117+ Long Funny Jokes: Prepare for a Laughter Marathon

Introduction

Sometimes, a good joke needs a bit of setup to deliver the punchline that leaves you in stitches. If you’re in the mood for some long-form humor that’s worth the wait, we’ve compiled a collection of hilarious long funny jokes guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and keep you laughing for days.

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Funny Jokes Long

1. Why did the giraffe break up with her boyfriend? He was too long in the neck for her liking!
2. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? History, because it’s all about the long crawl of time!
3. Why did the math book look so sad? It had too many long problems!
4. What do you call a very long nose? A great nosedive!
5. Why did the river never want to end? Because it loved to go on and on, flowing for a long time!
6. What’s the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles – because there’s a mile between each “s”!
7. What did the measuring tape say to the pencil? “You’re so long, you make me feel short!”
8. Why was the broom so tired? It had a long day sweeping!
9. What’s a spider’s favorite thing about the internet? The World Wide Web – because it’s so long!
10. Why did the tree go to school? To get educated on its long roots!
11. What did the mathematician say about the long equation? It’s like a marathon – it goes on and on!
12. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well, and it had a long, yellow face!
13. Why did the sunflower stand so tall? Because it had a long stem and didn’t want to be overshadowed!
14. What did the long pencil say to the short pencil? “You’re just not my type – you’re too little for me!”
15. Why did the train conductor quit his job? He couldn’t handle the long hours!
16. Why did the rope want to become a comedian? Because it had a lot of good material for a long joke!
17. What’s a whale’s favorite thing about the ocean? The long swims and endless waves!
18. Why was the road always so long? Because it had a lot of lanes to cover!
19. What did the computer say to the keyboard? “You’re so long-winded – you just keep typing away!”
20. Why did the bicycle refuse to go uphill? It was tired of the long ride!
21. What’s a potato’s favorite kind of chip? A long chip off the old block!
22. Why did the highway go to therapy? It had a long history of being taken for granted!
23. What did the caterpillar say to the other caterpillar? “Let’s go for a long crawl and see where it takes us!”
24. Why was the knitting club so popular? They always had a long line of yarns to spin!
25. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s “R”, but it’s really the “C” (sea) that they long for!
26. Why did the snail enroll in the race? It wanted to prove that slow and steady wins the long run!
27. What’s a vampire’s favorite meal? A long neck steak!
28. Why did the artist paint a picture of a clock? Because it had a long history of tick-tocking!
29. Why did the marathon runner bring a ladder? To take the long way up to the finish line!
30. What’s a genie’s favorite wish? For a long-lasting lamp to call home!
31. Why did the penguin want to visit Antarctica? To reunite with its long-lost family of icebergs!
32. Why did the astronaut bring a ruler to space? To measure the long distances between the stars!
33. What did the hairbrush say to the comb? “You’ve got some long teeth, but I’ve got the handle on this!”
34. Why did the chef prefer long noodles? Because they always had a twist at the end!
35. What did the train say to the passengers? “All aboard for the long ride ahead!”
36. Why did the marathon runner get a medal? For his long-standing dedication to long-distance running!
37. What’s a librarian’s favorite book? Anything with a long and captivating story!
38. Why did the novel go to therapy? It was haunted by a long line of plot holes!
39. Why did the elephant never forget? Because it had a long memory to hold all its trunk-full of memories!
40. Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants for too long!

