105+ Hilarious Drunkard Jokes for Endless Laughter

Introduction

Welcome to a barrel of laughter with our extensive compilation of drunkard jokes. While we acknowledge the importance of responsible drinking, humor helps us find the lighter side of life’s experiences. 

These Drunkard jokes are meant to entertain and tickle your funny bone, so sit back, relax, and enjoy a good laugh.

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Funny Drunkard Jokes

1. Why did the drunkard bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What’s a drunkard’s favorite exercise? Lifting the pint!
3. Why did the drunkard take a job at the bakery? He heard they had the best rolls in town!
4. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of music? A “pour”ty anthem!
5. How did the drunkard respond when asked if he wanted a shot? “No, but I’ll take the whole bottle!”
6. Why did the drunkard become a carpenter? He loved working with spirits!
7. What do you call a drunkard who’s also a magician? The “Alco-HOCUS-pocus”!
8. Why did the drunkard bring a suitcase to the party? He heard it was a “case” for celebration!
9. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of exercise? The “barbell” crawl!
10. How did the drunkard feel after finishing a marathon? Absolutely “schnocked”!
11. Why did the drunkard become a detective? He was always looking for the “proof”!
12. What’s a drunkard’s favorite board game? “Whiskey-o”!
13. Why did the drunkard bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to reach new “heights” of intoxication!
14. What do you call a drunkard with a PhD? A “schnapp-doctor”!
15. Why did the drunkard start a band? He wanted to be known as the “Gin-ius” musician!
16. How did the drunkard win the race? He took a “shot”cut!
17. What’s a drunkard’s favorite movie? “The Hangover”!
18. Why did the drunkard get a job at the brewery? He wanted to work his way up from the “bottoms”!
19. What do you call a drunkard who becomes a chef? A “souse” chef!
20. How did the drunkard become a gardener? He wanted to grow his own “barley”!
21. Why did the drunkard get kicked out of the art gallery? He mistook the paintings for “spirits”!
22. What’s a drunkard’s favorite instrument? The “tambourine”!
23. Why did the drunkard start a fashion line? He believed in the power of “high spirits”!
24. How did the drunkard respond when asked about his favorite wine? “Yes, please!”
25. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of poetry? “Limer-intoxicated”s!
26. Why did the drunkard start a bakery? He loved working with “dough”!
27. What do you call a drunkard who becomes a comedian? A “liquor” joker!
28. How did the drunkard become a teacher? He wanted to give “alcohol-education”!
29. Why did the drunkard start a YouTube channel? He wanted to become a “viral” sensation!
30. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of flower? The “boo-quet”!
31. Why did the drunkard become a painter? He wanted to create “masterpissed”!
32. What do you call a drunkard who’s also a scientist? A “booze” researcher!
33. How did the drunkard become a computer programmer? He loved working with “Java” scripts!
34. Why did the drunkard get a job as a mail carrier? He enjoyed delivering “liquid” parcels!
35. What’s a drunkard’s favorite animal? The “party” bear!

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Drunkard Puns

36. Why did the drunkard start a shoe store? He wanted to sell “high heels”!
37. How did the drunkard respond when asked if he wanted a dessert? “No, I’ll have another drink, please!”
38. What’s a drunkard’s favorite game? “Drunken” Twister!
39. Why did the drunkard become a pilot? He loved being “air-drunk”!
40. What do you call a drunkard who starts a dance studio? A “tipsy-toer”!
41. How did the drunkard win the spelling bee? He spelled “champagne” with a “champ-pain”!
42. Why did the drunkard start a photography studio? He wanted to capture “spirited” moments!
43. What’s a drunkard’s favorite insect? The “buzzing” bee!
44. Why did the drunkard open a barbershop? He believed in the power of a good “hair of the dog”!
45. How did the drunkard become a scientist? He loved experimenting with “intoxi-chemistry”!
46. What do you call a drunkard who’s also an author? An “inebriated” writer!
47. Why did the drunkard start a travel agency? He wanted to explore “booze” destinations!
48. What’s a drunkard’s favorite card game? “Gin” Rummy!
49. Why did the drunkard become a firefighter? He enjoyed “putting out” fiery spirits!
50. How did the drunkard respond when asked about his favorite drink? “The one in my hand!”
51. What’s a drunkard’s favorite fruit? The “watermelon” (water-mel-on)!
52. Why did the drunkard get a job at the zoo? He loved being surrounded by “spirited” animals!
53. What do you call a drunkard who becomes a dentist? A “filling” mixer!
54. How did the drunkard become a hairdresser? He loved giving “spirited” makeovers!
55. Why did the drunkard start a band with dogs? He wanted to create “howling” melodies!
56. What’s a drunkard’s favorite sport? “Soc-hic-cer”!
57. Why did the drunkard become a librarian? He loved working with “wine catalogs”!
58. How did the drunkard respond when asked if he wanted dessert? “No thanks, I’ll have another round!”
59. What’s a drunkard’s favorite flower? The “rose”é!
60. Why did the drunkard become a car mechanic? He enjoyed working with “fuel” tanks!
61. What do you call a drunkard who becomes a tailor? A “sew-say” drinker!
62. How did the drunkard become an actor? He loved playing “high-spirited” characters!
63. Why did the drunkard start a jewelry store? He wanted to sell “spirited” gems!
64. What’s a drunkard’s favorite board game? “Chutes and Lagers”!
65. Why did the drunkard become a tour guide? He loved exploring “boozy” destinations!
66. How did the drunkard respond when asked about his favorite cocktail? “Any that’s within arm’s reach!”
67. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of candy? “Snick-hic-kers”!
68. Why did the drunkard start a farm? He wanted to grow his own “hops”!
69. What do you call a drunkard who becomes a lawyer? A “litigious” drinker!
70. How did the drunkard win the talent show? He performed a “hic”kory dance!

