207+ Tank Jokes: Funny One-liners to Tickle Your Funny Bone

Introduction

Tanks may be formidable war machines, but they also serve as a source of amusement in the realm of humor. Whether it’s poking fun at their size, power, or functionality, tank jokes never fail to entertain. 

Get ready to chuckle as we present a series of lighthearted one-liners centered around these armored vehicles.

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Tank Jokes

  1. Why did the tank blush? Because it saw the battlefield naked!
  2. What do you call a tank that spins in circles? A tornado tank!
  3. Why don’t tanks ever get lost? Because they always follow the tank tracks!
  4. How do you make a tank laugh? Tickles!
  5. Why was the tank embarrassed? Because it couldn’t parallel park!
  6. What did the tank say to the car? “Move over, I’m the real horsepower!”
  7. Why did the tank break up with its partner? It felt armored by commitment!
  8. What’s a tank’s favorite kind of movie? Armored action films!
  9. Why did the tank enroll in cooking class? It wanted to learn how to make tank-tastic meals!
  10. What do you call a tank with a weak bladder? A pee-tank!
  11. Why did the tank refuse to fight? It had too much armorphobia!
  12. How do you stop a tank from charging? Take away its credit card!
  13. What did the tank say to the soldier? “Hop on board, let’s roll out!”
  14. Why was the tank always invited to parties? Because it knew how to tank the dance floor!
  15. What’s a tank’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal!
  16. Why did the tank bring a map to the battlefield? To find its way through the war maze!
  17. How do tanks stay warm in the winter? They wear tank tops!
  18. What’s a tank’s favorite exercise? Tank-erobics!
  19. Why did the tank apply for a job at the circus? It wanted to join the tank balancing act!
  20. What did the tank say to its driver? “You steer, I’ll armor!”
  21. Why did the tank bring a broom to the battlefield? To sweep away the competition!
  22. What did the tank say to the bicycle? “You may have two wheels, but I’ve got tracks of steel!”
  23. Why was the tank always the center of attention? Because it had a magnetic personality!
  24. What did one tank say to the other tank in traffic? “Quit tailgating me, I’ve got armor to protect!”
  25. Why did the tank join the military band? It had a knack for percussion – tank drums!
  26. What’s a tank’s favorite snack? Cannon-dy!
  27. Why was the tank a terrible comedian? It always missed its punchlines – they were armor-piercing!
  28. How does a tank like its coffee? With a little armored cream!
  29. Why did the tank refuse to share its secrets? It was armored to the teeth!
  30. What did the tank say when it got stuck in the mud? “I’m feeling tanked!”
  31. Why did the tank apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to make tank bread!
  32. What do you call a tank with a sunroof? A convertible combat vehicle!
  33. Why was the tank always calm? Because it had a strong inner shield!
  34. Why did the tank bring a deck of cards to battle? In case it needed to play tanko!
  35. What did the tank say to the airplane? “You may soar in the sky, but I rule the ground!”
  36. Why did the tank go to school? It wanted to be a tank-scholar!
  37. What did the tank say to the bank? “I need to make a withdraw-tank!”
  38. Why did the tank wear sunglasses? To protect its steel eyes from the sun’s glare!

