121+ Hilarious Nautical Jokes: Sail Away with Laughter!

Introduction

Ahoy there, matey! Welcome aboard our ship of humor as we embark on a laughter-filled voyage with a treasure trove of nautical jokes. Whether you’re a landlubber or a seasoned sailor, these maritime quips and puns are sure to tickle your funny bone. 

From pirates to mermaids, and everything in between, get ready to set sail on a sea of laughter with our collection of nautical humor.

Read more: Cruise Jokes

Nautical Chuckles Ahoy

1. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the ship? Because he wanted to go to the next level!
2. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
3. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s ‘R,’ but it be the ‘C’ they love.
4. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
5. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
6. Why did the sailor become an archaeologist? He wanted to explore the depths of history!
7. What’s a pirate’s second favorite letter? ‘P’ because it’s missing an ‘R.’
8. Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish!
9. How do you communicate with a fish you don’t trust? Drop it a line!
10. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
11. What’s the difference between a ship and a boat? You can’t put a ship in a bottle, but you can with a boat!
12. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King mackerel!
13. Why did the sailor bring a broom to the beach? Because he wanted to sweep the sea!
14. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
15. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
16. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of music? ARRR and B!
17. Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea-weed!
18. How do you make a pirate furious? Take away the ‘P’!
19. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie!
20. Why don’t sailors ever play cards in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs!
21. Why did the sailor bring a pencil to the sailboat? In case he needed to draw his weapon!
22. What do you call a fish that wears a crown and sits on a throne? King Neptune!
23. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well-armed!
24. Why was the math book sad by the ocean? Because it had too many problems.
25. What do you call a pirate’s car? A ship-automobile!
26. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels!
27. Why did the sailor bring a deck of cards to the ocean? Because he wanted to play Go Fish!
28. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? “Aye Matey!”
29. Why did the fisherman go broke? Because he lost all his net worth!
30. What does a pirate pay for his corn? A buccaneer!
31. Why was the pirate a good boxer? Because he had a mean left hook!

Read more: Captain Jokes

Dive into Nautical Humor

32. What do you call a pirate who skips class? Captain Hooky!
33. Why don’t pirates ever learn the alphabet? Because they always get stuck at “C”!
34. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise? The plank!
35. Why was the sea captain so good at his job? Because he had a lot of seaman-ship!
36. What do you get if you cross a pirate with a detective? A privateer!
37. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to go to the sandbar!
38. What do you call a fish that wears a crown and rules the sea? Emperor penguin!
39. How do you make a tissue dance again? You put a little sea shanty in it!
40. Why did the sailor bring string to the bar? Because he wanted to tie one on!
41. What did the ocean say to the sailboat? “You crack me up!”
42. Why don’t sharks like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!
43. What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song? The hook!
44. Why did the sailor bring a towel to the ship? Because he wanted to have a dry run!
45. What do you call a pirate who sings? A Yarrrrrrrrrist!
46. Why did the sailor take a shower before going to the bar? Because he wanted to wash ashore!
47. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? ARRRt!
48. Why don’t fish do well in school? Because they’re always swimming below “sea” level!
49. Why did the sailor bring a flashlight to the sea? Because he wanted to see weed!
50. What did the ocean say to the beachgoer? “Long time no sea!”
51. Why did the pirate apply for a job at the bakery? Because he wanted to make some dough!
52. What’s a pirate’s favorite restaurant? Arrrrrrrrrrrrby’s!
53. Why did the sailor bring a belt to the ocean? Because he heard the waves were high!
54. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky!
55. Why did the sailor bring a suitcase to the beach? Because he wanted to leave his troubles behind!
56. What do you call a fish with no eyes and no tail? Fsh!
57. Why did the pirate refuse to play cards with the deckhand? Because he was standing on the deck!
58. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? ARRR and B!
59. Why did the sailor bring a pencil to the ocean? In case he needed to draw his weapon!
60. What do you call a fish that wears a crown and rules the sea? King Neptune!
61. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well-armed!
62. Why was the math book sad by the ocean? Because it had too many problems.

