107+ Funny Graduation Speech Jokes: A Diploma in Laughter!

Introduction

Graduation speeches are often filled with inspiration and wisdom, but who says they can’t be funny too? Injecting humor into these speeches can lighten the mood and create memorable moments for graduates and attendees alike.

So, let’s embark on a comedic journey through the world of graduation speeches and celebrate this milestone with laughter!

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Graduation Speech Jokes

1. Why did the valedictorian bring a ladder to the graduation ceremony? To reach the highest level of success.
2. What did the graduate say to the speechwriter? “Can you make me sound smarter than I actually am?”
3. Why was the commencement speech so windy? Because it was full of hot air.
4. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of music? The graduation march, of course!
5. Why was the diploma sweating during the ceremony? It was under a lot of pressure.
6. What do you call a speech given by a procrastinator? Last-minute wisdom.
7. Why did the graduate bring a map to the ceremony? To navigate the road to success.
8. What did the commencement speaker say to the graduates? “You’re all outstanding in your own way… just like everyone else.”
9. Why did the graduation speech go viral? Because it had a lot of “likes” and “shares.”
10. What did the tassel say to the cap? “Hang in there, we’re almost done!”
11. Why was the graduation speech like a refrigerator? Because it was full of cool advice.
12. What do you call a commencement speech that’s too long? A never-ending story.
13. Why did the graduate bring a beach chair to the ceremony? To catch some “rays” of wisdom.
14. What did the commencement speaker say to the procrastinator? “Better late than never… but barely.”
15. What did the commencement speech say to the graduates? “You’re all ready to take on the world… after a nap.”
16. Why was the graduation speech so emotional? Because it was the final chapter of their academic journey.
17. Why did the graduation speech bring tissues? To wipe away tears of joy.
18. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of snack? “Degree”-licious cookies.
19. Why did the commencement speech make everyone laugh? Because it was full of wit and humor.
20. Why was the commencement speech like a dessert? Because it was the sweet ending to their academic journey.
21. Why was the graduation speech so electrifying? Because it sparked inspiration in everyone.
22. What did the diploma say to the graduate? “You nailed it!”
23. Why did the graduation speech have so many puns? Because it wanted to graduate summa cum laude in humor.
24. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of joke? Cap-and-gown humor.
25. Why did the commencement speech bring sunglasses? To shield the audience from their bright future.
26. Why did the graduate bring a dictionary to the ceremony? To define success in their own terms.
27. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of dance? The diploma shuffle.
28. Why did the graduation speech win an award? Because it had everyone rolling in the aisles.
29. What did the tassel say to the graduate? “Hang in there, the real world is just around the corner!”
30. Why did the graduation speech wear sunglasses? To shade the brilliance of the graduates.
31. What’s a graduate’s favorite dessert? Diplomacake.
32. Why did the commencement speech bring a telescope? To help graduates see their future clearly.
33. What do you call a speech given by a nervous graduate? Degree fright.
34. Why did the diploma feel unprepared for the ceremony? It forgot to study for the occasion.
35. What did the graduation speech say to the procrastinator? “Better late than never… but seriously, you should have started earlier.”
36. Why was the graduation speech so confident? It had rehearsed in front of a mirror.
37. What’s a graduate’s favorite superhero? Cap and Gown Man.
38. Why did the commencement speech bring a parachute? To cushion the fall into the real world.
39. What did the diploma say to the graduate’s resume? “I’ve got your back!”
40. Why did the graduation speech bring a fishing rod? To reel in some wisdom.