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Hilarious Tank Jokes

  1. Why don’t tanks ever get sick? Because they’re armored against viruses!
  2. What’s a tank’s favorite bedtime story? The Armor and the Pea!
  3. Why was the tank always calm? Because it had a strong inner chassis!
  4. What did the tank say to the SUV? “You may be sporty, but I’m tank-tastic!”
  5. How does a tank apologize? It says, “I’m sorry, I’ll tread lightly from now on!”
  6. Why was the tank so good at math? It could always calculate its tank capacity!
  7. What’s a tank’s favorite game? Tankopoly!
  8. Why did the tank go to therapy? It had issues with armored emotions!
  9. What did the tank wear to the party? Its battle dress uniform!
  10. Why did the tank cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken armor!
  11. What do you call a tank with a broken heart? A shell of its former self!
  12. Why was the tank so popular? Because it had a great tank-itude!
  13. What’s a tank’s favorite fruit? Armored oranges!
  14. Why did the tank visit the art museum? It wanted to appreciate tank-o-aesthetics!
  15. How does a tank stay cool in the summer? It rolls down the windows!
  16. What’s a tank’s favorite holiday? Tanksgiving!
  17. Why did the tank join the orchestra? It wanted to play the tank-tuba!
  18. What’s a tank’s favorite dance move? The armored shuffle!
  19. Why did the tank become a poet? It had a way with tank-verses!
  20. What’s a tank’s favorite accessory? Its turret earrings!
  21. Why did the tank bring a ladder to the battlefield? It wanted to reach new heights!
  22. What do you call a tank that loves to garden? A tank-cultivator!
  23. Why did the tank join the debate team? It was good at making armored arguments!
  24. What’s a tank’s favorite type of soup? Armored tomato!
  25. Why did the tank apply for a job at the bank? It wanted to work with armored cash!
  26. What’s a tank’s favorite dessert? Tread pudding!
  27. Why was the tank so confident? It had a steel resolve!
  28. What did the tank say to the bicycle? “You wheelie don’t stand a chance against me!”
  29. Why was the tank such a great dancer? It had excellent tank-steps!
  30. Why did the tank bring a map to the library? It wanted to find the armored section!
  31. What’s a tank’s favorite subject in school? Artillery!
  32. Why did the tank get a job as a security guard? It was great at maintaining perimeter defense!
  33. What’s a tank’s favorite part of a joke? The punch armor line!
  34. Why did the tank start a band? It wanted to rock out with its tank out!
  35. What’s a tank’s favorite song? “We Will Rock Armor” by Queen!
  36. Why did the tank go to the beach? It wanted to work on its tan-king!
  37. Why did the tank become a comedian? It had a knack for tank-ling audiences!
  38. What’s a tank’s favorite hobby? Shell collecting!

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Funny Tank One-Liners

  1. What’s a tank’s favorite board game? Battleship!
  2. Why did the tank bring a ladder to the battle? It wanted to reach new heights!
  3. What did one tank say to the other in traffic? “Let’s tank our time!”
  4. Why did the tank go to the beach? It wanted to work on its tan-k!
  5. What’s a tank’s favorite snack? Armor-plated chips!
  6. Why did the tank enroll in art class? It wanted to master the art of tank-toon!
  7. What did the tank say when it bumped into the wall? “Sorry, I didn’t see you, I was armored!”
  8. What’s a tank’s favorite dessert? Shell-fie pie!
  9. Why did the tank wear sunglasses? To protect its tank-oculars!
  10. What did the tank say to the sports car? “My tracks can outlast your speed any day!”
  11. Why was the tank terrible at poker? It always showed its armor!
  12. Why did the tank join the gym? It wanted to work on its tank-tacular physique!
  13. What did the tank say to the submarine? “Let’s see who can dive deeper!”
  14. Why was the tank afraid of ghosts? It heard they could pierce through armor!
  15. What’s a tank’s favorite drink? Tank-queray!
  16. Why did the tank refuse to swim? It didn’t want to rust!
  17. What did the tank say when it won the race? “I tank I can, I tank I can!”
  18. Why did the tank start a band? It had a knack for heavy metal!
  19. What did the tank say to the airplane? “You fly, I’ll roll!”
  20. Why was the tank always chosen as the designated driver? Because it had a high tolerance for armor-ed drinks!
  21. What’s a tank’s favorite social media platform? TankTok!
  22. Why did the tank refuse to participate in the marathon? It didn’t want to be labeled a “tank” slowpoke!
  23. What’s a tank’s favorite type of weather? Tank-top weather!
  24. Why was the tank so good at trivia? It had a lot of tank-knowledge!
  25. What’s a tank’s favorite hobby? Tank painting!
  26. Why did the tank bring a pen to the battlefield? It wanted to take tank notes!
  27. What’s a tank’s favorite fairy tale? The Tank and the Beanstalk!
  28. Why did the tank enroll in acting classes? It wanted to master the art of tank-ting!
  29. What did the tank say to the car that cut it off? “You’ve just tanked your chances of winning this race!”
  30. Why was the tank always chosen as the team captain? Because it had a commanding presence!
  31. What’s a tank’s favorite type of shoe? Combat boots!
  32. Why did the tank start a podcast? It had a lot of tank-tales to share!
  33. What’s a tank’s favorite book genre? Tank fiction!
  34. Why was the tank so calm during the storm? Because it had a strong armor mentality!
  35. What’s a tank’s favorite type of music festival? Tankstock!
  36. Why did the tank join the circus? It wanted to be part of the tank-balancing act!
  37. What did the tank say to the mountain? “I’ll conquer you with my tank-tracks!”
  38. Why was the tank always late? It had a tankful of excuses!
  39. What’s a tank’s favorite party game? Tank-o!

