Slapstick Smiles: 95+ Hilarious Hockey Jokes for Kids!

Introduction

Welcome to the coolest rink of humor, where slapstick meets slapshots! We’ve crafted 95+ knee-slapping, ice-breaking hockey jokes specially designed to tickle the funny bones of kids. 

Whether your little ones are budding players or just fans of the game, these one-liners are sure to score big laughs. Let the puck-tastic joy begin!

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Hockey Chuckles

1. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? In case he needed to tie the score!
2. What do you call a snowman with a hockey stick? Frosty the Slapshot!
3. Why did the hockey puck go to school? To get a little smarter!
4. What did the hockey stick say to the puck? “You complete me!”
5. Why are hockey players good at math? They know how to use their sticks for calculations!
6. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Puck rock!
7. Why did the hockey player become a chef? He was great at dishing out assists!
8. What do you call a bear playing hockey? A grizzly scorer!
9. How do hockey players stay cool during the game? They have plenty of fans in the stands!
10. Why do hockey players never get lost? They always follow the ice signs!
11. What’s a goalie’s favorite snack? Block-oli!
12. Why was the hockey arena so cold? All the fans!
13. What do you call a penguin at a hockey game? An icebreaker!
14. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To reach the high-sticking penalties!
15. What did the coach say to the hockey puck? “You’re on a roll!”
16. Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game? To draw a line in case of a face-off!
17. What did one hockey stick say to the other? “You’re a great support!”
18. Why was the hockey team so good at music? They had great stick control!
19. What do you call a snowman goalie? Frosty the Blockman!
20. Why did the hockey player bring a calendar to the game? To check the dates for his hat tricks!
21. What’s a hockey player’s favorite candy? Jawbreakers!
22. Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game? He wanted to travel with the team!
23. What did the hockey player say to the zamboni? “You really know how to break the ice!”
24. Why do hockey players make terrible burglars? They always get caught in the penalty box!
25. What do you call a hockey player who can play the piano? A musical slapshot!
26. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To get to the next level of competition!
27. What did the hockey puck say to the net? “I’ve got you in my sights!”
28. Why do hockey players make good detectives? They always follow the puck trail!
29. What did the hockey player say to the snack bar? “Give me a break!”
30. Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? To find the quickest route to the goal!
31. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of humor? Slapstick!
32. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game? To sweep the competition!
33. What’s a goalie’s favorite type of sandwich? Block-cheese!
34. Why did the hockey player bring a fishing rod to the game? He heard there were a lot of hooks!

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Hockey Puns

35. What did the hockey player say to the comedian? “You really scored with those jokes!”
36. Why did the hockey player bring a mirror to the game? To practice his self-reflection!
37. What did the hockey player say to the coffee? “You’re my power-up before the game!”
38. Why was the hockey team so good at spelling? They always knew how to break the ice with words!
39. What’s a hockey player’s favorite subject in school? Slapshot-tery!
40. Why did the hockey player bring a dictionary to the game? To look up some “ice” words!
41. What do you call a hockey player with a cat? A purr-fect teammate!
42. Why did the hockey player bring a deck of cards to the game? In case of a face-off!
43. What did the hockey puck say to the stick? “You really hit the sweet spot!”
44. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To reach new heights in scoring!
45. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of footwear? Skate-shoes!
46. Why did the hockey player bring a pillow to the game? In case it was a tight “net” match!
47. What do you call a hockey player who tells jokes? A slap-sticker!
48. Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game? To draw up some winning plays!
49. What did the hockey puck say to the referee? “You’re really on the ball!”
50. Why do hockey players love gardening? They have a natural talent for “checking” the soil!
51. What did the hockey player say to the rain? “You can’t delay our game, we’ve got goals to score!”
52. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game? To get a better view of the goal!
53. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of sandwich? Slap-ham!
54. Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game? To get a closer look at the competition!
55. What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “You really know how to block a conversation!”
56. Why did the hockey player bring a flashlight to the game? To shine a light on the competition!
57. What’s a hockey player’s favorite insect? The slap-bug!
58. Why did the hockey player bring a tape measure to the game? To size up the competition!
59. What did the hockey stick say to the puck? “Let’s stick together!”
60. Why do hockey players love roller coasters? They’re used to ups and downs!
61. What’s a hockey player’s favorite board game? Check-mate!
62. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To elevate his performance!
63. What do you call a bear that plays hockey? A slapshot bear!
64. Why did the hockey player bring a calendar to the game? To mark the dates of his hat tricks!
65. What did the hockey puck say to the net? “I’m heading your way!”
66. Why did the hockey player bring a dictionary to the game? To brush up on his “slang”!
67. What’s a hockey player’s favorite dessert? Ice cream, of course!
68. Why did the hockey player bring a fan to the game? To keep his cool on the ice!

