33+ Hilarious Newfie Jokes: A Laugh Riot Guaranteed!

Introduction

Get ready to chuckle till your sides ache with these rib-tickling Newfie jokes! Known for their warmth, resilience, and unique sense of humor, Newfoundlanders have inspired some of the funniest newfie jokes around. So sit back, relax, and prepare for a hearty laugh!

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Newfie Jokes

1. Why did the Newfie stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said ‘concentrate’!
2. How does a Newfie turn off the light after leaving the room? He closes the car door.
3. What do you call a Newfie with two shovels? Double-wide.
4. Why did the Newfie bring a pencil to the bar? To draw attention.
5. Why did the Newfie put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.
6. Why did the Newfie tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
7. Why did the Newfie take a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
8. Why did the Newfie stare at the can of juice? Because it said ‘concentrate’!
9. What did the Newfie do after finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months? He returned the box to the store, claiming it was defective!
10. Why did the Newfie buy an airbag? For his computer, in case it crashed!
11. Why did the Newfie stare at the bottle of orange juice? Because it said, ‘concentrate’!
12. What do you call a Newfie with a mortgage? An optimist!
13. Why did the Newfie stare at the orange juice container? Because it said, ‘concentrate’!
14. What did the Newfie do when he saw the “No Trespassing” sign? He got a job there!
15. Why did the Newfie bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
16. How does a Newfie commit suicide? He jumps off his ego.
17. Why did the Newfie bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the roof this time!
18. How many Newfies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three – one to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder!
19. Why did the Newfie get fired from the M&M factory? He kept throwing away the W’s!
20. What did the Newfie say to the bartender after being refused a drink? “I guess I’ll just go fishing instead!”
21. Why don’t Newfies play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when everyone knows everyone else!
22. Why did the Newfie stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said, “Do not thaw”!
23. What did the Newfie do with the bottle of ketchup? He went to university to learn how to read!
24. Why did the Newfie put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets!
25. What did the Newfie do when he found out his truck had a flat tire? He sold it for a bus pass!
26. Why did the Newfie bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept!
27. How did the Newfie die drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
28. What did the Newfie say to the judge? “I’m sorry, I thought ‘MP’ stood for ‘More Pints’!”
29. Why don’t Newfies work in elevators? They can’t learn the route!
30. Why did the Newfie bring a sandwich to the dentist? He heard his teeth were going to get drilled!
31. What did the Newfie say when he saw a sign that said “Wet Floor”? “Don’t worry, I’m not dry either!”
32. Why did the Newfie take a hammer to bed? He wanted to hit the sack!
33. What did the Newfie do when he won a gold medal at the Olympics? He sold it to buy a snowmobile!
34. Why did the Newfie buy a parrot? He wanted someone to talk to during the long winters!
35. What did the Newfie do when he saw a “Wrong Way” sign? He turned around and went home!

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Conclusion

Newfie jokes never fail to bring a smile to anyone’s face! With their clever wit and charming demeanor, Newfoundlanders have become the subject of endless humor. 

These jokes not only entertain but also celebrate the unique spirit of the people from the Rock!

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