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Best Tank Jokes

  1. Why was the tank such a good chef? Because it knew how to shell out delicious meals!
  2. What did the tank say to the refrigerator? “I’ve got my armor, you’ve got your cold storage. We make a great team!”
  3. Why did the tank bring a ruler to battle? To measure its tank-tics!
  4. What’s a tank’s favorite type of candy? Tanky bars!
  5. Why did the tank break up with its GPS? It felt it was being too controlling!
  6. What’s a tank’s favorite subject in school? Tank-onomics!
  7. Why did the tank go to the doctor? It had a case of tank-itis!
  8. What did the tank say to the bicycle? “You’ve got wheels, but I’ve got armor!”
  9. Why did the tank get a job at the bank? It wanted to deal with armored transactions!
  10. What’s a tank’s favorite board game? Armor and Allies!
  11. Why did the tank join the band? It had a knack for tank-overy!
  12. What’s a tank’s favorite TV show? Tanking Bad!
  13. Why did the tank buy a treadmill? To work on its tank-tastic physique!
  14. What did the tank say to the submarine at the party? “We’re both armored, but I’m the real party tank!”
  15. Why did the tank get a pet fish? It wanted someone to share its tank with!
  16. What’s a tank’s favorite ice cream flavor? Tankilla!
  17. Why did the tank become a comedian? It had a great sense of tank-humor!
  18. What did the tank say to the traffic cone? “Move over, I’m the real cone-head around here!”
  19. Why was the tank so confident? It had a tank-load of self-assurance!
  20. What’s a tank’s favorite movie snack? Pop-Tank-corn!
  21. Why was the tank always calm during exams? Because it had a bulletproof memory!
  22. What did the tank say to the scared soldier? “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back!”
  23. Why did the tank bring a dictionary to battle? To improve its tank-uage skills!
  24. What’s a tank’s favorite game at the arcade? Tank Invaders!
  25. Why did the tank start a garden? It wanted to grow tank-atoes!
  26. What’s a tank’s favorite type of sandwich? Sub-Tank-tial!
  27. Why did the tank start a YouTube channel? It wanted to show off its tank-tics!
  28. What did the tank say to the parked car? “You’re blocking my tank-cess!”
  29. Why did the tank refuse to play hide and seek? Because it was too easy to spot with its camouflage!
  30. What’s a tank’s favorite holiday destination? Tank-a-ribe!
  31. Why was the tank always the life of the party? Because it had a tank-tastic sense of humor!
  32. What did the tank say to the traffic light? “I’ll stop when I’m ready!”
  33. Why did the tank bring a calculator to the battlefield? To solve tank-tions quickly!
  34. What’s a tank’s favorite video game? World of Tanks!
  35. Why did the tank get a job as a DJ? It loved to spin tracks!
  36. What did the tank say to the bicycle? “You’re wheely cute!”
  37. Why did the tank join the gym? It wanted to work on its tank-ular endurance!
  38. What’s a tank’s favorite type of music? Tankstep!
  39. Why did the tank join the debate team? It had a strong argument for armored defense!
  40. What did the tank say to the impatient driver? “I’m armored and dangerous, wait your turn!”

