Introduction
Hipsters, with their unique style and love for all things ironic, have become a subject of endless humor.
If you’re ready to laugh and embrace the irony, we’ve gathered a collection of 157+ hilarious hipster jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone. Get ready for some offbeat, tongue-in-cheek humor as we explore the world of hipster comedy.
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Hipster Jokes
- Why did the hipster bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
- How do you know a hipster invented time travel? He’ll tell you he liked it before it was cool.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite type of music? Vintage.
- Why did the hipster refuse to play cards? Because he was afraid of the mainstream.
- How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It’s a really obscure number; you’ve probably never heard of it.
- What do you call a hipster who’s always in a hurry? Rush-hour.
- Why do hipsters only drink iced coffee? Because hot coffee is too mainstream.
- How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool.
- Why did the hipster refuse to take the elevator? He wanted to take the stairs, but even that was too mainstream.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite form of math? “I don’t do numbers; they’re too square.”
- Why was the hipster late for work? His alarm clock was too mainstream; he couldn’t hear it.
- What do you call a hipster vampire? A cryptster.
- How did the hipster find his way in the dark? He followed the moon’s underground tour.
- Why did the hipster bring a ladder to the concert? He wanted to get closer to the underground band.
- Why did the hipster break up with his smartphone? It was becoming too popular.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite book? One that hasn’t been written yet.
- Why did the hipster only eat organic food? Because he couldn’t digest anything mainstream.
- How does a hipster solve a puzzle? He waits for it to become too mainstream and then abandons it.
- What did the hipster say when asked if he was religious? “I worship vinyl records.”
- How does a hipster make a decision? He flips a vintage coin.
- Why did the hipster go to art school? He heard it was the ultimate way to master the brushstroke of non-conformity.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite element? Irony, of course.
- Why did the hipster refuse to go to the zoo? Because he believed in letting the animals roam freely.
- How does a hipster brew their coffee? With non-mainstream beans and filtered water from an undisclosed location.
- Why did the hipster refuse to get a regular job? He said working 9 to 5 was too mainstream.
- Why did the hipster bring a plant to the party? Because he wanted to create some atmosphere.
- How does a hipster organize a space party? He just planet.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite part of a newspaper? The obituary section; it’s so underground.
- Why don’t hipsters swim in the ocean? They don’t want to be seen in mainstream schools.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use email? Because real communication comes from the heart, or at least handwritten letters.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite dance move? The “ironic shuffle.”
- How did the hipster break up with their significant other? With an old-fashioned typewritten breakup letter.
- Why did the hipster bring a ladder to the library? To check out the highbrow literature.
- How does a hipster order coffee at a cafe? They request a “half-caf, soy, no foam, extra hot, non-GMO, ethically sourced, artisanal latte.”
- What’s a hipster’s favorite mode of transportation? A unicycle; it’s just one wheel away from being obscure.
- Why did the hipster refuse to go to the comedy club? Because he believed laughter was too mainstream.
- How does a hipster watch a movie? In black and white, with subtitles, on VHS.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite type of pet? A ferret because it’s the most non-conforming pet.
- Why did the hipster open a record store? He wanted to make sure vinyl didn’t go extinct.
- How did the hipster get a job in a sawmill? He was the only one who could operate a chainsaw ironically.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite form of currency? Indiependence.
- Why did the hipster become a gardener? He wanted to grow his own obscure herbs.
- How does a hipster fix a computer? He calls it “vintage tech support.”
- Why did the hipster bring a backpack to the restaurant? In case he found any locally-sourced leftovers.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite board game? A handmade, artisanal version of Monopoly.
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Funny Hipster One-Liners
- Why did the hipster refuse to buy a car? Because they preferred to travel by fixed-gear bicycle.
- How does a hipster answer the phone? With an ironic ringtone that you’ve probably never heard of.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite holiday destination? A remote cabin with no Wi-Fi.
- Why did the hipster refuse to wear sunglasses? He wanted to experience the world in its raw, unfiltered glory.
- How does a hipster celebrate Halloween? By dressing up as something mainstream, like a vampire or a zombie, and calling it “ironic horror.”
- Why did the hipster become a barista? Because he wanted to express himself through latte art.
- How does a hipster prepare a sandwich? With organic, locally sourced, artisanal ingredients, of course.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite type of yoga? Vintage yoga – it’s all about rediscovering ancient poses.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use a GPS? Because he preferred to navigate using his inner sense of direction.
- How does a hipster write a novel? With a vintage typewriter and a mug of fair-trade chai tea.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite kind of sushi? Free-range, sustainable, organic sushi, served on recycled bamboo plates.