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Funny Long One-Liners

41. What did the tree say to the lumberjack? “You’ve been barking up the wrong tree for too long!”
42. Why did the musician bring a ladder to the concert? To reach the high notes for a long-lasting performance!
43. Why did the athlete bring a rope to the gym? To jump into a long session of skipping!
44. Why did the computer file a complaint? It had been processing for too long without a break!
45. Why did the marathon runner get lost? They took the long way around the track!
46. What’s a spider’s favorite type of joke? A long web of puns!
47. Why did the broom retire? It had been sweeping for a long time and needed a clean break!
48. Why did the cat stretch out its paws? To take a long cat nap in the sun!
49. Why did the baker refuse to make long baguettes? They were short on dough!
50. What did the ruler say to the pencil? “You’ve been drawing this out for too long!”
51. Why did the telescope break up with the microscope? They had a long-distance relationship that was hard to focus on!
52. Why did the library book return itself? It had overstayed its welcome for too long!
53. Why did the road get a promotion? It had a long and winding career path!
54. What’s a ghost’s favorite hairstyle? Long and ghastly locks!
55. Why did the beekeeper retire? They had been buzzing around for a long time and needed to hive a break!
56. Why did the cowboy ride into the sunset? He had been on the range for too long and needed a long break!
57. What did the pillow say to the blanket? “Let’s snuggle up for a long night’s sleep!”
58. Why did the clock go to therapy? It had been ticking for too long and needed to unwind!
59. What did the camera say to the film? “You’ve captured my attention for too long!”
60. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open for too long!
61. What’s a spider’s favorite thing about the internet? The long “scrolls”!
62. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field for a long time!
63. Why did the math book look so stressed? It had too many long problems and couldn’t handle the length!
64. Why did the ocean break up with the shore? It needed some space after a long relationship!
65. Why did the belt get promoted? Because it held up pants for a long time!
66. What’s a dentist’s favorite time of day? Tooth-hurty, because it’s a long appointment!
67. Why did the blanket go to school? It wanted to learn how to cover for a long time!
68. Why did the pizza go to the gym? To get a little extra “long-topping” exercise!
69. Why did the clock get in trouble? It was caught ticking off for too long!
70. Why did the train conductor retire? He was tired of the long commute!
71. What did the mirror say to the camera? “You may have a flash, but I’ve got a long history of reflection!”
72. Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t have the guts to stick around for the long haul!
73. What did the lamp say to the light bulb? “You may shine bright, but I’ve got a long-standing base!”
74. Why did the music note go to therapy? It had a long history of being held for too long!
75. Why did the rope go to the party? It wanted to show off its long-lasting ties!
76. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It had a long-lasting peel-ing of unwellness!
77. Why did the iceberg want to move to warmer waters? It was tired of its long-standing cold reception!
78. What did the cloud say to the rain? “You may pour down, but I’ve got a long forecast ahead!”
79. Why was the basketball game so exhausting? It went into overtime for too long!
80. Why did the skeleton want to go bungee jumping? Because it wanted to stretch its legs for a long, long time!

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Humorous Funny Jokes Long

81. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a long “wiiiiiiiiiiiiine”!
82. Why was the ocean always calm? Because it had a long history of being a “sea”-soned professional!
83. Why did the paperclip win the race? Because it had a long track record of holding things together!
84. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It was worried about its long-term “a-peel”!
85. What did the calculator say to the ruler? “You may measure up, but I’ve got a long list of equations to solve!”
86. Why was the belt always so supportive? Because it had a long career of holding up pants!
87. Why did the tree blush? Because it saw its long-time crush walking by!
88. Why did the movie take so long to finish? Because it had a reel-y long plot!
89. Why did the astronaut bring a ladder to space? Because he wanted to take one small step for man, one giant leap for a long climb!
90. Why was the racehorse so fast? Because it had a long history of winning by a nose!
91. Why did the broom get promoted? Because it swept the competition for a long time!
92. Why did the music note go to jail? Because it held a long rest without permission!
93. Why was the road so tired? Because it had a long stretch of being paved!
94. Why was the piano always so out of tune? Because it had a long history of hitting the wrong keys!
95. Why was the math book always so depressed? Because it had a long history of problems!
96. Why did the train conductor get fired? Because he was caught trying to take the long way around!
97. Why was the ruler always so lonely? Because it had a long stretch of being straight!
98. Why was the pencil so popular? Because it had a long lead of making people laugh!
99. Why did the marathon runner join a choir? Because he wanted to go the distance for a long, long time!
100. Why did the calendar go to therapy? Because it had too many long days!
101. What did the lumberjack say about the tree? “It’s been a long log day!”
102. Why was the flag always waving? Because it had a long history of being patriotic!
103. Why did the snail take so long to cross the road? Because it was a “slow” learner!
104. What did the extension cord say to the power outlet? “Let’s make this a long-lasting connection!”
105. Why did the basketball player get into politics? Because he had a long history of dribbling!
106. Why did the rope go to the party? It heard it was going to be a “long” night!
107. What did the tailor say to the pants? “You’ve had a long inseam, my friend!”
108. Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants for too long!
109. Why did the marathon runner bring a ladder? To reach new heights for a long race!
110. Why did the car get into a relationship? It wanted to go the distance for a long-term commitment!
111. Why was the hairbrush always so confident? Because it had a long history of handling tough knots!
112. Why did the ocean go to school? Because it wanted to learn about its long-standing waves!
113. Why did the candle never go out? Because it had a long wick of determination!
114. What did the pillow say to the blanket? “Let’s have a long nap together!”
115. Why did the musician join the circus? Because he wanted to go on a long tour with the trapeze artists!
116. Why was the mountain so funny? Because it had a long history of making people laugh with its peaks!
117. Why did the plant become a comedian? Because it had a long stem of jokes to tell!
118. Why did the ruler get promoted? Because it had a long history of measuring up to expectations!
119. What did the hair say to the face? “Let’s grow old together for a long time!”

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Jokes About Jungle Cruise

Jokes About Long Winded

Conclusion

Long funny jokes may take a bit more time to build up, but when the punchline hits, the laughter is worth every moment of anticipation. 

With these side-splitting jokes, you’re guaranteed to brighten your day and keep the chuckles coming!

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