173+ Funny Little Johnny Jokes To Brighten Your Day

Introduction

Everyone loves a good laugh, and Little Johnny jokes have been making people chuckle for years. These classic jokes often revolve around the misadventures and innocent, yet cheeky, comments of a young boy named Little Johnny.

Whether you’re in need of a pick-me-up or just want to share a laugh with friends and family, this collection of over 173+ Little Johnny one-liners is sure to do the trick. So, get ready to giggle as we dive into the world of Little Johnny jokes!

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Little Johnny Jokes

Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school? Because he thought it was high school!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If you have one dollar and you ask your father for another, how many dollars will you have?” Little Johnny replied, “One dollar.” The teacher, confused, asked again. Johnny grinned, “Well, my dad would just give me a lecture on the importance of saving!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “It’s ‘may I,’ not ‘can I.'” Little Johnny said, “Okay, May I go to the bathroom for a minute?”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the tall peacocks!
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Do you punish kids for something they didn’t do?” The teacher replied, “Of course not!” Johnny sighed in relief, “Good, because I didn’t do my homework!”
What did Little Johnny say when he met the queen? “Your highness, can I borrow your crown for a day?”
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your money in the blender?” Johnny replied, “I wanted to make liquid assets!”
Why was Little Johnny’s math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
Little Johnny told his friend, “I can make anyone cry with just one word.” His friend challenged him, “Go ahead, try it!” Johnny said, “Homework.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to the restaurant? Because he wanted to have a food coma!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the past tense of ‘think’?” Johnny answered, “I thought.”
What did Little Johnny say to the computer? “Google, why don’t you understand me like my mom does?”
Little Johnny asked his dad, “Can you put my shoes on?” His dad replied, “I don’t think they’ll fit me!” Johnny said, “Exactly, I can’t either!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to go to the next chapter!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the shortest month?” Johnny replied, “May, because it only has three letters!”
What did Little Johnny do when he found out his pencil was broken? He used his ‘pointed’ sense of humor!
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can you give me a sentence with ‘defense’ in it?” The teacher replied, “Certainly. ‘When a criminal goes to court, he hires an attorney for his defense.'” Johnny nodded and said, “But why do they call it ‘de fence’ when it’s really ‘de attack’?”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the gym? Because he heard it was a great way to get ahead in fitness!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why are you cutting the clock in half?” Johnny replied, “To make time fly!”
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a bag of sugar? “Hey, look, it’s a sweet ‘selfie’!”
Little Johnny told his friend, “I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the concert? Because he wanted to see the band from a ‘higher note’!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What comes after 10?” Johnny confidently said, “Eleven.” The teacher smiled and asked, “And what comes after 20?” Johnny replied, “Dinner!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bakery? Because he wanted to get a taste of the high-quality bread!
Little Johnny asked his dad, “Can you help me with my math homework?” His dad replied, “Sure, son. What’s the problem?” Johnny said, “I don’t understand women.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the garden? Because he wanted to see the root of the problem!
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?” The teacher replied, “No, of course not.” Johnny grinned, “I knew it, houses don’t jump!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a penny? “I must be on the right track!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why are you wearing your raincoat inside?” Johnny replied, “I wanted to catch up on my indoor rainforest.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to catch the high tide!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If you had one wish, what would it be?” Johnny replied, “I wish I had more wishes!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a banana in his ear? “I’m not sure, but I think I might need a hearing aid!”
Little Johnny asked his dad, “What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?” His dad replied, “Snowballs.” Johnny giggled.
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because he heard they had great deals on ‘shelf’ items!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Can anyone tell me what the 7 wonders of the world are?” Johnny raised his hand and said, “Of course! To see, hear, touch, taste, smell, feel, and love.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a book on anti-gravity? “I can’t put it down!”
Little Johnny told his friend, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he heard the film was a real ‘cliffhanger’!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why are you wearing two different shoes?” Johnny replied, “Because I couldn’t decide which foot was my favorite.”