- Why did the hipster refuse to go to the beach? Because he didn’t want to conform to the surf culture.
- How does a hipster mow the lawn? With a manual push mower, of course – gas-powered is too mainstream.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite art medium? Making sculptures out of reclaimed materials.
- Why did the hipster refuse to watch TV? Because it was too commercial; he preferred independent films.
- How does a hipster fix a broken window? With a vintage window frame and repurposed glass.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite type of cereal? Gluten-free, vegan, non-GMO, organic cereal with almond milk.
- Why did the hipster refuse to attend the carnival? Because cotton candy is too mainstream; he wanted organic kale chips.
- How does a hipster decorate for the holidays? With handcrafted, upcycled, eco-friendly ornaments.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite form of exercise? Riding a retro-styled, single-speed bicycle.
- Why did the hipster refuse to buy a new phone? Because he was waiting for a vintage rotary phone to come back in style.
- How does a hipster organize their music collection? On a meticulously curated vinyl record shelf.
- What’s a hipster’s preferred mode of communication? Sending telegrams, just because it’s delightfully old-fashioned.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use social media? Because he believed in real-world connections, not digital ones.
- How does a hipster enjoy a burger? With locally sourced, grass-fed, vegan patty, of course.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite way to exercise creativity? Through latte foam artistry.
- Why did the hipster refuse to go to the art gallery? Because he considered the world his canvas.
- How does a hipster celebrate their birthday? With a homemade, gluten-free, vegan cake.
- What’s a hipster’s preferred reading material? Ancient scrolls and parchment, of course.
- Why did the hipster refuse to watch sports? Because it’s all too mainstream; he’d rather watch obscure documentaries.
- Why did the hipster refuse to buy a clock? Because he didn’t want to be a slave to “mainstream” time.
- How does a hipster pay for things? With vintage, limited edition, locally minted coins.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite dessert? A gluten-free, organic, fair-trade, avocado-based chocolate mousse.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use emojis? Because they’re just too “emoji”stream.
- How does a hipster attend a concert? They bring their own turntable and insist on spinning the vinyl themselves.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite type of pen? One that nobody’s heard of.
- Why did the hipster refuse to shop at the thrift store? Because it was becoming too popular.
- How does a hipster take notes in class? With a handcrafted, artisanal notebook made from recycled materials.
- What’s a hipster’s preferred mode of transportation in the rain? A penny-farthing with an eco-friendly, locally sourced, handwoven umbrella.
- Why did the hipster refuse to join a gym? Because lifting weights is just too mainstream; they prefer lifting vintage records.
- How does a hipster do laundry? By hand-washing clothes with all-natural, homemade detergent.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite computer? One that runs on irony.
- Why did the hipster refuse to get a haircut? He was waiting for the asymmetrical look to come back in style.
- How does a hipster communicate in Morse code? With vintage telegraph machines.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite method of self-expression? Creating abstract art with non-toxic, cruelty-free, vegan paint.
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Best Hipster Jokes
- Why did the hipster refuse to eat at the fusion restaurant? Because he couldn’t handle mixing cultures.
- How does a hipster carry groceries? In a reusable, hand-stitched, organic cotton tote bag.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite way to get news? From a mime in the park with a cardboard sign.
- Why did the hipster refuse to get a pet dog? Because cats are more enigmatic and less mainstream.
- How does a hipster play board games? With rulebooks that are so obscure, even the creator doesn’t understand them.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite weather? Cloudy with a chance of indie folk music.
- Why did the hipster refuse to go to the barber? He believed hair should grow freely like a forest.
- How does a hipster eat their cereal? With a vintage silver spoon and locally harvested almond milk.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite exercise routine? Yoga, but only in secret, underground locations.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use a backpack? It was too utilitarian; they preferred to carry their belongings in an antique leather satchel.
- Why did the hipster refuse to wear socks? Because toes deserve freedom, man.
- How does a hipster enjoy ice cream? In a mason jar, with a locally-sourced, organic, vegan, and gluten-free flavor.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite game console? An obscure, vintage one that you’ve probably never heard of.
- Why did the hipster become a philosopher? Because deep thoughts are so underground.
- How does a hipster deal with stress? With an artisanal, fair-trade, hand-carved stress ball.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite time of day? Golden hour, because the lighting is just right for vintage Polaroid photos.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use a public restroom? Because it’s too mainstream; he prefers the woods.
- How does a hipster go grocery shopping? With a handwoven, eco-friendly, organic cotton shopping basket.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite mode of exercise? Parkour, because it’s urban and obscure.