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Hockey One-Liners

69. What do you call a hockey player who can play the guitar? A string scorer!
70. Why did the hockey player bring a shovel to the game? To bury the competition!
71. What did the hockey puck say to the stick? “You really know how to handle things!”
72. Why did the hockey player bring a pen to the game? To sign autographs after scoring!
73. What’s a hockey player’s favorite fruit? Puck-aya!
74. Why did the hockey player bring a mirror to the game? To practice his game face!
75. What do you call a hockey player who can juggle? A puck-tician!
76. Why did the hockey player bring a camera to the game? To capture all the action shots!
77. What did the hockey stick say to the puck? “You’re a real stickler for accuracy!”
78. Why did the hockey player bring a compass to the game? To find his way to the goal!
79. What’s a hockey player’s favorite movie genre? Ice-solation!
80. Why did the hockey player bring a book to the game? In case of a “face-off” delay!
81. What do you call a hockey player with a pet snake? A puck-viper!
82. Why did the hockey player bring a towel to the game? To wipe away the competition!
83. What did the hockey puck say to the ice? “You’re really giving me a cool reception!”
84. Why do hockey players make great comedians? They always have a good “slapstick” routine!
85. What’s a hockey player’s favorite planet? Mars, because it’s red like a penalty card!
86. Why did the hockey player bring a notebook to the game? To jot down his goals!
87. What do you call a hockey player who can sing? A goal-tender!
88. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To climb the ranks!
89. What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “You’re a real stopper!”
90. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game? To sweep the ice!
91. What’s a hockey player’s favorite board game? Stickopoly!
92. Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? To navigate through the defense!
93. What did the hockey stick say to the puck? “Let’s stick it to ’em!”
94. Why did the hockey player bring a pillow to the game? In case it was a “soft” match!
95. What do you call a hockey player who can paint? A slap-artist!
96. Why did the hockey puck go to school? To improve its “round”-ing skills!
97. What’s a hockey player’s favorite subject in school? Ice-tory!
98. Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game? To sketch out some winning plays!
99. What did the hockey puck say to the net? “I’m aiming for the goal!”
100. Why did the hockey player bring a clock to the game? To keep an eye on the game-time!

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Conclusion

We hope these hockey jokes brought smiles and laughter to your little ones! Share the fun with friends, family, and teammates. 

Whether on or off the ice, remember that humor is the ultimate power play. Stay tuned for more chuckles and slapstick adventures!

FAQs

Are these jokes suitable for all ages?

Absolutely! These jokes are tailored for kids, ensuring clean and lighthearted humor suitable for all ages.

Can these jokes be used for hockey-themed parties or events?

Absolutely! Whether it’s a birthday party or a team gathering, these jokes will add a dash of humor to any hockey-themed celebration.

How can I encourage my child’s interest in hockey through these jokes?

These jokes are a fantastic way to make hockey fun and engaging. Share them during game breaks or incorporate them into casual conversations to foster a love for the sport.