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Hilarious Little Johnny Jokes

What did Little Johnny say when he saw a tree with no leaves? “It’s undressed!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “How do you make holy water?” The teacher replied, “You boil the hell out of it!” Johnny nodded, “I should’ve known!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the football game? Because he wanted to catch a touchdown!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” Johnny answered, “The ability to finish my homework in one second.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a quarter on the ground? “I’m in the money!”
Little Johnny told his friend, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s uplifting!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the circus? Because he wanted to see the ‘high-wire’ act up close!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why are you wearing a winter coat in the summer?” Johnny replied, “I heard it was going to be chili today.”
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a pig playing the piano? “Man, that’s one talented musician!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can you give me a sentence with ‘irony’ in it?” The teacher replied, “Sure. ‘The fire station burned down.'” Johnny chuckled, “That’s ironic!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the art gallery? Because he wanted to get a ‘higher’ perspective on the paintings!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the longest word you know?” Johnny replied, “Smiles, because there’s a mile between the first and last letters!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a donut on the sidewalk? “I doughnut believe my luck!”
Little Johnny told his friend, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s really ‘out of this world’!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bakery? Because he heard the bread was rising!
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can you call my parents? I need help with my math.” The teacher asked, “Why?” Johnny replied, “Because they’re the ones who said, ‘Do the math yourself!'”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a can opener? “I think I just stumbled upon the secret to the universe!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why are you wearing a snorkel in the bathtub?” Johnny replied, “In case the water gets deep!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the music concert? Because he wanted to be in harmony with the band!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If you had one superpower, what would it be?” Johnny said, “The power to eat all the candy without getting a tummy ache.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a broken pencil? “This joke is pointless!”
Little Johnny told his friend, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? Because he heard the giraffes were talking behind his back!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why is your backpack so heavy?” Johnny replied, “I packed for the zombie apocalypse.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a spoon in his shoe? “I guess I’m having a ‘sole’ food day!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Why did the math book look sad?” The teacher replied, “I don’t know, Johnny. Why?” Johnny said, “Because it had too many problems.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the ice cream parlor? Because he wanted to try the ‘top shelf’ flavors!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the capital of France?” Johnny answered, “F.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a ghost in his closet? “How’d you fit in there with all my old toys?”
Little Johnny told his friend, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s uplifting!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the park? Because he heard the swings were out of this world!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why are you wearing a bicycle helmet at the dinner table?” Johnny replied, “I heard this meal was going to be a real crash!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a carrot in his backpack? “Someone must have mistaken my bag for a rabbit hole!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Why did the tomato turn red?” The teacher said, “Because it saw the salad dressing!” Johnny giggled, “That’s a good one!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he wanted to catch the end credits!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the tallest animal in the world?” Johnny confidently replied, “The giraffe… unless they’re sitting down!”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a rubber duck in his bathtub? “Quackers! I must be going mad!”
Little Johnny told his friend, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s a real page-turner!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the farm? Because he heard the cows were jumping over the moon!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?” A: Little Johnny replied, “One dollar.” The teacher, puzzled, asked why. Little Johnny said, “Because my dad wouldn’t give me any!”

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Funny Little Johnny One-Liners