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Drunkard One-Liners

71. Why did the drunkard open a clothing store? He believed in the power of “spirited” fashion!
72. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of fruit juice? “Mango”-rita!
73. Why did the drunkard become a veterinarian? He loved caring for “spirited” animals!
74. How did the drunkard respond when asked about his favorite food? “Anything that pairs well with a drink!”
75. What’s a drunkard’s favorite superhero? “Captain” Morgan!
76. Why did the drunkard start a grocery store? He believed in the power of “spiritual” nourishment!
77. What do you call a drunkard who becomes a plumber? A “pipe-dream” drinker!
78. How did the drunkard win the lottery? He used his “booze” numbers!
79. Why did the drunkard become a lifeguard? He enjoyed diving into “liquor” situations!
80. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of pizza? “Pepper-drunk-i”!
81. Why did the drunkard become a barber? He loved giving “buzzed” haircuts!
82. How did the drunkard respond when asked about his favorite hobby? “Drinking, of course!”
83. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of sandwich? “Blacked out” chicken!
84. Why did the drunkard start a bookstore? He wanted to share his love for “spirited” reads!
85. What do you call a drunkard who becomes a pilot? A “flying” drinker!
86. How did the drunkard win the dance competition? He did the “tipsy” two-step!
87. Why did the drunkard become a plumber? He loved “flowing” spirits!
88. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of bird? The “cockt-hic-coo”!
89. Why did the drunkard open a bakery? He believed in the power of “spirited” pastries!
90. How did the drunkard respond when asked about his favorite sports team? “The one that serves drinks at the stadium!”
91. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of ice cream? “Rum” raisin!
92. Why did the drunkard become a gardener? He loved tending to “gin” plants!
93. What do you call a drunkard who starts a clothing line? A “fashionable” drinker!
94. How did the drunkard win the poker game? He played with “intoxi-cards”!
95. Why did the drunkard become a detective? He was always on the lookout for “clues” in his glass!
96. What’s a drunkard’s favorite planet? “Uranus” (your-ann-uss)!
97. Why did the drunkard start a hair salon? He believed in the power of “spirited” hairstyles!
98. How did the drunkard respond when asked about his favorite book? “Anything that comes with a drink coaster!”
99. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of seafood? “Sloshed” crab cakes!
100. Why did the drunkard become a mathematician? He loved solving “inebriated” equations!
101. What do you call a drunkard who’s also a photographer? A “spirited” shutterbug!
102. How did the drunkard win the singing competition? He belted out a “hic” note!
103. Why did the drunkard open a gym? He believed in the power of “spirited” workouts!
104. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of car? The “sedan”-tary!
105. Why did the drunkard become a chef? He loved creating “intoxi-cuisine”!
106. How did the drunkard respond when asked about his favorite holiday? “Any that involves a toast!”
107. What’s a drunkard’s favorite type of candy bar? “Three Hic-kers”!

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Conclusion

We hope these drunkard jokes brought a smile to your face and brightened your day. Laughter is a powerful way to connect and find joy in life’s simplest moments. 

Remember, it’s important to drink responsibly and always prioritize the well-being of yourself and others. Cheers to the power of humor!

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