97+ Handyman Jokes That’ll Nail Your Sense of Humor

Introduction

Handymen and handywomen are the unsung heroes of home improvement, tackling everything from leaky faucets to wobbly shelves. Their work often involves unexpected surprises, and what better way to celebrate their endeavors than with a hearty dose of humor? 

In this article, we’ve rounded up a toolbox full of handyman-themed jokes and one-liners that are sure to leave you chuckling. So, let’s roll up our sleeves and dive into a world of DIY humor that even Tim “The Toolman” Taylor would appreciate!

Read More: Jokes About Architecture

Handyman Jokes

1. Why did the handyman bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What’s a handyman’s favorite type of math? Ply-geometry!
3. Why did the screwdriver go to therapy? Because it had too many issues to unscrew!
4. What did the hammer say to the nail during their argument? “You’re such a pointed individual!”
5. Why did the handyman bring a pencil to the job? In case he needed to draw his own conclusions!
6. What’s a handyman’s favorite dance move? The “fix” step!
7. Why did the level get an award? Because it always stayed “balanced” in tough situations!
8. Why did the saw become a stand-up comedian? Because it knew how to “cut” up the audience!
9. What do you call a handyman who’s also a chef? A “jack of all trades”!
10. Why was the wrench always so serious? Because it didn’t find plumbing jokes “pipe”-larious!
11. What’s a handyman’s favorite type of music? Rock ‘n’ Roll!
12. Why did the tape measure apply for a job as a detective? Because it was great at “measuring” up the situation!
13. Why did the drill go to the art gallery? To see some “bore”-gous paintings!
14. What do you call a handyman with a lot of fans? A “screw”-perstar!
15. Why did the pliers feel so lonely? Because they couldn’t find anyone to “grip” with!
16. What’s a handyman’s favorite book genre? DIY Mysteries!
17. Why did the tape measure always give great advice? Because it knew how to “measure” up the situation!
18. What did the wrench say to the bolt? “You really ‘screw’ things up sometimes!”
19. Why did the handyman go to the beach? To “sand” down and relax!
20. What’s a handyman’s favorite game at the arcade? Whack-a-Mole!
21. Why did the ladder apply for a job in Hollywood? Because it wanted to climb the ladder of fame!
22. What do you call a handyman who loves puns? A “tool”-erific comedian!
23. Why did the pliers become a lifeguard? Because they knew how to “rescue” the situation!
24. What’s a handyman’s favorite planet? Mars—for its red toolbox!
25. Why was the tape measure so confident? Because it had a lot of “lengthy” achievements!
26. What do you call a handyman who’s always on time? Punctual!
27. Why did the screwdriver go to the gym? To tighten up its physique!
28. What’s a handyman’s favorite game to play with friends? “Toolbox Tic-Tac-Toe”!
29. Why did the level apply for a job as a therapist? Because it knew how to “balance” emotions!
30. What do you call a handyman who’s a master of disguise? A “handy” chameleon!
31. Why did the drill always feel so “upbeat”? Because it had a lot of “spirited” enthusiasm!
32. What’s a handyman’s favorite mode of transportation? The “wrench”!
33. Why did the hammer go to the gym? To work on its “hit” fitness!
34. What do you call a handyman who’s great at fixing cars? An “auto”-dexterous mechanic!
35. Why did the tape measure always have a great sense of direction? Because it knew how to “measure” up the road!
36. What’s a handyman’s favorite type of cookie? Nut and “bolt”!
37. Why did the ladder apply for a job as a firefighter? Because it wanted to “climb” to the top!
38. What do you call a handyman who loves the beach? A “shore” thing!
39. Why did the pliers become a musician? Because they had great “grip” on rhythm!
40. What’s a handyman’s favorite superhero? “The Fixer”!