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Tank Puns

  1. Why did the tank bring a map to the party? Because it didn’t want to miss out on any tank-ivities!
  2. What did the tank say when it won the lottery? “I’m going to tank Disneyland!”
  3. Why did the tank become a detective? Because it had a knack for tank-solving mysteries!
  4. What’s a tank’s favorite type of cereal? Tank flakes!
  5. Why did the tank get a job as a chef? Because it wanted to serve up some tank-sty meals!
  6. What did the tank say when it got stuck in traffic? “I’m feeling tank-rolled!”
  7. Why did the tank take up yoga? It wanted to master the art of tank-asana!
  8. What’s a tank’s favorite movie snack? Tank-corn!
  9. Why did the tank start a book club? Because it loved to dive into tank-tastic literature!
  10. What did the tank say to the pickup truck? “You may have horsepower, but I’ve got tank power!”
  11. Why did the tank enroll in dance classes? It wanted to learn the tank-o!
  12. What’s a tank’s favorite mode of transportation? Tankers!
  13. What’s a tank’s favorite sport? Tank-tennis!
  14. Why did the tank go to the doctor? It had a case of tank-er’s elbow!
  15. Why did the tank go to school? It wanted to be tank-smart!
  16. What’s a tank’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Tank-illa!
  17. Why did the tank become an artist? It loved to paint tank-scapes!
  18. What did the tank say to the fighter jet? “Let’s see who can reach higher heights!”
  19. Why did the tank join the theater production? It wanted to be in the spotlight as the tank star!
  20. What’s a tank’s favorite bedtime story? The Tank and the Pea!
  21. Why did the tank bring a camera to battle? To capture tank-tastic moments!
  22. What did the tank say to the submarine? “I bet I can make a bigger splash!”
  23. Why was the tank so confident in its abilities? Because it had a lot of tank-pride!
  24. What’s a tank’s favorite part of the newspaper? The tank section!
  25. Why did the tank sign up for a dance class? It wanted to learn the tank-o!
  26. What did the tank say to the forklift? “You lift, but I tank!”
  27. Why did the tank start a YouTube channel? It wanted to show off its tank-tactics!
  28. What’s a tank’s favorite type of pizza? Tank-aroni and cheese!
  29. Why did the tank enroll in a cooking class? It wanted to whip up some tank-tastic recipes!
  30. What did the tank say to the motorcycle? “I’ve got more horsepower than you!”
  31. Why did the tank start a rock band? It wanted to make some tank-tastic music!
  32. What’s a tank’s favorite genre of music? Tank and roll!
  33. Why did the tank refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because it couldn’t hide its massive tank!
  34. What did the tank say to the sports car? “You may be fast, but I’ve got more tank-torque!”
  35. Why did the tank bring a calculator to battle? To solve tank-tions quickly!
  36. What’s a tank’s favorite superhero? Iron Tank!
  37. What did the tank say when it won the lottery? “I’m tankful for this windfall!”
  38. Why was the tank always the first to arrive at the party? Because it had a tank-tastic sense of timing!
  39. What’s a tank’s favorite type of music? Tanko!
  40. Why did the tank enroll in a dance class? It wanted to learn the tank-o!
  41. What did the tank say to the jet fighter? “You may fly high, but I’ve got grounded tank-trol!”
  42. Why did the tank bring a pencil to the battlefield? In case it needed to tank notes!
  43. What’s a tank’s favorite dessert? Tankcakes!
  44. Why did the tank go to the gym? It wanted to work on its tank-top physique!
  45. What did the tank say to the submarine? “I’m feeling tank-tastic today!”
  46. Why did the tank cross the road? To show that it had tank-titude!
  47. What’s a tank’s favorite movie genre? Tank comedies!
  48. Why did the tank refuse to play cards? Because it always had an armored hand!
  49. What did the tank say to the tractor? “You may plow, but I can tank anything!”
  50. Why did the tank apply for a job at the bank? Because it wanted to deal with armored transactions!
  51. What’s a tank’s favorite type of art? Tank-toon!
  52. Why did the tank bring a map to the battle? It wanted to navigate through tank-rainous terrain!
  53. What did the tank say to the SUV? “You may have speed, but I’ve got tank-tastic power!”
  54. Why did the tank go to the music festival? To listen to some tank-tastic tunes!
  55. Why did the tank start a band? It had a talent for tanking!

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Conclusion

Tanks may be symbols of strength and warfare, but they also inspire plenty of laughs with their quirky traits and characteristics. 

These jokes show that even the most formidable machines can have a humorous side. So next time you see a tank, remember to appreciate its ability to bring joy in unexpected ways.

FAQs

What are some other terms for tanks?

Tanks are also commonly referred to as armored vehicles, AFVs (Armored Fighting Vehicles), or simply as “armor.”

Can tanks really blush?

No, tanks cannot blush as they are inanimate objects. The joke is simply a humorous play on words.

Do tanks actually attend cooking classes?

No, tanks do not attend cooking classes. The joke imagines a scenario where a tank might have human-like qualities and interests for comedic effect.

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