90+ Hilarious Lumber Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches!

Introduction

Welcome to our uproarious collection of lumber jokes! Whether you’re a fan of wordplay, witty one-liners, or simply enjoy a good laugh, we’ve got you covered. 

These jokes will tickle your funny bone and bring a smile to your face. So, grab your hard hat and get ready to explore the hilarious world of lumber humour!

Funny Wood Puns

1. Why did the lumberjack bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to climb the corporate tree!
2. What do you call a lumberjack who can dance? A plankton!
3. How does a lumberjack fix a broken chair? With log-ic!
4. What did the piece of wood say to the lumberjack? “I’m board!”
5. Why did the lumberjack always carry a map? Because he wanted to find his way around the forest!
6. What do you call a lumberjack with no arms or legs? Stumped!
7. How do lumberjacks stay in shape? They log in hours at the gym!
8. Why did the lumberjack always bring a pencil to work? To log his progress!
9. What do you call a lumberjack who skydives? Woodpecker!
10. Why did the lumberjack bring a dictionary to the forest? To look up tree-definitions!
11. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite type of music? Log-rhythms!
12. Why was the lumberjack always so calm? Because he had great self-branch control!
13. How did the lumberjack become an expert at math? He always knew how to log-arithmically solve problems!
14. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite board game? Timber!
15. Why did the lumberjack go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to draw trees with great lumberlines!
16. How did the lumberjack feel after a hard day’s work? Board out of his mind!
17. What did the lumberjack say to the tree he cut down? “It’s time to branch out!”
18. How does a lumberjack communicate with his friends? Through tree-mail!
19. Why did the lumberjack bring a saw to the baseball game? He wanted to catch a foul log!
20. How does a lumberjack measure his success? By the number of logs he’s able to chop off his list!
21. Why did the lumberjack take his pet beaver to work? It was his trusted log-ical assistant!
22. How do you identify a lumberjack at a party? He’s the one who always knows how to “wood” the crowd!
23. Why did the lumberjack bring his ax to the comedy club? He wanted to deliver some “cutting-edge” humor!
24. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite exercise? Log-rolling!
25. How do lumberjacks celebrate a successful day of work? They have a tree-mendous party!
26. What did the lumberjack say when he got a promotion? “I’ve reached the tree-top of my career!”
27. Why did the lumberjack win the dance competition? He had the best timber-wolf moves!
28. How do lumberjacks keep their feet warm? They wear log-ic socks!
29. Why did the lumberjack become a hairdresser? He was tired of dealing with logs and wanted to work with strands of “tree-sers”!
30. What did the lumberjack say when he lost his ax? “I’m stumped!”

Best Lumber Jokes

31. How does a lumberjack greet his friends? “Hey, pal, long time no tree!”
32. Why did the lumberjack become a magician? He wanted to make trees disappear in a “trunk” of an eye!
33. What did the lumberjack say to the tree that kept falling down? “Knock it off!”
34. How does a lumberjack know it’s time for lunch? His stomach starts to “rumble” like a chainsaw!
35. Why did the lumberjack become a chef? He wanted to create tree-licious dishes!
36. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite type of pizza? Pine-apple!
37. How did the lumberjack feel after he finished building his cabin? He was “board-ly” able to contain his excitement!
38. What do you call a lumberjack who tells tall tales? A “log-end” storyteller!
39. How do lumberjacks make important decisions? They “wood” consult with their inner tree-selves!
40. Why did the lumberjack bring a ladder to the hardware store? He wanted to “step up” his shopping game!
41. How do lumberjacks throw a surprise party? They “saw” it coming from a mile away!
42. What do you call a group of lumberjacks singing together? A “chorus” of loggers!
43. How did the lumberjack know it was going to rain? He saw some “damp” trees!
44. Why did the lumberjack start a band? He wanted to “wood” rock the world!
45. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite type of sandwich? Sub-lime!
46. How did the lumberjack become a detective? He was a natural at “log-ical” thinking!
47. Why did the lumberjack bring a tape measure to the party? He wanted to size up the “timber” of the guests!
48. What did the lumberjack say to his ax when it was feeling down? “Don’t worry, be “tree” happy!”
49. How do lumberjacks show affection? They give each other “tree-mendous” hugs!
50. Why did the lumberjack start a gardening club? He had a green thumb for “tree-tment”!
51. How does a lumberjack enjoy his morning coffee? With a dash of “tree-mendous” flavor!
52. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite holiday? Arbor Day, of course!
53. Why did the lumberjack bring a pencil sharpener to the forest? He liked to “sharpen” his skills!
54. How does a lumberjack navigate through the forest? With great “tree-sense”!
55. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite movie genre? Wood-ventures!
56. Why did the lumberjack become a yoga instructor? He wanted to master the art of “tree-pose”!
57. How do lumberjacks stay cool during the summer? They “timber-dive” into the nearest lake!
58. What did the lumberjack say to his friend who lost his job? “Don’t worry, opportunities will “wood” up soon enough!”
59. How do lumberjacks handle a crisis? They “log-ically” find a solution!
60. Why did the lumberjack become a race car driver? He loved the “speed” of cutting through the finish line!

