Hilarious Animal Jokes: A Collection of 93+ Rib-Ticklers

Introduction

Animals have a knack for bringing joy into our lives, and what better way to celebrate their charm than with a collection of uproarious jokes? 

From mischievous monkeys to wise old owls, these animal jokes will have you chuckling in no time.

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Funny Animal Jokes

1. Why did the squirrel go to school? Because it wanted to become a nutcracker!
2. Why did the sheep go to the movies? It wanted to see the “baa-baa” silver screen!
3. Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon!
4. Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse!
5. What did the dog say to the tree? Bark up the right tree!
6. Why do fish never get lost? Because they always know their way around!
7. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
8. Why did the spider break up with its girlfriend? She was spinning too much web!
9. What’s a frog’s favorite drink? Croak-a-cola!
10. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!
11. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
12. Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change its jockeys!
13. What kind of dog loves bubble baths? A shampoodle!
14. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee? It was too jumpy!
15. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be called bagels!
16. What do you get when you cross a cat and a lemon? A sourpuss!
17. Why did the bear break up with its girlfriend? She couldn’t “bear” his honey obsession!
18. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer!
19. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
20. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A python!
21. Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse-clicks!
22. What’s a sheep’s favorite game? Baa-dminton!
23. What did the fox say to the rabbit? “You’re such a hare-raising character!”
24. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!
25. What did the buffalo say when its kid left for school? “Bison!”
26. What’s a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-hop!
27. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
28. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
29. What kind of horses only come out at night? Nightmares!
30. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear!

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Hilarious Animal Jokes

31. What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping!
32. Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!
33. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper!
34. What’s a frog’s favorite soda? Croak-a-Cola!
35. What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A π-thon!
36. Why don’t dinosaurs drive cars? They’re extinct!
37. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Mice cream!
38. Why was the ant so confused? Because all its uncles were ants!
39. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
40. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
41. What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending!
42. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrrr-ple!
43. Why did the crab never share? Because it’s shellfish!
44. What’s a bird’s favorite subject in school? Owl-gebra!
45. What do you call a bear without an ear? B!
46. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
47. What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops!
48. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they’re flying? Because they would quack up!
49. What’s a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic!
50. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
51. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
52. Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad away!
53. Why was the horse so happy? Because it lived in a stable environment!
54. What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals!
55. Why did the ant so confused? Because all its uncles were ants!
56. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
57. What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
58. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
59. Why did the duck go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little “fowl”!
60. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Do you smell carrots?”

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Best Animal One-Liners

61. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
62. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
63. Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
64. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!
65. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
66. What did the crab never share? Because it’s shellfish!
67. What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews!
68. Why did the chicken go to the playground? To get to the other slide!
69. Why did the cow go to space? To see the moooon!
70. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
71. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
72. Why did the horse cross the road? Because somebody shouted, “Hay!”
73. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill!”
74. Why did the frog take the bus? Because his car got toad away!
75. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
76. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
77. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
78. What’s a cow’s favorite musical instrument? The moo-sical chairs!
79. Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry!
80. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
81. What’s a bear’s favorite drink? Koka-Koala!
82. Why did the chicken join the band? Because it had the drumsticks!
83. What kind of dogs like car racing? Lap dogs!
84. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato!
85. What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes? A funny bunny!
86. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill!”
87. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
88. What do you call a bear caught in the rain? A drizzly bear!
89. How do you make a goldfish old? Take away the “g”!
90. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrr-ple!
91. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
92. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!
93. Why did the horse cross the road? To get to the hay on the other side!
94. Why did the dinosaur refuse to wear a mask? Because the pandemic was prehistoric!
95. What did the snail say when it rode on the turtle’s back? “Wheee!”
96. Why was the fish blushing? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!

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Conclusion

Laughter is indeed the best medicine, and these animal jokes serve up a healthy dose of giggles. 

The whimsical world of animals, coupled with humor, brings an abundance of joy to our lives.