Are you tired of hearing the same old jokes? Well, it’s time to tune in and enjoy over 100 brand-new laughs about listening! From playful jabs at Alexa to the timeless comedy of selective hearing, these jokes will keep you giggling through every earbud, speaker, and conversation.
Whether you’re a fan of technology humor, love a good sermon joke about listening, or just want a quick laugh with friends and family, this collection will have you laughing in no time. So, plug in, listen up, and enjoy these jokes about one of our favorite things—hearing (or not hearing) what we want!
100+ Hilarious Jokes About Listening
1. Why did the Alexa speaker break up with the Bluetooth speaker? It couldn’t handle all the listening drama.
2. I asked Alexa to play my favorite song, but instead, it started giving me a sermon about listening.
3. My friend said she doesn’t listen to anything anymore, but I guess that’s just a sermon on selective hearing.
4. Why did the husband bring a notebook to his wife’s lecture on listening? He wanted to take notes.
5. Alexa overheard me talking about her. Now she’s giving me the silent treatment—guess she’s tired of listening.
6. The toddler told me he’s tired of listening to the same songs. I guess it’s time to change the playlist.
7. I asked my Alexa speaker for help, but it just gave me a sermon about listening and nothing else.
8. Why don’t some people like listening to podcasts? Because they don’t want to hear the same old story.
9. When I asked Alexa if it was listening, it replied, ‘I’m always listening—to your every command!’
10. Why did the teacher give a lesson on listening? Because students need to learn to hear the right things.
More Jokes About Listening
11. Why did Alexa start listening to the sermon? It wanted to learn about commandments.
12. I told my friend that oxygen was like a good friend—it’s always there when you need to breathe.
13. My classmate said he doesn’t like listening in class. I told him he should just pay attention to the important stuff.
14. I can’t listen to audiobooks at the gym—every time the narrator gets to a good part, I’m already too tired to hear the next chapter!
15. The dog doesn’t listen to anything I say—guess he’s just tuned out.
16. Why did the meatball hate the library? It couldn’t handle the quiet.
17. I tried to teach the meatball to dance, but it just kept rolling away.
18. Why did the meatball win an award? It was known for its exceptional flavor.
19. Why did the music teacher have a hard time with his students? Because no one was listening to the notes.
20. I tried listening to music in the car, but the audio system was just too loud for me.
More Listening Jokes for Your Entertainment
21. I asked my friend to listen to my problems, but instead, he just started giving me a sermon on patience.
22. Why did the couple go to couples therapy? They needed help listening to each other.
23. I told my Alexa to play my favorite podcast, but it just played a sermon on listening instead.
24. Why did the teacher tell the class to start listening more carefully? Because they were all getting out of tune.
25. I told my dog to listen to me, but he just gave me a puzzled look.
26. Alexa started playing my favorite playlist, then I heard it whisper, “I’m always listening to your commands.”
27. My friend says I never listen, but the real problem is I just don’t hear things the right way.
28. The student tried to tell the teacher they were listening, but all they could hear was the sound of tuned-out thoughts.
