Laugh Ahoy! 130+ Hilarious Captain Jokes to Brighten Your Day

Introduction

Life at sea can be serious business, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun along the way! If you’re ready to cast off your worries and dive into a sea of laughter, you’ve come to the right place. 

We’ve rounded up over 130 side-splitting jokes about captains that are sure to make waves of laughter. So, batten down the hatches and prepare to chuckle your way through this nautical collection!

Jokes about captians

1. Why did the captain bring a ladder to the ship? Because he heard the sea was high!
2. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet? You might think it’s ‘R’, but it be the ‘C’ they love!
3. Why did the captain go to the doctor? He had shipwrecks in his stomach.
4. What’s a captain’s favorite kind of music? Sea-shanties, of course!
5. Why did the captain get a clock for the ship? To keep an “eye” on the time.
6. How does a captain stay calm during a storm? He keeps a steady helm!
7. Why was the computer cold on the ship? It left its Windows open.
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of movie? One with an ‘ARR’ rating!
9. Why did the captain bring a broom to the ship? To sweep the deck!
10. How do captains prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!
11. Why did the captain get a parrot? To keep an “ear” out for trouble.
12. What do you call a captain with a rubber toe? Roberto!
13. Why do captains make terrible poker players? Because they always have a tell-tale ship!
14. What did the captain say to calm the crew? “Don’t worry, we’ll weather this together!”
15. Why was the math book sad on the ship? It had too many problems.
16. What’s a pirate’s favorite restaurant? Arrrby’s!
17. Why did the captain bring a pencil to the wheel? In case he needed to draw a line in the water.
18. What do you call a captain’s favorite sweaters? Cardi-gans!
19. Why was the new pirate so bad at hiding? Because he was always spotted.
20. What’s a captain’s favorite game? Battleship, of course!
21. Why did the captain install a ladder on the ship? To take his crew to a new level!
22. What did the captain say to the crew after they found treasure? “X marks the spot!”
23. Why don’t captains ever get lost? They always find their way with their “sea”R skills!
24. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? Arrrrt class!
25. Why did the captain bring a paper towel to the ship? In case of a “shipwreck” accident!
26. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie!
27. Why did the captain wear a red shirt? So the crew couldn’t see him blush.
28. What’s a captain’s favorite fruit? A banana boat!
29. Why did the pirate go on vacation? To get a little “arrr and arrr” time!
30. What did the captain say when the crew asked for directions? “Keep left, we’re always right!”
31. Why was the pirate captain a great comedian? He had the best ship-tickles!
32. What do you call a pirate’s brain? His “navigrrrration” system!
33. Why did the captain bring a ladder to the ship? To take his crew to new heights!
34. What do you call a pirate with lots of weapons? Arm-arrred and dangerous!
35. Why did the captain get a pet snake? To add some “hiss-terical” moments to the ship!
36. What’s a pirate’s favorite social media platform? Insta-grARRm!
37. Why did the captain go to the gym? To stay in ship shape!
38. What’s a captain’s favorite instrument? The “captain-o!”
39. What do you call a pirate who skips school? Captain Hooky!
40. Why did the captain bring a backpack to the ship? To carry his treasure maps, of course!
41. What’s a pirate’s favorite holiday? International Talk Like a Pirate Day!
42. Why did the captain start a gardening club on the ship? To cultivate some sea-nery!
43. What do you call a pirate that became a vegetable farmer? A squash-buckler!
44. Why did the pirate become a musician? He had a natural arrrrhythm!
45. What’s a captain’s favorite type of footwear? Boat shoes, arrr!
46. Why was the pirate captain so good at math? He could always count on his fingers.
47. What did the captain say to his crew after a long day of sailing? “Let’s anchor down for the night!”
48. Why did the captain become an author? He had a way with “sea”-quel stories!
49. What’s a pirate’s favorite cereal? Captain Crunch, arrr, matey!
50. Why did the captain bring a dictionary to the ship? To give the crew some “wordy” advice!
51. What’s a captain’s favorite animal? The seagull, of course!
52. Why was the pirate captain so good at hiding? He always knew how to “con-sea-l” himself!
53. What did the captain say to the crew when they asked about the storm? “Don’t worry, we’ll weather it together!”
54. Why did the captain start a comedy club on the ship? To keep the crew in stitches!
55. What’s a pirate’s favorite board game? Captain’s Chess!
56. Why did the captain bring a map to the ship? In case he wanted to “chart” a new course!