What did Little Johnny say when he found out he was going to be a big brother? “Oh no, not another one!”
Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “What do you want for your birthday, Johnny?” He replied, “A big cake.” She asked, “Is that all?” Johnny said, “No, I’d also like a small cake.”
What did Little Johnny do when he saw a banana peel on the sidewalk? He stepped over it and said, “I’m not falling for that one again!”
Little Johnny came home from school and announced, “Mom, I got a 100 in math today!” His mom was delighted and asked, “That’s amazing! What did you get right?” Johnny replied, “Two plus two.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to go to high school!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If you had five apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Johnny replied, “Five.” The teacher was puzzled and asked why. Johnny said, “Because I haven’t given you one yet!”
What did Little Johnny say when he lost his homework? “The dog ate my homework, and then the cat used it as a litter box!”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the nurse? I have a sore throat.” The teacher replied, “Alright, but only if you can spell ‘sore throat’ correctly.” Johnny thought for a moment and then said, “Never mind, I’ll just go to the nurse for a headache.”
Why did Little Johnny put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your report card in the blender?” Johnny replied, “Because you told me it was a piece of cake!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the cookie store? Because he wanted to get to the high shelf!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your shoes in the oven?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to make sole food.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found a quarter on the sidewalk? “I just made 25 cents worth of noise!”
Little Johnny told his teacher, “I need to go to the bathroom.” The teacher said, “Can you hold it?” Johnny replied, “Not if you keep asking me questions!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the fruit market? Because he wanted to go pear picking!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What comes after 9?” Johnny replied, “10.” The teacher asked, “That’s correct, but how did you know?” Johnny said, “Well, it’s the next number, so it just made sense.”
Why did Little Johnny put his watch in the blender? Because he wanted to make time fly!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you bring a ladder to the garage?” Johnny replied, “Because I heard the car needed a jump start!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater? Because he wanted to see the film from a higher perspective!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the capital of France?” Johnny replied, “F.” The teacher said, “No, Johnny, it’s Paris.” Johnny said, “But you told us it’s always best to capitalize!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the restaurant? Because he heard the food was out of this world!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your shoes in the refrigerator?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to have cool kicks.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bank? Because he wanted to check his balance!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the past tense of ‘think’?” Johnny replied, “I thought.” The teacher asked, “That’s correct, but what’s the past tense of ‘drink’?” Johnny said, “Um, ‘drunk’?” The teacher corrected him, “No, it’s ‘drank’.” Johnny shrugged and said, “Well, nobody thinks about what they drank.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the garden? Because he wanted to see the root of the problem!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your shirt in the toaster?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted a pop-up collar.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the shoe store? Because he wanted to try on some high heels!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “If a plane crashed on the border of the United States and Canada, where would the survivors be buried?“ Johnny replied, “Nowhere, you don’t bury survivors!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the giraffes eye to eye!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the washing machine?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to have a clean slate.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the art gallery? Because he wanted to get a closer look at the ‘high art’!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the difference between ‘ignorance’ and ‘apathy’?” Johnny replied, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the science lab? Because he wanted to see what was cooking!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your phone in the blender?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to make a call and it said it had no reception.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the music concert? Because he wanted to get closer to the high notes!

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Best Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the bathtub?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to have a ‘wet pack.'”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bakery? Because he wanted to get a ‘rise’ out of the bakers!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the formula for water?” Johnny replied, “H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.” The teacher asked, “Where’s the ‘D’?” Johnny said, “It’s outside the classroom!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the circus? Because he wanted to see the high-wire act up close!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your computer in the oven?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to bake a website.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the gym? Because he heard they had ‘high-impact’ exercises!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your homework in the freezer?” Johnny replied, “Because the teacher said it needed to be ‘chilled’ before I could turn it in.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the golf course? Because he wanted to improve his ‘swing’!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the largest mammal?” Johnny replied, “The blue whale.” The teacher asked, “And where do you find it?” Johnny said, “On a blue whale.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the airport? Because he wanted to catch a flight!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your shoes in the dishwasher?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to clean my sole.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the fire station? Because he wanted to see the ‘high’ firefighters!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your wallet in the blender?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to make some liquid assets!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because he heard the prices were through the roof!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the smallest unit of time?” Johnny replied, “The minute you finish your presentation.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to catch some high tide!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your socks in the microwave?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted them to be a little toasty.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the theater? Because he heard the actors were in the spotlight!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the washing machine again?” Johnny replied, “Because I thought it was a ‘wash’ing machine!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the restaurant? Because he heard the food was on another level!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the capital of Italy?” Johnny replied, “I.” The teacher corrected him, “No, it’s Rome.” Johnny said, “But I was told all roads lead to ‘I’!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to go to high school… again!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your shoes in the washing machine?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to have a ‘clean step’ program.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the amusement park? Because he wanted to get on the roller coaster’s ‘high score’ list!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the bathtub… again?” Johnny replied, “Because I thought it was a ‘bath’ pack!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the circus? Because he wanted to see the trapeze artists from a ‘higher’ perspective!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the difference between ‘complete’ and ‘finished’?” Johnny replied, “When you marry the right person, you’re complete. When you marry the wrong one, you’re finished.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bakery? Because he wanted to ‘rise’ to the occasion!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your smartphone in the blender?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to make some ‘cell’ular smoothie.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the pet store? Because he wanted to meet the ‘high’ly recommended pets!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the dryer?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to have a ‘dry pack’.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the construction site? Because he wanted to apply for the ‘highly’ sought-after job!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the largest planet in our solar system?” Johnny replied, “Jupiter.” The teacher asked, “And what’s the smallest?” Johnny said, “Pluto.” The teacher corrected him, “But Pluto isn’t even a planet!” Johnny replied, “That’s what you think!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the garden center? Because he wanted to get to the ‘root’ of the problem!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your laptop in the bathtub?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to ‘download’ some knowledge.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the fashion show? Because he wanted to see the ‘high’ fashion!
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the fruit market again? Because he wanted to reach the ‘top banana’!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the smallest country in the world?” Johnny replied, “The one with the least land.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the movie theater again? Because he wanted to get a ‘higher view’ of the film!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your socks in the oven again?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted ‘hot feet’.”