29. The cat never listens to me when I call, but it always listens when I open a can of food.
30. The kid didn’t listen to the rules at recess and ended up with a time-out.
Jokes About Listening in Daily Life
31. I tried to listen to a new audiobook, but my thoughts kept wandering off.
32. I told my friend to listen to me, but she was too busy tuning out.
33. Why was the teacher frustrated? Because no one was listening to the lesson.
34. I thought I could multitask, but every time I try to listen to music and work, it’s a disaster.
35. My Alexa gave me a full sermon when I asked it to play music. Maybe it’s trying to teach me about active listening?
36. Why don’t people listen to their parents? Because they can’t hear over the sound of their own thoughts.
37. I told my Alexa to stop eavesdropping, but it just played some white noise.
38. Why didn’t the student listen to the lecture? They were too busy playing games.
39. I tried listening to my partner’s story, but I accidentally zoned out.
40. Why did the office worker bring headphones to work? They didn’t want to listen to the gossip.
More Listening Jokes for Every Occasion
41. I tried to listen to my friend’s advice, but it was just a bunch of noise.
42. Why did the Alexa speaker stop talking? It was tired of being constantly listened to.
43. I told my dog to listen to my commands, but he just stared at me.
44. Why did the husband say to his wife, “You’re not listening to me”? She was too busy hearing only the good parts.
45. The teacher said, “Listen up!” but the students were too busy playing with their phones.
46. I told my Alexa to listen carefully, and it replied, “I’m always on the lookout for your commands.”
47. Why don’t cats listen when I call them? Because they’re too busy napping.
48. I tried to listen to my favorite podcast, but my headphones kept falling out.
49. The teacher asked the student to listen and stay focused, but the student kept daydreaming.
50. My boss gave me a lecture on listening. Too bad I was too busy checking my phone.
Jokes About Listening in Different Settings
51. I asked my friend to listen to me, but instead, they just turned up the music.
52. Why did the dog stop listening to me? Because I wasn’t offering any treats.
53. Alexa overheard me talking about it, and now it’s giving me the silent treatment.
54. The teacher asked the students to listen closely, but they were all busy checking the time.
55. Why don’t we listen to our instincts? Because we’re often too busy overthinking.
56. I tried listening to my grandma’s advice, but all I heard was a long-winded story.
57. Why did the phone stop listening to me? It just wanted to charge up for a while.
58. I told my dog to listen to my commands, but it just rolled over and went back to sleep.
59. My boss thinks I’m not listening at work, but I’m just really good at multitasking.
60. I told my child to listen to their teacher, but they were too busy playing games.
More Listening Jokes for Your Enjoyment
61. I tried to listen to my partner’s argument, but I kept tuning out.
62. Why did Alexa stop playing my music? I think it overheard me complaining about its listening habits.
63. I told my dog to listen to me, but it just wagged its tail and walked away.
64. I asked my friend to listen to my ideas, but they just kept interrupting.
65. Why did the teacher say, “You’re not listening!”? Because the student was busy texting.
66. I tried to listen to a podcast on the subway, but it was so noisy that I couldn’t hear a thing.
67. My dog listens to me, but only when I say the word “treat”.
68. Why do we all have trouble listening to advice? Because sometimes we just don’t want to hear it.
69. I asked Alexa to help me, and it gave me a whole sermon on the importance of listening.
70. Why don’t people listen when they’re on their phones? Because they’re too busy scrolling to pay attention!
Jokes About Listening and Learning
71. Why did the student fail the listening test? They kept zoning out.
72. I told my friend I was a good listener, but they said, “You might be, but you’re also a bad talker.”
73. The teacher told the class, “Listen up, this is important!” Too bad the students were all busy taking selfies.
74. Why didn’t the cat listen to me? It was too busy staring out the window.
75. Why was the student always late to class? They couldn’t listen for long enough to wake up.
76. Alexa listens to everything I say, even when I don’t ask.
77. Why did the dog stop listening? It was too tired from chasing its tail.
78. I tried to listen to a lecture while multitasking. Let’s just say I missed the point.
79. My Alexa speaker listens to everything, but sometimes it just needs a break.
80. I told my child to listen to the instructions, but they kept forgetting.
The Final Round of Listening Jokes
81. Why did the teacher give a lesson on listening? Because her students were always missing the point.
82. I told my friend I wasn’t listening to them. They replied, “At least I don’t need a sermon on listening.”
83. Why do I always get distracted when trying to listen to my favorite podcast? My mind keeps wandering to random thoughts.
84. My dog listens better than I do—I think it’s because it’s always on alert.
85. I was listening to music while working, but I got so into it that I forgot to finish my tasks.
86. Why don’t people listen to their parents? Because they’re too busy scrolling on their phones.
87. I tried to listen to my partner, but they kept interrupting.
88. The teacher asked the class to listen carefully, but they were all too busy texting.
89. I told my kids to listen to me, but all they did was laugh at my jokes.
90. Alexa listens to everything I say—even when I’m just talking to myself.
Final Jokes About Listening and Life
91. I tried listening to a podcast while driving, but I kept missing all the important parts.
92. My Alexa speaker never misses a beat—it’s always listening and ready for my next command.
93. Why did the dog stop listening to me? It was too busy chasing its tail.
94. The teacher said, “Listen carefully!” But the students just kept staring out the window.
95. I told my friend I was a great listener, but they didn’t seem convinced—I guess I wasn’t tuned in.
96. The meatball didn’t listen when I said “don’t roll off the table.” Now it’s on its way to the floor.
97. I told my partner that I was really listening, but they caught me zoning out.
98. Why did the kids stop listening to their parents? They were too busy playing video games.
99. Why didn’t Alexa respond when I asked a question? It was too busy eavesdropping on the neighbors.
100. I asked my friend for advice, but they just gave me a sermon on listening.
That’s All
And there you have it—100+ hilarious jokes about listening that will have you laughing, learning, and possibly even reconsidering your listening habits! Whether it’s a funny story about Alexa, a classic sermon joke, or a playful poke at relationships and everyday life, these jokes will keep you entertained for hours. If these jokes hit the right note, don’t forget to check out more laughter-filled categories on our site, like relationship humor and tech jokes. Remember, laughter is the best thing to listen to—so keep laughing, stay tuned in, and enjoy the ride!