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One liners about captains

57. What’s a captain’s favorite type of candy? “Sea” salt taffy!
58. Why did the pirate take up painting? He wanted to brush up on his artistic skills!
59. What did the captain say when his crew asked if he needed help steering? “I’ve got it all under control, shipmates!”
60. Why did the captain bring a chair to the ship? To give his crew a “sea”-ting area!
61. What’s a pirate’s favorite TV show? “Arrr” You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?
62. Why did the pirate get a job at the bakery? He loved making “yarrr” rolls!
63. What did the captain say when his crew found a mysterious island? “We’ve hit uncharted laughs!”
64. Why did the captain bring a camera to the ship? To capture all those “sea”-rious moments!
65. What’s a pirate’s favorite fruit? Pine-arrple!
66. Why did the pirate join the drama club? He wanted to show off his “sea”-rious acting skills!
67. What did the captain say when the crew asked if they were lost? “Nah, we’re just taking the scenic route!”
68. Why did the captain bring a bag of quarters to the ship? To pay the “sea”-port fees!
69. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of tea? Matey tea!
70. Why did the pirate captain start a dance class on the ship? To keep the crew’s spirits high!
71. What did the captain say when the crew asked if they were going in circles? “Nautical way!”
72. Why did the captain bring a box of tissues to the ship? In case of a “sea”-sick crew!
73. What’s a pirate’s favorite element? Arrrgon!
74. Why did the pirate captain take up gardening? He had a talent for making things “growl”!
75. What did the captain say to the crew when they found a treasure chest? “This calls for a treasure-chest-ation celebration!”
76. Why did the captain bring a backpack full of quills to the ship? To jot down all his “sea”-rious thoughts!
77. What’s a pirate’s favorite animal at the zoo? The pARROt!
78. Why did the pirate captain start a cooking show on the ship? He had a flair for “flav-ARR”!
79. What did the captain say when his crew asked if they were heading in the right direction? “Aye, we’re on the right track!”
80. Why did the captain bring a mirror to the ship? To “sea” himself in a new light!
81. What’s a pirate’s favorite planet? Arrr-entis!
82. Why did the pirate captain become a comedian? He had a talent for “sea”-rious jokes!
83. What did the captain say when the crew asked if they were lost? “Nah, we’re just taking a scenic route!”
84. Why did the captain bring a suitcase to the ship? To pack all his “sea”-rious essentials!
85. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of sandwich? A “sub-mARRine”!
86. Why did the pirate captain become a painter? He had a knack for “brush”-ing up the ship!
87. What did the captain say when his crew asked about the stormy weather? “Don’t worry, it’s just a little wave hello!”
88. Why did the captain bring a dictionary to the ship? To give the crew some “wordy” wisdom!
89. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of bagel? A “loX-matey”!
90. Why did the pirate captain start a music band on the ship? He wanted to make some “har-monARR-y”!
91. What did the captain say when his crew wondered if they were off course? “No worries, we’re on a laughter navigation!”
92. Why did the captain bring a camera to the ship? To capture all those “sea”-rious moments!

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Funny captian puns

93. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of ice cream? Rocky “shARRk”!
94. Why did the pirate captain join a drama club? He had a flair for the “sea”-theater!
95. What did the captain say when his crew asked if they were going in circles? “Nautical way!”
96. Why did the captain bring a backpack full of quills to the ship? To jot down all his “sea”-rious thoughts!
97. What’s a pirate’s favorite sport? “SwARRrming”!
98. Why did the pirate captain take up gardening? He loved to “growl” his own veggies!
99. What did the captain say when the crew found a treasure chest? “Time to celebrate with some bootyful laughs!”
100. Why did the captain bring a mirror to the ship? To “sea” himself from all angles!
101. What’s a pirate’s favorite dance move? The “ARRr-riba”!
102. Why did the pirate captain become a comedian? His jokes were “sea”-iously good!
103. What did the captain say when the crew asked if they were lost? “Nah, we’re just taking a scenic route!”
104. Why did the captain bring a suitcase to the ship? To pack all his “sea”-rious essentials!
105. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of fruit punch? “PARRch”!
106. Why did the pirate captain start a band on the ship? He wanted to create some “har-monARR-y”!
107. What did the captain say when his crew wondered about their course? “We’re sailing toward laughter island!”
108. Why did the captain bring a camera to the ship? To capture all those “sea”-rious moments!
109. What’s a pirate’s favorite form of exercise? The plank!
110. Why did the pirate captain join a drama club? He was great at adding some “sea”-rious drama!
111. What did the captain say when his crew asked if they were going in circles? “Nautical way!”
112. Why did the captain bring a backpack full of quills to the ship? To jot down all his “sea”-rious thoughts!
113. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of pasta? “Pirate-sghetti”!
114. Why did the pirate captain take up gardening? He loved tending to his “growl”-ing garden!
115. What did the captain say when the crew found a treasure chest? “Let’s celebrate with some treasure trove of jokes!”
116. Why did the captain bring a mirror to the ship? To “sea” himself in a new light!
117. What’s a pirate’s favorite form of dance? The “ARR-tango”!
118. Why did the pirate captain become a comedian? He had a knack for “sea”-rious humor!
119. What did the captain say when the crew asked if they were lost? “Nah, just exploring the laugh-filled seas!”
120. Why did the captain bring a suitcase to the ship? To pack all his “sea”-rious essentials!
121. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of movie? “ARR-chaeology” adventures!
122. Why did the pirate captain start a band on the ship? He wanted to create some “har-monARR-y”!
123. What did the captain say when his crew wondered about their course? “We’re on the laughter cruise!”
124. Why did the captain bring a camera to the ship? To capture all those “sea”-rious moments!
125. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of sandwich? “BARRbecue”!
126. Why did the pirate captain join a drama club? He was a master of “sea”-rious acting!
127. What did the captain say when the crew asked if they were going in circles? “Nautical way!”
128. Why did the captain bring a backpack full of quills to the ship? To jot down all his “sea”-rious thoughts!
129. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of dance? The “salsa-pARR-tner” dance!
130. Why did the captain bring a ladder to the ship? Because he wanted to take the crew to new “heights” of laughter!

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Conclusion

And there you have it, a treasure trove of over 130+ captain-themed jokes to keep you chuckling on the high seas of humor! From witty wordplay to hilarious puns, these jokes are sure to lift your spirits and put a smile on your face. 

So, next time you find yourself needing a laugh, just remember these jokes and let the laughter set sail!

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