120+ London Jokes: Big Ben-tastic Humor & Tickling Laughter

Introduction

Step into the world of British humor with our side-splitting collection of 120+ London jokes. From iconic landmarks to quirky street scenes, these jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone. 

Whether you’re a tea-drinking enthusiast or just a fan of cheeky puns, our London-themed jokes will transport you to the heart of the UK’s capital city. So, grab a cuppa and get ready to laugh your way through London!

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London Jokes: A Capital of Chuckles

1. Why did the double-decker bus go to therapy? It had too many upper-deck issues!
2. What do you call a British train that’s having a bad day? The London Blunderground.
3. Why did Big Ben start a band? Because he had the perfect sense of “tock” and roll!
4. How does a Londoner greet you during a heatwave? “It’s tea-rrible weather, isn’t it?”
5. Why was the computer cold in London? It left its Windows open!
6. What did one London telephone booth say to the other? “I’m just a little booth!”
7. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
8. What do you get if you cross the Queen and a famous London clock? A royal-tick-tock!
9. Why did the London pigeon sit on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
10. How do Londoners stay cool in the summer? They use the “Westminister” cooling system!
11. What do you call a Londoner who becomes a gardener? Plant-Elizabeth!
12. Why did the London street musician go to jail? He got caught “bussing” tunes without a license!
13. What’s a Londoner’s favorite type of math? “Thames”-tics!
14. Why did the Londoner become an astronaut? He wanted to visit the “Milky” Way!
15. What do Londoners use to catch fish? Big “Ben” nets!
16. Why did the fish blush near the Thames? It saw the “bank” and got embarrassed!
17. How do Londoners exercise in the park? They do the “Royal Jog!”
18. What’s a Londoner’s favorite dance move? The “Double-Decker Dip!”
19. Why did the tomato turn red in London? Because it saw the “tube” approaching!
20. What’s Big Ben’s favorite dessert? Toffee “towers”!
21. Why did the Londoner get a boat? He wanted to “dock”ument his travels!
22. Why did the London broom go to school? It wanted to sweep up some “knowledge”!
23. What did one London building say to the other? “I’m falling for you!”
24. Why did the bicycle go to London? It heard the streets were “wheelie” good!
25. What do you call a Londoner who loves art? A “Piccadilly” painter!
26. Why was the London tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing in the “Westend”!
27. What do Londoners use to fix their computers? “Tower” drivers!
28. Why did the Londoner become a gardener? He wanted to “Buckingham” bloom!
29. What’s a Londoner’s favorite kind of soup? “Thames” and vegetable!
30. Why did the London cat sit by the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the “mouse”!
31. What did the London chimney say to the smoke? “You’re going places, kid!”
32. Why did the London bus get a ticket? It couldn’t “fare” well with traffic laws!

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Laughing All the Way to London

33. What do Londoners use to clean their floors? “Buckingham” brooms!
34. Why did the computer go to London? It wanted to visit the “web”!
35. What’s a Londoner’s favorite outdoor activity? “Tower” climbing!
36. Why did the London chef become a gardener? He wanted to “grow”metables!
37. What do you call a Londoner who’s always cold? A “Chilly” mate!
38. Why did the London bicycle go to school? It wanted to learn about “cycle” graphs!
39. What’s a Londoner’s favorite game? “Westminster” puzzles!
40. Why did the tomato turn red on the London street? Because it saw the “crossing” sauce!
41. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite dance? “The Thames Swing”!
42. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the theater? To catch a “balcony” view!
43. What’s a Londoner’s favorite fruit? “The Big Ben”ana!
44. Why did the computer move to London? It wanted a byte of the “British” experience!
45. What did the Londoner say to the computer? “You’re a real byte of alright!”
46. Why did the tomato blush near the London Bridge? It saw the “towering” heights!
47. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite pet? A “Yeoman” cat!
48. Why did the bicycle go to the London museum? To learn about “wheel” history!
49. What’s a Londoner’s favorite game show? “The Big Ben”go!
50. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the library? To catch up on some “high” reading!
51. What do Londoners use to keep their drinks cold? “Tower” refrigerators!
52. Why did the tomato turn red on the London bus? Because it saw the “traffic” jam!
53. What’s a Londoner’s favorite way to relax? “Thames”-ming in a hot tub!
54. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the zoo? To see the “tall” animals up close!
55. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite sport? “Tower” climbing!
56. Why did the computer blush in London? It saw the “firewall”!
57. What’s a Londoner’s favorite hairstyle? “The Double-Decker ‘Do”!
58. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the bakery? To get some “high” buns!
59. What do Londoners use to clean their windows? “Buckingham” wipes!
60. Why did the tomato blush at the London Eye? It saw the “wheel”-ationship views!
61. What’s a Londoner’s favorite card game? “Tower” Solitaire!
62. Why did the computer go to London’s parks? To “network” with nature!
63. What do Londoners use to catch butterflies? “Westminster” nets!
64. Why did the tomato turn red near the London Eye? It saw the “romantic” scenery!