Read More: Jokes About Landscaping

Hilarious Handyman One-Liners

41. Why did the saw get an award? Because it always “cut” straight to the point!
42. What do you call a handyman who’s a great storyteller? A “tool” of imagination!
43. Why was the tape measure always the life of the party? Because it knew how to “measure” up the fun!
44. What’s a handyman’s favorite animal? The “wrench”-er spaniel!
45. Why did the ladder always have a positive outlook? Because it knew how to “climb” over obstacles!
46. What do you call a handyman who’s great at solving mysteries? A “tool” detective!
47. Why did the pliers become a gardener? Because they knew how to “prune” and “clip”!
48. What’s a handyman’s favorite childhood game? “Hide and Tool-Seek”!
49. Why did the tape measure always feel confident? Because it had great “measure” of self-esteem!
50. What do you call a handyman who’s great at math? A “fraction” expert!
51. Why did the tape measure get into a fight with the level? They couldn’t find common ground!
52. What do you call a handyman who loves the ocean? A “tool”-boat captain!
53. Why did the hammer apply for a job as a judge? Because it knew how to “bang” the gavel!
54. What’s a handyman’s favorite way to relax? Watching DIY TV shows!
55. Why did the screwdriver always get the last word in arguments? Because it had a “point” to make!
56. What do you call a handyman who loves to travel? A “tool”-rist!
57. Why did the tape measure enroll in a dance class? To learn some “measured” moves!
58. What’s a handyman’s favorite holiday? Labor Day!
59. Why did the wrench become a superhero? Because it had the power to “fix” anything!
60. What do you call a handyman who’s great at magic tricks? A “tool”-usionist!
61. Why did the level become a therapist? Because it knew how to “balance” emotions!
62. What’s a handyman’s favorite comedy show? “Home Improvement”!
63. Why did the saw always have sharp wit? Because it could “cut” to the chase!
64. What do you call a handyman who loves to sing? A “tool”-eroid!
65. Why did the pliers get a promotion at work? Because they knew how to “squeeze” success!
66. What’s a handyman’s favorite type of weather? Screw-tahoe!
67. Why did the tape measure always stay calm under pressure? Because it had a “measured” response!
68. What do you call a handyman who’s a fan of classic literature? A “tool”-stoyevsky!
69. Why did the wrench go to the costume party? To be a “tool” of disguise!
70. What’s a handyman’s favorite type of sandwich? A “sub”-contractor!
71. Why did the ladder always have a great view of the situation? Because it knew how to “climb” up!
72. What do you call a handyman who’s also a gardener? A “tool”-nurturer!
73. Why did the tape measure always stay organized? Because it knew how to “measure” things out!
74. What’s a handyman’s favorite instrument? The “saw”-xophone!
75. Why did the pliers become a motivational speaker? Because they knew how to “grip” the audience’s attention!
76. What do you call a handyman who’s great at math? A “tool”-timathician!
77. Why did the ladder become a tour guide? Because it could “step” up to the challenge!
78. What’s a handyman’s favorite type of fruit? A “ruler”-berry!
79. Why did the tape measure always have great timing? Because it knew how to “measure” moments!
80. What do you call a handyman who’s great at solving puzzles? A “tool”-verine!

Read More: Jokes About OSHA

Funny Handyman Jokes

81. Why did the wrench go to the gym? To work on its “grip” strength!
82. What’s a handyman’s favorite type of bird? A “saw”-sparrow!
83. Why did the level become a philosopher? Because it could “balance” complex ideas!
84. What do you call a handyman who’s great at chemistry? A “tool”-ionic bond!
85. Why did the tape measure become a detective? Because it knew how to “unravel” mysteries!
86. What’s a handyman’s favorite dance style? The “screw”-mba!
87. Why did the ladder apply for a job in construction? Because it was tired of just hanging around!
88. What do you call a handyman who’s also a painter? A “tool”-tist!
89. Why did the screwdriver go to the beach? To “drive” home some relaxation!
90. What’s a handyman’s favorite dessert? Saw-berry pie!
91. Why did the tape measure apply for a job as a musician? Because it wanted to “measure” musical notes!
92. What do you call a handyman who’s great at meditation? A “tool”-dhist!
93. Why did the ladder always have a strong presence? Because it knew how to “stand” tall!
94. What’s a handyman’s favorite constellation? The “Tool”-rius!
95. Why did the tape measure start its own band? Because it wanted to “measure” up to the competition!
96. What do you call a handyman who’s also a detective? A “tool”-ver investigator!
97. Why did the wrench go to the comedy club? Because it wanted to “turn” some wrenching stories into laughter!
98. What’s a handyman’s favorite type of fruit? A “grip”-e!
99. Why did the tape measure get a degree in engineering? Because it had the “measure” of things!
100. What do you call a handyman who’s great at fishing? A “tool”-erfisher!

Read More: 

Jokes About Sewing

Jokes About Truck Driving

Conclusion

Handymen and handywomen play a crucial role in keeping our homes in tip-top shape, and they often do so with a smile and a sense of humor. These handyman jokes celebrate the world of DIY and the amusing situations that can arise while working on home improvement projects. 

So, next time you’re tackling a DIY task or seeking the help of a handyman, remember to share a laugh—it’s the best tool in the toolbox!

FAQs

Are these jokes suitable to share with a handyman? 

Absolutely! Handymen and handywomen often have a great sense of humor and will appreciate these jokes during a project.

Can I use these jokes to break the ice with a handyman I’ve just hired? 

Yes, sharing a joke or two can create a friendly and relaxed atmosphere while discussing your home improvement needs.

Why do handymen often have a good sense of humor? 

Working in various homes and tackling unexpected challenges can develop a great sense of humor as a coping mechanism.