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Little Johnny Puns

Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bakery once more? Because he wanted to ‘rise’ to the occasion… yet again!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the dishwasher?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to have a ‘clean pack’.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the amusement park again? Because he wanted to get on the roller coaster’s ‘high score’ list… one more time!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the capital of Spain?” Johnny replied, “S.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach once more? Because he wanted to catch even more ‘high tide’!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your shoes in the microwave again?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted them ‘toasty’.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the theater again? Because he wanted to see the actors in the ‘high light’!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the washing machine again?” Johnny replied, “Because I thought it was a ‘wash’ing machine!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the restaurant again? Because he heard the food was ‘top-notch’!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the opposite of ‘early’?” Johnny replied, “Late.” The teacher asked, “And what’s the opposite of ‘death’?” Johnny said, “Life.” The teacher asked, “Well, what’s the opposite of ‘worry’?” Johnny replied, “Don’t worry.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the garden center again? Because he wanted to get to the ‘root’ of the problem… once more!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your computer in the microwave again?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to have ‘hot tech’.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the construction site again? Because he wanted to apply for the ‘highly’ sought-after job… again!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the freezer again?” Johnny replied, “Because I thought it was a ‘cool pack’… again!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the circus once more? Because he wanted to get a ‘higher view’ of the clowns!
Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the fastest thing in the universe?” Johnny replied, “A rumor.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the beach again? Because he wanted to build a ‘sandcastle in the sky’!
Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you put your shoes in the microwave once more?” Johnny replied, “Because I wanted them ‘extra toasty’.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the theater once more? Because he wanted to see the actors in the ‘high light’… again!
Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why did you put your backpack in the washing machine once more?” Johnny replied, “Because I thought it was a ‘wash’ing machine… again!”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the restaurant once more? Because he heard the food was ‘top-notch’… once more!

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Conclusion

Little Johnny jokes never go out of style. They offer a timeless source of humor that brings smiles to faces young and old. These jokes capture the essence of childhood innocence, mischief, and the amusing way children perceive the world.

The next time you need a good laugh or want to brighten someone’s day, remember these Little Johnny one-liners. They’re a guaranteed way to spread joy and laughter.

FAQs

Are Little Johnny jokes suitable for all ages?

Yes, Little Johnny jokes are generally family-friendly and can be enjoyed by people of all ages.

Can I share these jokes at a family gathering or with friends?

Absolutely! Little Johnny jokes are perfect for sharing at social gatherings to lighten the mood and make people laugh.

Can Little Johnny jokes be used in a stand-up comedy routine?

Absolutely! Many comedians incorporate Little Johnny jokes into their routines to engage their audience and get laughs.

173+ Funny Little Johnny Jokes to Brighten Your Day