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London Humor: Big Ben, Big Grins

65. What’s a Londoner’s favorite breakfast? “Big Ben” muffins!
66. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the cinema? To catch a “balcony” movie!
67. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite song? “Thames” tunes!
68. Why did the tomato blush at the London park? It saw the “picnic” potential!
69. What’s a Londoner’s favorite dessert? “The Queen’s Crown” cake!
70. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the coffee shop? To get a “tall” latte!
71. What do Londoners use to clean their cars? “Buckingham” brushes!
72. Why did the tomato blush near the London Eye? It saw the “romantic” sunset!
73. What’s a Londoner’s favorite fairy tale? “Tower”-ella!
74. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the gym? To try some “high” exercises!
75. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite TV show? “Thames” of Thrones!
76. Why did the tomato blush in front of Buckingham Palace? It saw the “royal” guards!
77. What’s a Londoner’s favorite flower? “The Big Ben” tulip!
78. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the concert? To get a “top-tier” view!
79. What do Londoners use to water their gardens? “Tower” hoses!
80. Why did the tomato blush near the London Eye at night? It saw the “wheel”-uminated view!
81. What’s a Londoner’s favorite board game? “Monop”london!
82. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the bakery? To reach the “upper crust”!
83. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite movie? “The Big Ben” Hur!
84. Why did the tomato blush near the Thames River? It saw the “sauce” of its embarrassment!
85. What’s a Londoner’s favorite ice cream flavor? “Crown”berry swirl!
86. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the fashion show? To catch some “high” fashion!
87. What do Londoners use to clean their kitchens? “Buckingham” sponges!
88. Why did the tomato blush near the London Eye during a storm? It saw the “electric” atmosphere!
89. What’s a Londoner’s favorite candy? “Big Ben” lollipops!
90. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the pet store? To adopt a “top-tier” pet!
91. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite book? “The Tale of Two Cities”!
92. Why did the tomato blush in front of the Tower Bridge? It saw the “majestic” architecture!
93. What’s a Londoner’s favorite sandwich? “The Queen’s Delight”!
94. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the photography studio? To get a “heightened” portrait!
95. What do Londoners use to light their homes? “Tower” candles!
96. Why did the tomato blush near the London Eye during a fireworks display? It saw the “sparkling” sky!

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London Wit: Tea and Laughter Served

97. What’s a Londoner’s favorite pizza topping? “Big Ben” peppers!
98. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the theater? To see the “top” actors in action!
99. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite holiday? “Thames”-giving!
100. Why did the tomato blush near the Tower of London? It saw the “crown jewels”!
101. What’s a Londoner’s favorite fruit salad? “Big Ben”ana split!
102. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the zoo? To see the “top” animals up close!
103. What do Londoners use to keep warm? “Tower” blankets!
104. Why did the tomato blush near the London Eye on New Year’s Eve? It saw the “festive” lights!
105. What’s a Londoner’s favorite drink? “The Queen’s Tea”!
106. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the museum? To get a “heightened” view of history!
107. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite dessert? “Thames” pie!
108. Why did the tomato blush near Buckingham Palace? It saw the “royal” guards!
109. What’s a Londoner’s favorite cereal? “Big Ben” Crunch!
110. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the beach? To catch a “high” tide!
111. What do Londoners use to clean their windows? “Tower” rags!
112. Why did the tomato blush near the London Eye during a concert? It saw the “rocking” crowd!
113. What’s a Londoner’s favorite sandwich spread? “The Queen’s Jam”!
114. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the amusement park? To catch a “heightened” thrill!
115. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite play? “The Big Ben”efactor!
116. Why did the tomato blush near the Tower Bridge at sunset? It saw the “romantic” hues!
117. What’s a Londoner’s favorite party snack? “Tower”ing nachos!
118. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the art gallery? To see the “top-tier” masterpieces!
119. What do Londoners use to clean their cars? “Buckingham” cloths!
120. Why did the tomato blush near the London Eye during a magic show? It saw the “mesmerizing” tricks!
121. What’s a Londoner’s favorite smoothie ingredient? “The Big Blend” of fruits!
122. Why did the Londoner bring a ladder to the park? To catch a “heightened” breeze!
123. What do you call a Londoner’s favorite snack? “Thames” mix!
124. Why did the tomato blush near the London Eye during a parade? It saw the “colorful” floats!
125. What’s a Londoner’s favorite pizza crust? “The Queen’s Dough”!

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Conclusion

We hope you’ve had a jolly good time enjoying our London jokes! Laughter knows no borders, and these puns and gags have certainly added a touch of British wit to your day. From double-decker buses to Buckingham Palace, these jokes have taken you on a comedic tour of London’s finest. 

Keep the laughter going and share these jokes with friends—after all, humor is the universal language that brings us all together!

FAQs

Absolutely! We’ve crafted these jokes to be family-friendly and enjoyable for jokesters of all ages.