Making the Grade: 113+ Hilarious First Day Funnies

Introduction

The first day of school is a mix of excitement, nerves, and a whole lot of laughs. Whether you’re a student braving a new grade or a teacher facing a fresh class, there’s always room for a little humor to ease those first-day jitters.

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First Day Of School Jokes

1. Why did the math book look sad on the first day of school? Because it had too many problems!
2. What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
3. Why was the broom late to school? It overswept!
4. Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because she thought it was a high school!
5. What’s a vampire’s favorite subject in school? Fanglish!
6. Why was the history book so nervous? Because it knew too much!
7. Why was the teacher cross-eyed on the first day of school? She couldn’t control her pupils!
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, especially on the first day of school!
9. Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharps!
10. What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school? “You’re looking sharp today!”
11. Why was the student’s report card wet? It was below “C” level!
12. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
13. Why did the student study in the airplane? Because he wanted to take a higher education.
14. What did one math book say to the other math book? “I’ve got too many problems!”
15. What’s a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!
16. What did the calculator say to the student? “You can count on me!”
17. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
18. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
19. What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
20. What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream? Sundae school.
21. Why did the student take a ladder to school? Because he thought it was high school!
22. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire? Lots of blood tests.
23. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
24. Why did the girl bring a ladder to school? Because she thought it was a high school!
25. Why did the student bring a ladder to the first day of school? Because he heard the course was going to be “uplifting”!
26. What did the ruler say to the pencil on the first day of school? “You rule!”
27. Why was the cafeteria so loud on the first day of school? Because it was full of “lunchtime chatter”!
28. Why did the clock get in trouble on the first day of school? Because it “ticked off” the teacher!
29. What did the geometry book say to the algebra book on the first day of school? “Let’s square root for each other!”
30. Why was the globe so excited on the first day of school? Because it was going to “spin” into action!
31. What did the chalk say to the board on the first day of school? “Let’s make some colorful memories!”
32. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil on the first day of school? “You look sharp!”
33. Why did the student bring a mirror to school on the first day? To reflect on their first impressions!
34. What did the janitor say to the mop on the first day of school? “Time to clean up our act!”
35. Why did the history teacher wear sunglasses to class on the first day? Because their future was so bright!
36. Why was the pencil tired on the first day of school? Because it had too much lead in its pencil!
37. What did the calculator say to the student on the first day of school? “You can count on me to solve your problems!”
38. Why was the English teacher feeling so punctual on the first day of school? Because they always knew how to use their “comma” sense!
39. What did the backpack say to the locker on the first day of school? “I’ve got your back!”
40. Why was the school lunch so gossipy on the first day? Because it had a lot of “food for thought”!

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Hilarious First Day Of School Jokes

41. Why was the notebook feeling lonely on the first day of school? Because it hadn’t been “written” in yet!
42. Why did the ruler refuse to measure anything on the first day of school? It was afraid of “ruling” anything out!
43. What did the science book say to the math book on the first day of school? “Let’s create some equations!”
44. Why was the backpack so nervous on the first day of school? Because it had a lot of weight on its shoulders!
45. Why was the stapler so popular on the first day of school? Because it always knew how to “bind” friendships!
46. Why did the eraser refuse to make any mistakes on the first day of school? It wanted to “rub” out any errors!
47. What did the notebook say to the pencil on the first day of school? “Let’s make some memories together!”
48. Why did the student wear sunglasses to school on the first day? Because they wanted to “shade” the haters!
49. What did the geometry teacher say to the misbehaving angle on the first day of school? “You’re being acute!”
50. Why was the cafeteria food feeling emotional on the first day of school? Because it was feeling a bit “grate-ful”!
51. Why was the math book feeling confident on the first day of school? Because it had all the “solutions”!
52. What did the ruler say to the pencil on the first day of school? “You’re really on point!”
53. Why did the student bring a ladder to school on the first day? Because they heard the course was going to be “uplifting”!
54. Why was the book so unhappy on the first day of school? Because it had too many characters to keep track of!
55. Why was the biology book so confident on the first day of school? Because it knew it had “good genes”!
56. Why was the student’s backpack so happy on the first day of school? Because it was finally going to “school” off all those heavy books!
57. What did the paper clip say to the staple on the first day of school? “Let’s stick together through this semester!”
58. Why did the pen go to school early on the first day? Because it wanted to be “write” on time!
59. Why was the computer so smart on the first day of school? Because it already had a lot of “byte”!
60. What did the teacher say to the student who forgot their pencil on the first day of school? “You’ve got to lead by example!”
61. Why did the notebook get a standing ovation on the first day of school? Because it had great “notes”!
62. What did the backpack say to the student on the first day of school? “I’ve got your back!”
63. Why was the calculator so good at math on the first day of school? Because it had a lot of “add”-vantage!
64. Why was the backpack so well-prepared on the first day of school? Because it had done its “homework” on organization!
65. Why did the notebook go to therapy on the first day of school? Because it had too many unresolved issues!
66. What did the science book say to the math book on the first day of school? “You can count on me for support!”
67. Why did the student take a ladder to school on the first day? Because they wanted to aim high!
68. What did the ruler say to the pencil sharpener on the first day of school? “You’ve got a point!”
69. Why did the math book look so sad on the first day of school? Because it knew its days were numbered!
70. Why did the backpack get detention on the first day of school? Because it was carrying too much baggage!
71. What did the clock do at lunchtime on the first day of school? It went back for seconds!
72. Why did the student bring a dictionary to class on the first day of school? Because they wanted to expand their vocabulary!
73. What did the gym teacher say to the ball on the first day of school? “Let’s bounce into this semester!”
74. Why did the pencil case blush on the first day of school? Because it saw the eraser strip!
75. Why was the history teacher always looking to the past on the first day of school? Because they couldn’t stop dwelling on old memories!
76. What did the math teacher say when the student asked for help on the first day of school? “You’ll figure it out!”
77. Why did the student wear headphones to school on the first day? Because they wanted to tune out the drama!
78. Why was the backpack feeling confident on the first day of school? Because it was packed with all the essentials!
79. What did the biology teacher say to the plant on the first day of school? “Grow with me this semester!”
80. Why did the pencil go to school early on the first day? Because it wanted to sharpen its skills!