Read more: Flirty Pirate Jokes

Nautical Comedy Bonanza

63. What do you call a pirate’s car? A ship-automobile!
64. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels!
65. Why did the sailor bring a deck of cards to the ocean? Because he wanted to play Go Fish!
66. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? “Aye Matey!”
67. Why did the fisherman go broke? Because he lost all his net worth!
68. What does a pirate pay for his corn? A buccaneer!
69. Why was the pirate a good boxer? Because he had a mean left hook!
70. What do you call a pirate who skips class? Captain Hooky!
71. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the sea? Because he wanted to go to the high seas!
72. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter in the alphabet? You’d think it’s “R,” but it’s really the “C” they love!
73. Why did the fisherman put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets!
74. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of socks? Arrrgyle!
75. Why did the sailor bring a map to the ocean? Because he wanted to find his way to Atlantis!
76. What did the ocean say to the shore? “You’re not my type”
77. Why do pirates make terrible baseball players? Because they always hit foul balls!
78. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie? Ships ahoy!
79. Why don’t fish do well in school? Because they’re always swimming below “sea” level!
80. Why did the sailor bring a flashlight to the sea? Because he wanted to see weed!
81. What did the ocean say to the beachgoer? “Long time no sea!”
82. Why did the pirate apply for a job at the bakery? Because he wanted to make some dough!
83. What’s a pirate’s favorite restaurant? Arrrrrrrrrrrrby’s!
84. Why did the sailor bring a belt to the ocean? Because he heard the waves were high!
85. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky!
86. Why did the sailor bring a suitcase to the beach? Because he wanted to leave his troubles behind!
87. What do you call a fish with no eyes and no tail? Fsh!
88. Why did the pirate refuse to play cards with the deckhand? Because he was standing on the deck!
89. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? ARRR and B!
90. Why did the sailor bring a pencil to the ocean? In case he needed to draw his weapon!
91. What do you call a fish that wears a crown and rules the sea? King Neptune!
92. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well-armed!
93. Why was the math book sad by the ocean? Because it had too many problems.

Read more: Lighthouse Jokes

Nautical Puns and Giggles

94. What do you call a pirate’s car? A ship-automobile!
95. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels!
96. Why did the sailor bring a deck of cards to the ocean? Because he wanted to play Go Fish!
97. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? “Aye Matey!”
98. Why did the fisherman go broke? Because he lost all his net worth!
99. What does a pirate pay for his corn? A buccaneer!
100. Why was the pirate a good boxer? Because he had a mean left hook!
101. What do you call a pirate who skips class? Captain Hooky!
102. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the sea? Because he wanted to go to the high seas!
103. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter in the alphabet? You’d think it’s “R,” but it’s really the “C” they love!
104. Why did the fisherman put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets!
105. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of socks? Arrrgyle!
106. Why did the sailor bring a map to the ocean? Because he wanted to find his way to Atlantis!
107. What did the ocean say to the shore? “You’re not my type!”
108. Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap? In case they have to wash up on shore!
109. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of music to dance to? The arrrrrrrgh and bee!
110. Why did the sailor bring a pair of pants to the beach? Because he wanted to go with the flow!
111. What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands, and two legs? A beginner!
112. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be called bay-gulls!
113. Why did the sailor bring a hairbrush to the ship? Because he wanted to part the waves!
114. What did the ocean say to the surfer? Nothing, it just waved!
115. Why did the pirate become a chef? Because he wanted to get his sea-food certification!
116. What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon!
117. Why did the sailor bring a jacket to the ocean? Because he wanted to catch some currents!
118. Why did the pirate get kicked out of the movie theater? Because he was watching an R-rated film!
119. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
120. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll wash up on shore anyway!
121. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the ocean? Because he wanted to go overboard!
122. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft in a naval base? A flat minor!
123. What do you call a fish that loves to play piano? A piano tuna!
124. Why did the sailor bring a mirror to the beach? Because he wanted to catch some rays!

Read more:

Cruise Ship Jokes

Jokes about waves

Conclusion

We hope you’ve enjoyed this voyage through the world of nautical jokes. Laughter is the wind in the sails of life, so don’t forget to share these jokes with your shipmates and friends. 

Anchors weigh, and may your days be filled with smooth seas and hearty chuckles!

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