One-Liners About Lumber

61. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite type of candy? Log-ers!
62. How does a lumberjack make a phone call? He “wood” pick up the receiver!
63. Why did the lumberjack bring a parachute to work? He wanted to “leaf” his worries behind!
64. How did the lumberjack celebrate his birthday? With a big slice of “log” cake!
65. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite exercise in the water? “Log” strokes!
66. Why did the lumberjack become a motivational speaker? He had a talent for “branching” out and inspiring others!
67. How do lumberjacks keep their clothes wrinkle-free? They use “press-wood”!
68. What did the lumberjack say to his assistant? “We make a great “timber”!”
69. How does a lumberjack keep track of his appointments? He uses a “log-end-ar”!
70. Why did the lumberjack start a woodworking school? He wanted to “chop” up the competition!
71. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite mode of transportation? A “log-icopter”!
72. How did the lumberjack feel when he won the lottery? He was “board” out of his mind with excitement!
73. Why did the lumberjack become a DJ? He knew how to turn “logs” into beats!
74. How does a lumberjack style his hair? With a log-inator!
75. What did the lumberjack say when he couldn’t find his keys? “They must be “barking” somewhere!”
76. Why did the lumberjack become a comedian? He had a talent for “wood” humor!
77. How do lumberjacks choose their favorite trees? They go with their “gut-wood” instinct!
78. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite mode of transportation in the city? The “log” bus!
79. Why did the lumberjack become a magician? He knew how to “saw” things differently!
80. How did the lumberjack feel after planting his first tree? Root-tastic!
81. What did the lumberjack say when he won the marathon? “I “timber”-ed over the finish line!”
82. Why did the lumberjack bring a camera to the forest? He wanted to capture “tree-mendous” moments!
83. How do lumberjacks stay organized? They use “log-ical” filing systems!
84. What did the lumberjack say to the tree that fell in love with him? “You’re “barking” up the wrong lumber, my friend!”
85. How did the lumberjack feel after completing a difficult project? He was “saw” proud of himself!
86. Why did the lumberjack become a chef? He knew how to turn “logs” into delicious meals!
87. How do lumberjacks communicate with each other from afar? They use “tree-lepathy”!
88. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite type of music at a party? “Wood”-rock!
89. Why did the lumberjack start a woodworking YouTube channel? He wanted to share his “timber”-taining skills with the world!
90. How does a lumberjack relax after a long day? By enjoying some “tree-zen” moments!
91. What did the lumberjack say when he found a hidden treasure in the forest? “I hit the “jack”pot!”
92. How do lumberjacks enjoy their vacations? They go on “tree-mendous” adventures!

Conclusion

We hope these lumber jokes have brought a smile to your face and brightened your day! Laughter is like a breath of fresh air, and we’re glad to have shared these woodsy puns and one-liners with you. 

Whether you’re a fan of lumberjacks, forests, or simply enjoy a good laugh, these jokes are sure to entertain. Remember, a good sense of humour is always in high demand, so share these jokes with your friends and family to spread the joy!

FAQs