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Best First Day Of School Jokes

81. Why did the student feel electrified on the first day of school? Because they were amped up for learning!
82. What did the ruler say to the calculator on the first day of school? “Let’s measure up to success!”
83. Why did the lunchbox feel relieved on the first day of school? Because it knew it wouldn’t be empty for long!
84. What did the backpack say to the student on the first day of school? “Let’s carry each other through this semester!”
85. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses on the first day of school? Because her students were so bright!
86. Why was the math book sad on the first day of school? It had too many problems.
87. What did the student say when asked about the first day of school? “It was a real page-turner!”
88. Why did the pencil get detention on the first day of school? Because it kept drawing attention to itself!
89. Why did the tomato turn red on the first day of school? It saw the salad dressing!
90. Why did the student study in the airplane? Because they wanted to take a higher education.
91. What did one math book say to the other? “I’ve got too many problems!”
92. What did the desk say to the chair on the first day of school? “You really support me!”
93. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire on the first day of school? Frostbite!
94. Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because he thought it was high school!
95. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!
96. Why did the student take a ladder to school on the first day? Because they heard the school was raising the bar!
97. What did the math book say to the student on the first day of school? “I’ve got problems, but together we can solve them!”
98. Why was the cafeteria food so excited on the first day of school? Because it was ready to make new friends in stomachs!
99. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil on the first day of school? “Let’s sharpen our minds and make a point!”
100. Why did the student bring a beach chair to school on the first day? Because they heard it was going to be a “shore” thing!
101. Why did the biology textbook feel nervous on the first day? Because it had butterflies in its appendix!
102. What did the clock say to the calendar on the first day of school? “I’ve got my hands full keeping up with you!”
103. Why was the geography teacher always lost on the first day of school? Because they couldn’t find their bearings!
104. What did the backpack say to the student on the first day of school? “Let’s pack in some knowledge and make this year unforgettable!”
105. Why did the ruler refuse to measure anything on the first day? It didn’t want to start any long relationships!
106. What did the pencil say to the eraser on the first day of school? “You’re my partner in ‘write’ing wrongs!”
107. Why did the student bring a map to school on the first day? Because they didn’t want to get “lost” in the syllabus!
108. Why did the music teacher bring a ladder to class on the first day? Because they wanted to reach the high notes!
109. What did the backpack say to the locker on the first day of school? “I’ve got your back, don’t worry about a thing!”
110. Why did the computer go to school on the first day? It wanted to increase its byte size!
111. What did the scissors say to the glue on the first day of school? “Let’s stick together, we make a great pair!”
112. Why did the history teacher bring a shovel to school on the first day? Because they wanted to dig up some ancient history!
113. Why did the student sit on an alphabet soup can on the first day? They wanted to feel like they were in the “soup”-erior class!
114. What did the backpack say to the pencil case on the first day? “You’ve got some ‘write’ stuff in you!”
115. Why did the student wear sunglasses to school on the first day? Because their future was looking bright!

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Jokes About 2nd Grader

Jokes About 1st Grade

Conclusion

The first day of school may bring nerves and uncertainties, but it’s also a time for laughter and bonding. These jokes remind us that even in the midst of new beginnings, there’s always room for a good chuckle.

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