Holiday Fun: 137+ Hilarious Christmas Naughty Jokes

Introduction

Christmas is a time for laughter, joy, and good-natured fun. In the spirit of merriment, we’ve compiled a list of mischievously funny Christmas jokes to add a bit of naughtiness to your holiday celebrations. 

Whether you’re looking for a good laugh to share with family and friends or want to add a touch of humor to your holiday cards, these jokes will surely bring a smile to your face.

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Christmas Naughty Jokes

1. Why was the math book sad at Christmas? Because it had too many problems!
2. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumby!
3. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
4. Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
5. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
6. What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose, coal eyes, and a corn cob pipe? Well-dressed!
7. Why was the Christmas tree so bad at sewing? It kept dropping its needles.
8. Why was the math book sad at Christmas? Because it had too many “problems.”
9. What do you call an elf who tells jokes? A “punch” line!
10. Why was the gingerbread man so good at making holiday desserts? He kneaded the dough!
11. What do you call a reindeer with bad manners? “Rude”-olph.
12. How do you know when Santa is in the room? You can sense his “presence.”
13. Why did the Christmas wreath go to the barber? It needed a trim.
14. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!
15. Why did the Christmas tree stand-up comedy act fail? Because it always “needled” the audience.
16. What did the gingerbread man use to fix his house? Icing and gumption.
17. How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch.
18. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose.
19. What do you call a snowman party? A snowball.
20. How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
21. What did one snowman say to the other? “Do you smell carrots?”
22. What’s Frosty the Snowman’s favorite cereal? Snowflakes.
23. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
24. What did one snowman say to the other? “You’re cool!”
25. What did the gingerbread man use to fix his house? Icing and gumdrops.
26. Why did the Christmas cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
27. Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites!
28. Why don’t snowmen ever travel alone? They prefer to go in a flurry!
29. What’s Frosty the Snowman’s favorite food? Iceberg lettuce.
30. How does a snowman get around? By riding the “Snowbus.”
31. Why did the snowman look through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
32. Why did the snowman bring a broom to the party? He heard they were “sweeping” up the fun!
33. How do snowmen greet each other? Ice to meet you!
34. What did one snowman say to the other? “You’re snow cool!”
35. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Just chill.
36. How does a snowman get around? By riding an “ice-sickle.”
37. Why did the snowman bring a carrot to the party? He wanted to have a “snow cone”!
38. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
39. How do snowmen travel around? By riding an “icicle.”
40. What’s a snowman’s favorite cereal? Frosted Flakes.

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Humorous Christmas Naughty Jokes

41. What’s Frosty the Snowman’s favorite breakfast? Snowflakes with milk!
42. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Snowflakes!
43. What’s Santa’s safe word? Jingle Bells!
44. Why was the Christmas tree flirting with the ornament? It had “tree-mendous” appeal.
45. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite with a bark!
46. How did the elf get off the naughty list? He turned in Santa for tax evasion!
47. Why did the gingerbread man go to therapy? He had too many crumbs in his past.
48. What do you call a snowman who sings blues? A “chilly” crooner.
49. How does Santa stay in shape? He does “Santa-cize.”
50. Why did Santa bring a ladder to the Christmas party? He heard the drinks were on the house.
51. What do you call Santa when he loses his pants? Saint Knickerless!
52. What do you call a snowman party that got out of hand? A meltdown.
53. How did Santa know he was getting a cold? He had the “sleigh” sniffles.
54. What’s Frosty the Snowman’s favorite rock song? “Cold as Ice” by Foreigner.
55. Why did the elf bring a ladder to the toy shop? He wanted to go to the “Elf” section.
56. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An “ab-dominable” snowman.
57. How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free? With Claus-tarch and iron-ic willpower.
58. What do you get if you cross an elf with a detective? “Santa” Claus!
59. Why did the elf refuse to take a nap? He was afraid of “elf-alfa” bet.
60. What do you call a snowman who’s in denial? Snow-blind.
61. How does a snowman propose to his snow-lady? He gives her an “ice”-engagement ring.
62. Why did the gingerbread man go to anger management? He couldn’t stop yelling, “Bite me!”
63. Why was the Christmas tree so great at solving problems? It had a lot of “tree-unk” knowledge.
64. What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose, coal eyes, and a corn cob pipe? Fashionable!
65. How do snowmen celebrate a successful snowball fight? They go to the “snow-bar” for a round of “frozen” cocktails.
66. Why did the elf decline a job at the bakery? He was afraid of getting “elf”-taught!
67. Why did the gingerbread man take up baking? He kneaded a new hobby.
68. How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free? With some Claus-tarch and a little “iron”-y.
69. What do you call a snowman who tells jokes? A “pun”-dertaker.
70. Why did Santa start a band? He wanted to rock around the Christmas tree!
71. What do you call an elf who loves technology? A “byte”-sized helper.
72. Why did the Christmas tree bring a hairbrush to the party? It wanted to have a “comb-over” discussion.
73. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite with a taste for blood snowcones!
74. Why did the Christmas tree become a gardener? It had a “fir” obsession with growing plants.
75. What do you call a snowman who’s a smooth talker? “Chill” charming.
76. Why did Santa bring a broom to the Christmas party? He heard they were “sweeping” the dance floor!
77. How do snowmen stay in shape? They have an “ice”-cercise routine.
78. What do you get if you cross an elf with a detective? A “short” case.
79. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was trying to find his “lost” nose!
80. What’s Frosty the Snowman’s favorite cereal? Snowflakes with a chilly milkshake!