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Graduation Speech Puns

41. What do you call a speech given by a forgetful graduate? Memory loss musings.
42. Why did the diploma feel so fulfilled during the ceremony? It finally achieved its purpose.
43. What’s a graduate’s favorite board game? Diplomacy.
44. Why did the commencement speech bring a compass? To guide graduates on their journey.
45. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of bird? A cap-and-gown-dor.
46. Why was the graduation speech like a GPS? Because it guided everyone to success.
47. What did the commencement speech say to the graduates’ fears? “Don’t be afraid to fail forward.”
48. Why did the diploma feel so proud during the ceremony? It had earned its stripes.
49. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of fruit? Degree-licious apples.
50. Why did the graduation speech bring a magnifying glass? To examine life’s small victories.
51. What did the tassel say to the cap? “Stay put, we’re not done celebrating yet!”
52. Why was the graduation speech like a GPS? Because it provided guidance for the journey ahead.
53. Why did the graduation speech bring a map? To navigate the twists and turns of life after graduation.
54. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of cookie? Diplomookies.
55. Why did the commencement speech bring a telescope? To help graduates see their bright futures clearly.
56. What did the tassel say to the cap? “Hang in there, you’re about to be thrown!”
57. Why did the graduation speech bring a box of tissues? To wipe away tears of joy and nostalgia.
58. What’s a graduate’s favorite kind of tree? A diploma tree.
59. Why did the diploma feel nervous during the ceremony? It was afraid of being wrinkled.
60. What do you call a speech given by a forgetful graduate? Memory lane reflections.
61. Why was the commencement speech like a superhero? Because it inspired everyone to reach new heights.
62. What did the graduation speech say to the future? “Get ready, here come the graduates!”
63. Why did the diploma feel so accomplished during the ceremony? It had worked hard for that moment.
64. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of movie? The graduate.
65. Why did the commencement speech bring a crystal ball? To predict the graduates’ bright futures.
66. What did the tassel say to the cap? “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back!”
67. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of pet? A degree-berman.
68. Why did the diploma feel relieved during the ceremony? It had finally fulfilled its purpose.
69. Why did the commencement speech bring a compass? To help graduates navigate the journey ahead.
70. What did the graduation speech say to the pessimist? “Don’t worry, I’ll make you laugh… whether you like it or not!”
71. Why did the diploma blush during the ceremony? It was handed out with honors.
72. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of ice cream? Diploma-delic.
73. Why did the graduation speech bring a magnifying glass? To focus on life’s little victories.
74. What did the tassel say to the cap? “We’ve got this, let’s toss and celebrate!”
75. Why was the graduation speech like a compass? Because it pointed graduates in the right direction.
76. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of music? Degree beats.
77. Why did the commencement speech bring sunglasses? To shield the audience from the graduates’ bright futures.
78. What did the graduation speech say to the pessimist? “Don’t worry, I’ll make you smile… whether you like it or not!”
79. Why did the diploma feel proud during the ceremony? It had earned its stripes.
80. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of joke? One that earns a “degree” of laughter.

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Best Graduation Speech Jokes

81. Why did the graduation speech bring a compass? To guide graduates on their journey through life.
82. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of car? A “conGRADulations” convertible.
83. Why did the commencement speech bring a trophy? To celebrate the graduates’ achievements.
84. What did the tassel say to the cap? “Don’t worry, we’re in this together!”
85. Why was the graduation speech so entertaining? Because it had everyone on the edge of their seats.
86. What’s a graduate’s favorite subject in school? Grad-uation.
87. Why did the diploma feel relieved during the ceremony? It finally made it through all the exams.
88. What do you call a speech given by a forgetful graduate? Memory lane musings.
89. Why did the commencement speech bring a crystal ball? To foresee the bright futures of the graduates.
90. What did the tassel say to the cap? “Hold on tight, it’s time to celebrate!”
91. Why was the graduation speech so inspiring? Because it encouraged graduates to chase their dreams.
92. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of snack? Degree-licious cupcakes.
93. Why did the diploma feel accomplished during the ceremony? It had finally fulfilled its purpose.
94. What do you call a speech given by a clumsy graduate? Tripping over words of wisdom.
95. Why did the commencement speech bring a GPS? To help graduates navigate their future paths.
96. What did the tassel say to the cap? “We did it! Now let’s toss and celebrate!”
97. Why was the graduation speech so engaging? Because it captivated the audience’s attention.
98. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of movie? A grad-venture film.
99. Why did the diploma feel proud during the ceremony? It had earned its place among the graduates.
100. What do you call a speech given by a procrastinating graduate? Last-minute musings.
101. Why did the graduation speech bring a telescope? To help graduates see their bright futures more clearly.
102. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of sandwich? A “conGRADulations” sub.
103. Why did the commencement speech bring a trophy? To honor the graduates’ achievements.
104. What did the tassel say to the cap? “Hold on tight, we’re about to fly!”
105. Why was the graduation speech so captivating? Because it had the audience hanging on every word.
106. What’s a graduate’s favorite type of bird? A “conGRADulations” cardinal.
107. Why did the diploma feel relieved during the ceremony? It finally got to leave the drawer.
108. What do you call a speech given by a forgetful graduate? Memory lane monologue.
109. Why did the commencement speech bring a crystal ball? To predict the graduates’ future success.
110. What did the tassel say to the cap? “We’ve waited for this moment, let’s make it memorable!”

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Conclusion

Graduation speeches are an opportunity to celebrate achievements, reflect on memories, and look forward to the future. 

By infusing these speeches with humor, we can add an extra layer of joy and laughter to this significant milestone in life. So, let’s raise a toast to the graduates and their bright futures, filled with laughter and success!

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