her a well-deserved break from being the most patient person in their relationship.
68. What’s the best marriage advice for keeping the romance alive? Remember, it’s not about grand gestures, it’s about finding joy in the little moments together, like arguing over who gets the last slice of cake.
69. Why did the wife buy her husband a journal for his birthday? To encourage him to write down all the things he forgets, like their anniversary.
70. What’s the key to a successful marriage? Always make time for date nights, even if it’s just a quick trip to the grocery store together.
71. Why did the husband buy his wife a plant for their anniversary? To remind her that their love is always growing and blossoming, just like the flowers in their garden.
72. What’s the best marriage advice for managing finances? Remember, it’s not about who makes more money, it’s about who can spend it the fastest.
73. Why did the wife buy her husband a puppy for his birthday? To give him a furry friend to keep him company during those times when she needs a break from his jokes.
74. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Learning to compromise, especially when it comes to deciding whose turn it is to take out the trash.
75. Why did the husband buy his wife a cookbook for their anniversary? To encourage her to explore new recipes and flavors together, and to remind her that their love is a delicious adventure.
76. What’s the best marriage advice for handling stress? Remember, it’s not about avoiding conflict, it’s about finding healthy ways to resolve it, like going for a long walk or pretending to listen.
77. Why did the wife buy her husband a massage chair for his birthday? To give him a subtle hint that sometimes it’s best to sit back and relax, especially when she’s driving.
78. What’s the key to a successful marriage? Learning to forgive and forget, especially when it comes to remembering whose turn it is to do the laundry.
79. Why did the husband buy his wife a painting for their anniversary? To remind her that their love is a masterpiece in progress, and that every brushstroke tells the story of their journey together.
80. What’s the best marriage advice for handling unexpected surprises? Remember, it’s not about who’s to blame, it’s about who can come up with the most creative excuse.

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Humorous Marriage Advice Jokes

81. Why did the wife buy her husband a book of jokes for his birthday? To encourage him to keep her laughing, even when she’s pretending not to find him funny.
82. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Learning to appreciate each other’s quirks, even when they’re driving you crazy.
83. Why did the husband buy his wife a gift card for their anniversary? To give her the freedom to choose whatever she wants, and to remind her that their love is built on trust and mutual respect.
84. What’s the best marriage advice for staying connected? Remember, it’s not about the quantity of time you spend together, it’s about the quality of the arguments you have.
85. Why did the wife buy her husband a puzzle for his birthday? To give him a fun challenge and to remind him that their love is a perfect fit.
86. What’s the key to a successful marriage? Learning to listen, even when you’re convinced you’re right and your spouse is wrong.
87. Why did the husband buy his wife a bouquet of flowers for their anniversary? To remind her that their love is like a garden, and that every bloom is a testament to their commitment.
88. What’s the best marriage advice for handling misunderstandings? Remember, it’s not about who’s at fault, it’s about finding common ground and moving forward together.
89. Why did the wife buy her husband a movie ticket for his birthday? To give him a night out with the boys and to remind him that their love is like a blockbuster hit.
90. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Learning to laugh at the little things, especially when you’re convinced they’re not funny.
91. Why did the husband buy his wife a cookbook for their anniversary? To encourage her to try new recipes and to remind her that their love is like a well-seasoned dish, full of flavor and depth.
92. What’s the best marriage advice for handling disagreements? Remember, it’s not about winning, it’s about finding a solution that makes both of you equally unhappy.
93. Why did the wife buy her husband a pair of noise-canceling headphones for his birthday? To give him some peace and quiet, and to remind him that their love is like a soothing melody.
94. What’s the key to a successful marriage? Learning to compromise, even when you’re convinced you’re right and your spouse is wrong.
95. Why did the husband buy his wife a journal for their anniversary? To encourage her to write down her thoughts and feelings, and to remind her that their love is like a story, with each page filled with new adventures.
96. What’s the best marriage advice for handling surprises? Remember, it’s not about the gift, it’s about the thought that counts, especially when you’re convinced your spouse forgot your birthday.
97. Why did the wife buy her husband a cookbook for his birthday? To encourage him to experiment in the kitchen, and to remind him that their love is like a recipe, with each ingredient adding its own unique flavor.
98. What’s the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Learning to appreciate the little things, even when you’re convinced they’re not worth fighting over.
99. Why did the husband buy his wife a plant for their anniversary? To remind her that their love is like a garden, with each flower representing a cherished memory.
100. What’s the best marriage advice for staying connected? Remember, it’s not about the grand gestures, it’s about the small moments that make you smile.

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Conclusion

Marriage is a journey filled with ups, downs, and plenty of laughter along the way. These marriage advice jokes remind us that sometimes the best way to navigate the twists and turns of married life is with a healthy dose of humor.