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Funny Naughty Christmas One-Liners

81. Why did the Christmas wreath go to therapy? It was feeling a bit “wreath-less.”
82. How do snowmen order their favorite drinks? “Frosted” and “on the rocks.”
83. What do you call a snowman who’s always late? Snow “delayed.”
84. Why did Santa’s reindeer apply for jobs at the airport? They wanted to join the “fly”-team!
85. Why did Santa get a ticket for speeding on Christmas Eve? He was “sleigh”-ing it on the highway!
86. What’s Santa’s favorite way to travel in the summer? By “sunny” sleigh!
87. Why did the Christmas tree refuse to help decorate? It didn’t want to be “tinsel-tainted.”
88. Why did the gingerbread man get kicked out of the bakery? He was caught loafing around.
89. What’s the secret to Santa’s diet during the holidays? “Yule”-tide control.
90. How does Santa stay warm in the North Pole? He wears Claus-tumes.
91. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite with a bark!
92. Why did the Christmas cookie go to therapy? It was feeling “crumby.”
93. What’s Santa’s favorite kind of weather? “Sleigh”-ter!
94. How does Santa stay jolly all night long? He practices “elf”-care.
95. What do you call an elf who loves music? A “wrap” star!
96. Why was the snowman always nervous? He had a lot on the “ice.”
97. What do you call a snowman who’s a big fan of classical music? An “icicle” cellist.
98. Why did the gingerbread man get a ticket? Because he was a little “crumby” driver.
99. What’s Santa’s favorite kind of sandwich? One made with “elf”-in bread.
100. Why was the snowman so good at sales? He had a “flaky” personality.
101. How do you know if Santa is nearby? You can sense his “presence.”
102. Why did the Christmas wreath get a promotion at work? It had great “circle” references.
103. What’s Frosty the Snowman’s favorite TV show? “Ice Road Truckers.”
104. What’s a snowman’s favorite dessert? “Ice” cream sundaes!
105. Why was the Christmas wreath always so positive? It had a “wreath” of fresh air.
106. What do you call a snowman with a great sense of humor? A “snow-joker.”
107. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
108. Why did the gingerbread man become a detective? He was always good at “crumb” scene investigations.
109. What do you call Santa when he’s on vacation? Sandy Claus!
110. Why did the Christmas tree bring a hairbrush to the party? It wanted to “spruce” up its look.
111. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite with a taste for blood snowcones!
112. How do snowmen stay cool in summer? They use “sno-cone” umbrellas.
113. Why did the Christmas tree become a gardener? It had a “fir-m” belief in growing its own greens.
114. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack and a carrot nose? Snow-abs.
115. How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free? With Claus-tarch and a little “iron”-y.
116. Why did the elf bring a ladder to the toy shop? He wanted to climb the “elf” hierarchy.
117. Why was the Christmas turkey always the life of the party? Because it knew how to “gobble” up the attention.
118. Why did the snowman bring a broom to the party? He heard they were “sweeping” the dance floor!
119. How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch with a hint of magic.
120. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite with a taste for blood snowcones!
121. What do you call Santa when he takes a break to work out? “Swole” Claus.
122. What do you get when you cross an elf with a detective? A “short” case.
123. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? A snow “stud”!
124. Why did the gingerbread man go to the gym? He wanted to work on his “crunch”es.
125. Why did the elf refuse to take a nap? It had too much “elf” confidence.
126. What do you call Santa when he takes a selfie? Santa “Paws”!
127. Why did the Christmas tree decide to take up art? It wanted to be a “tree”-mendous painter.
128. What do you call a snowman with a temper? A “melt”-down waiting to happen.
129. Why was the Christmas tree always searching for a restroom? It had too much “tree-licious” eggnog.
130. What’s Santa’s secret to staying calm during the holidays? “Yule”-tide relaxation.

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CHristmas Naughty Puns

131. Why did the Christmas tree invite all the other trees over? It wanted to “spruce” things up.
132. How do snowmen greet each other? “Ice” to meet you!
133. Why was the snowman smiling? Because it saw the snowblower coming and knew it was “blown” away.
134. What’s a snowman’s favorite type of music? “Frost”-bitten melodies!
135. Why did the Christmas tree have a hard time concentrating? It kept spacing out.
136. How does Santa stay fit for his big night? He practices “elf”-care yoga.
137. Why was the snowman so good at poker? He had a “poker” face all year round.
138. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dog? Frostbite with a wagging tail!
139. Why did the Christmas tree always have a great sense of humor? It had a lot of “tree”-mendous jokes.
140. What’s Frosty the Snowman’s favorite kind of comedy? “Ice”-breaking jokes!

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Conclusion

Christmas is a time to make memories and share moments of joy with your loved ones. What better way to do that than with a hearty laugh? These naughty Christmas jokes are just a small part of the merriment that the holiday season brings. 

Share the gift of laughter this Christmas and enjoy the festivities with a twinkle in your eye and a chuckle in your heart.

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