- Why did the hipster refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because it’s too conformist; he prefers “hide and go obscure.”
- How does a hipster fix a broken chair? With vintage materials and eco-friendly glue.
- What’s a hipster’s preferred method of navigation? A map made from recycled paper and a compass.
- Why did the hipster become a stand-up comedian? Because irony is funnier than jokes.
- How does a hipster drink water? From a mason jar, naturally.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite art medium? Painting with non-GMO, gluten-free, organic, cruelty-free, artisanal paint.
- Why did the hipster refuse to watch television? Because he found reality TV too real.
- How does a hipster answer the phone? With a rotary phone, of course.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite weather forecast? A vintage barometer.
- Why did the hipster refuse to go to the zoo? Because he believes in observing animals in their natural, unfiltered habitat.
- How does a hipster make a smoothie? With locally sourced, handpicked, organic fruit.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite type of beard oil? One you’ve never heard of.
- Why did the hipster refuse to play soccer? Because it’s a mainstream sport; he’d rather play sepak takraw.
- How does a hipster write poetry? With an antique quill and locally sourced ink.
- What’s a hipster’s preferred method of public speaking? On an open mic in a small underground coffee shop.
- Why did the hipster refuse to buy a TV? Because he gets all his information from interpretive dance.
- How does a hipster watch a movie? In an underground, homemade theater with hand-painted subtitles.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite type of flower? A non-genetically modified, heirloom, obscure variety.
- Why did the hipster become a lumberjack? Because it’s a woodsy way to express his love for trees.
- How does a hipster send mail? By carrier pigeon; it’s so much more authentic.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite form of currency? Vinyl records, of course.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use an elevator? Because taking the stairs is the more authentic way.
- How does a hipster write code? On a typewriter, then transcribes it to the computer.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite way to stay warm? Wearing an antique, hand-knit scarf.
- Why did the hipster refuse to get a dog? Because it’s too mainstream; they prefer pet rocks.
- How does a hipster take a selfie? With a vintage camera, then develops the film.
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Hipster Puns
- What’s a hipster’s favorite board game? “Obscurity Quest.”
- Why did the hipster refuse to play cards? Because cards are just too ordinary.
- How does a hipster shop for clothes? At a thrift shop that sells items from obscure movie sets.
- What’s a hipster’s preferred form of transportation in a blizzard? A vintage sled.
- Why did the hipster become a fisherman? Because catching your own food is the ultimate in sustainable dining.
- How does a hipster light their home? With artisanal, hand-poured, locally sourced candles.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite form of literature? Ancient, untranslated texts.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use a smartphone? Because flip phones are far more retro.
- How does a hipster enjoy a cup of tea? With a vintage porcelain teacup and a side of irony.
- What’s a hipster’s preferred way to spend a weekend? At a vintage arcade, playing obscure, out-of-production games.
- Why did the hipster refuse to attend the circus? Because animal acts are too mainstream; he’d rather see interpretive dance.
- How does a hipster groom their facial hair? With a locally made, handcrafted, small-batch beard balm.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite type of cheese? Obscure cheese you’ve probably never heard of.
- Why did the hipster refuse to wear a winter coat? Because vintage flannel shirts are warmer.
- How does a hipster start their day? With a fair-trade, locally roasted, pour-over coffee served in a vintage cup.
- Why did the hipster refuse to cross the road? Because the mainstream side was too crowded.
- How does a hipster make popcorn? In a locally crafted, hand-spun, artisanal, stovetop popper.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite winter activity? Ice skating on a pond, before it was cool.
- Why did the hipster refuse to use emojis? Because they’re so last year.
- How does a hipster celebrate a birthday? By throwing a “vintage era” costume party.
- What’s a hipster’s favorite planet? Pluto – it was a planet before it was cool not to be.
- Why did the hipster refuse to listen to podcasts? Because he only enjoys retro radio shows.
- How does a hipster carry their money? In a bespoke, hand-stitched, locally sourced leather wallet.
- What’s a hipster’s preferred form of exercise in the rain? Indoor hula hooping with ethically sourced hoops.
- Why did the hipster refuse to attend a poetry reading? Because he prefers to experience emotions ironically.
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Conclusion
There you have it, a handpicked selection of hipster jokes that highlight the quirky and ironic nature of hipster culture.
Whether you’re a hipster yourself or just love a good laugh, these jokes are bound to bring a smile to your face. Embrace the absurdity and humor that comes with all things hipster, and remember, it’s all in good fun.
